Introducing The Crushed Film Festival
Submitted by Sarah D. Bunting on February 13, 2009 – 2:31 PM34 Comments
The Crushed Film Festival is a series of pieces in which I and various colleagues admit to/review films we saw because, and pretty much only because, an actor or actress we had a crush on appeared therein. Joining me in the Hall of Shame’s cocktail lounge: the Couch Baron; Joe R of Low Resolution; Mark Blankenship of The Critical Condition; and, I hope, a special guest or two.
Stay tuned for our first program entry, which involves me, Timothy Hutton, and scenery with extra sauce.
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Tags: The Crushed Film Festival
Oh, lord: as a young nerd girl, I saw every piece of crap Jeff Goldblum ever did. I can totally sympathize.
I think “But So-And-So is in it!” is the reason I’ve seen most of the films I’ve seen! Sometimes you get “Stand by Me” and “Running on Empty,” sometimes you get “A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon.” Can’t wait!
I have seen pretty much everything that Christian Kane (pre The Hair) and Josh Charles have ever been in. Some of those films were bad. Very bad.
@Miss Twitch: Transylvania 6-5000. That’s all I have to say about seeing every piece of crap Jeff Goldblum ever did.
I also have an extensive “crushed-by-proxy” list in which I watched lots of movies with a friend because the friend had a crush on an actor. The actor was Rob Lowe. On the other hand, I put her through a bunch of movies featuring an actor that nobody has ever heard of, usually for the sake of watching said actor recite one or two lines and then fade into the background, so I think it was entirely fair that I had to watch “Crazy Six” and “Bad Influence.”
This is brilliant. I cannot wait. My crushed film list would be incredibly embarrassing (notably involving “Buckaroo Banzai” and “The Wraith”), so I can’t wait to see if I have company with any of mine. Somehow company would feel like vindication.
Oh, so you mean movies like “North,” “Forever Young,” and “The War?” I saw all of those, in the theater, during the height of an all-encompassing obsession with Elijah Wood in the early 90s. (We were the same age, so it’s not that gross.)
The most embarrassing entry there is actually the god-awful “Try Seventeen” (aka “All I Want”), which I saw at TIFF in ’02, out of respect for my old crush. I sat three seats away from him, but still couldn’t contain the snorts of derision.
I can’t wait to read these!
Oh, come on now – there is nothing even remotely embarrassing about loving “Buckaroo Banzai”!
I’m still waiting for the sequel. :(
Oh, man. I have seen a LOT of movies just because I liked somebody in them. Pity me and my Bruce Campbell love, which gave me such gems as Mindwarp, Moontrap, Crimewave, and From Dusk Till Dawn 2, which he’s barely in.
“The Wraith” was GENIUS! I’m absolutely ashamed that I love it as much as I do, though. Same with “Crazy Moon” starring a very young & lovely Kiefer Sutherland rocking the Benny look years before “Benny & Joon” graced the screen.
This idea is brilliant. Beyond brilliant. I’m so excited.
Oh, man, this is brilliant. If “crush” movies were film school, I’d have a PhD! (hint: Vincent D’Onofrio has made some Really.Bad.Movies)
“Crushed by proxy” is a good term because being forced to see other people’s crushes can be a very painful crushing movie going experience. My mother had and still has a huge crush on Frank Langella. Nowadays, with Frost/Nixon that’s not such a horrid thing but back in the day he was Skelator in the live action He-Man movie. You couldn’t even see his face behind the mask but we still had to go. It still makes me nauseous.
Beth: Josh Charles is kind of synonymous with the whacked out movie, isn’t he? On the one hand, SWAT, ye gods and little fishes. On the other hand, if you pay enough attention in Hairspray, you get to watch him stick his hand down his pants. :)
(It’s a dance move…never mind.)
Oh my! The memories!
“The Wraith”!
Anything Jeff Goldblum! And the Geena Davis girlcrush!
(The triad of my nirvana back then was “Transylvania 6-5000”, “The Fly” and “Earth Girls Are Easy”)
Crushed film overload were the films “The Lost Boys” and BOTH “Young Guns.”
I hang my head in almost-shame at my guilty pleasure.
(Hmmm….time to update my Netflix queue.) :-)
“Kull the Conqueror” is my most shameful. It’s great when you see it in the theater, right when it comes out, the Friday night 7 o’clock show (central) and there is one other person watching. Still I enjoyed it and have caught it on cable once or twice.
My “crushed-by-proxy” were in HS when I babysat for a little girl who loved Hulk Hogan. Those were some fine films!
That idea pretty much sums up my Netflix queue. “I don’t care how bad it is, so-and-so was in it and I MUST SEE IT.”
I saw “Speedway Junkie” because of JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS. Playing a bisexual hooker. Yeah, that’s right. Beat that.
Hugh Jackman, Someone Like You. At least he took off his shirt.
There is also “Memphis Belle” solely because of Harry Connick jr. Although that did introduce me to David Strathairn. And, um… Billy Zane.
And oh my God! Jane Horrocks was in it! Oh I have to watch that again.
Awesome. Man, I too watched a lot of films because Kiefer Sutherland was in them. There’s his crappy pre-fame films and then there was his excellent, post teen heart throb direct to video phase. One where he stalked Sally Field springs to mind
I may have to watch some of his non24 work just to be a completist
Yeah, my mom, sister and I did summers of these. We sat through the filmographies of Chris O’Donnell, Mel Gibson, Val Kilmer, Jude Law, Seth Green and others. There are some very good movies that I probably would not have seen otherwise. And also some bad ones. This is an awesome idea.
The crush…is there any other reason to see an obviously terrible movie?
I watched Karate Kid pretty much on loop just for Ralph Macchio (who I then later found out was in his late 20s or something, eww to a 10 year old). This was on VHS so you know the quality was lacking by the end of the summer. “Drives me Crazy” with Sabrina the Teenage Witch is bearable mainly because of a young, pretty Adrian Grenier. “Book of Love” with Chris Young… Wow, I have seen a lot of bad movies, but loved each one due to my crushes.
And you know you all still see movies for this exact reason; there’s no denying it!
My crush:
I paid FULL PRICE to see the crap blizzard that was “Fantastic Four” in the theaters solely because Ioan Gruffudd was in it. But in my defense, I was pregnant! And hormonal! And they weren’t making any more “Hornblowers,” dammit!
Crush-by-proxy:
My best friend in high school loooved her some Patrick Swayze. She wanted to name her first-born son after his character in “North and South.” She must have dragged me along to see “Dirty Dancing” probably five times the summer it was released. I was so grateful when her family went out-of-town on vacation so I wouldn’t have to see that movie for two weeks at least. It didn’t help that she was legally blind and we had to sit in the second row.
I have seen some ….”not-good” movies via Netflix simply because Ewan McGregory is in them. And when I say that “The Island” was “not that good,” I’m being very generous and polite.
And I know “Taken” looks pretty silly but– it’s Liam Neeson beating people up! How can I not see it????
There is also “Memphis Belle” solely because of Harry Connick jr.
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Hee, solely because of Eric Stoltz here.
And I saw Young Guns II in the theater, twice, because my best friend had a crush on Kiefer Sutherland and I had one on Balthazar Getty.
I have seen just about every movie Paul Rudd ever did–from “Overnight Delivery” to “Two Days”, from “The Oh in Ohio” to a special visit to Blockbuster for their exclusive “I Could Never Be Your Woman” (worth it for the dance alone!), etc. I used to movie-crush Ethan Hawke and Ethan Embry but those both ran out circa ’00. Also, I realized that I’ve accidentally movie-crushed Kirsten Dunst and seen just about every horrible DVD dud she’s been in (seriously “The Cat’s Meow” and “Whatever”). Now I kinda hope she’ll be on “30 rock” and live up to her “Eternal Sunshine…”/”Bring it on” peaks.
Kate & Leopold: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber and Bradley Whitford. …I still don’t know if that’s enough excuse to have seen it, really.
Oh, I saw “Kate and Leopold” at least three times for the fineness that is Hugh Jackman! By the end of that time, however, I was in a homicidal rage against bitchy, horrible, soulless “Kate,” who had done nothing – NOTHING! – to deserve “Leopold,” but got him anyway. There was a SLEW of decent women with at least an inkling of kindness – and romance – in their souls, who would have made it worth while, but all Meg Ryan – was it Meg Ryan? – did was bitch and whine through the entire movie. How does that merit a romantic reward?
@TheHoobie – re FF: me too. And I wasn’t even pregnant. I might have been PMSing, tho. I am ashamed.
@Annie F – re “And you know you all still see movies for this exact reason; there’s no denying it!” – I certainly can’t deny it. I have deliberately hunted down really, really weird &/or craptastic movies featuring Daniel Craig (Archangel, anyone?), and watched Casino Royale enough times to lose count. Layer Cake rocks, so I hope I redeem myself somewhat.
For those who have braved the wilds of Transylvania 6-5000 for some Jeff Goldblum sitage, I salute you. I paid good money to see it in the theaters and still have a lingering affection for it. My boyfriend considers it a minor character flaw, but he’s got a thing for ’70s grindhouse movies, so he really can’t get too superior.
BTW, I’ve rented Lawnmower Man II: Jobe’s Revenge multiple times because Matt Frewer was hot in the Max Headroom series (as Edison Carter, not Max) and I still adore him. Transylvania 6-5000 is Citizen Kane compared to that movie.
Denzel Washington rarely leads me astray, but then there was “Carbon Copy,” an early 80s cheesetastic slapstick flick about an uptight wealthy white man (boss from “Just Shoot Me” sitcom), who meets his supposedly ghetto-ized black son (Denzel) who was the result of a love affair many years ago. Wacky hijinks and crocodile tears ensue. The hopelessly dated synthesizer background music is enough to condemn this movie.
Jenny mentioned Eric Stoltz above — do you KNOW how many indie movies that man made in the ’90s? And I rented every goddamn one of them. Also had to watch every Cameron Crowe movie, since there was a long string where he had a cameo in every one.
In case anyone was wondering why I married a redhead: Exhibit A is crush on Eric Stoltz.
@Kim – Thanks to both Mask and Some Kind of Wonderful, Eric Stoltz cemented two things for me, my love of redheads (explains why I married my husband) and my love of all things Eric Stoltz. And he was in both Kicking and Screaming and Zoe which means he’s cemented in my head and heart for all time.
@Annie F – re “And you know you all still see movies for this exact reason; there’s no denying it!” – I Have watched a completely horrid movie because it had the trifecta of crushes. Mind Hunters. I don’t care if it had Val Kilmer, Christian Slater and Jonny Lee Miller (Swooon) were in it and we had LL Cool J in it as an extra bonus. That movie sucked! But eye candy!
Also, I think I might have the most embarrassing crush and watched some of the most dispicable crap just for this guy. Stephen Dorff. There, I admitted it.
Lord, I saw “Hollow Man” in an attempt to bring back some of my Kevin Bacon crushiness that hit it’s heyday with “Flatliners.” It didn’t work. Flatliners is awesome. Hollow Man..not so much. But hey, if ya gotta crush, crush on someone who’s got a movie playing on at least fifteen different channels at any given time. And I don’t care if “Stir of Echoes” was a second-rate “The Sixth Sense,” I still love it, darnit.