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Home » Culture and Criticism

N Cereal AA: The Sweet 16

Submitted by on July 7, 2009 – 12:34 PM56 Comments

cinnlifeReady to vote?   Click here.   Confused?   Click here.

1 Rice Krispies vs. 4 Lucky Charms. …Ouch.This match-up could serve as an indicator of what we can expect once the winners in each draw face off.Will you guys pick the classic, despite its dullness as a cereal qua cereal?Or will those of you who eat cereal only as a sweet snack prevail?Super-tough call; I’ll vote Charms, but pick Krispies for the win.

6 Frosted Mini-Wheats vs. 2 Frosted Flakes. …OUCH!…Okay.It’s my opinion that the Flakes have the superior frosting, and don’t rip hell out of your mouth, but again, I don’t eat cereal with milk, or for its nutritional value — and I think the latter might carry the day for Mini-Wheats, not to mention that they have different flavors of frosting for those nowadays.But dang, Flakes rule.I can’t call it.Good luck, folks.

*****

1 Honey Bunches of Oats vs. 5 granola. HBoO is the last of my favorites still in the running: it’s sweet but not too, crunchy but not too, healthy-seeming but not with bark bits and whatnot.And yet, I foresee an upset spanking at the hands/clusters of the ‘nola.

3 Special K with Strawberries vs. 2 Raisin Bran. I’ve made my feelings on raisins clear.(In case you missed one of the 48 previous memos on TN: “Bastards.”)It doesn’t seem to have had much effect; all y’all other raaaaaaaisin-haaaaaaters…come out and plaaaa-aaaaaay.…No?All right, then.Much as I’d like K to KO Raisin Bran, I’m resigned to Bran going to the Final Four.

*****

8 oatmeal vs. 13 Chex. Whenever a baseball team does something improbable — the Nats sweep a division leader, for example — you can count on a commentator to observe, “That’s why they play the games.”That phrase is going through my mind as I look at the Fiberfest draw; what a strange brew it’s turned into, no?All the top seeds upset, and Chex apparently in possession of a band of fierce loyalists?But like the man says, that’s why we play the games.I don’t have a strong feeling about either of these (unless we’re talking Starbucks oatmeal specifically, in which case Chex better look the fuck out), but I’m betting Chex’s Cinderella story to continue.

6 Honey Nut Cheerios vs. 7 Cinnamon Life. I remember Honey Nuts as a lot sweeter back in the day; now, they have more of a molasses top note, which is something I like in a vacuum but not so much on an oat O.Cinnamon Life has its own problems, mostly to do with poor mush resistance, but I’d still vote for it…although I think the Cheerios win here.

*****

1 Captain Crunch/Crunchberry vs. 5 Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It’s a Skin The Roof Of Your Mouth showdown!The Crunch heads to the Elite Eight without breaking a sweat, I suspect, if only because CTC drew all fake-fruity cereals on its way here and can’t outgun a top-seeded fellow starchy-sweet.

6 Corn Pops vs. 2 Froot Loops. It’s a little surprising to see Corn Pops still in this thing.Can they pick up enough votes from Froot-Loop haters to stay alive?I doubt it.Loops FTW.

— Sarah D. Bunting

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56 Comments »

  • Judi says:

    I would buy all of those shirts!

  • Maren says:

    Sars, all I ask in life is a “WHAT OF MY HEN?” teeshirt. Sometimes I say that line to myself when reminded of it and still snerfle.

  • JennyB says:

    The Cap’n is losing? To Cinnamon Toast Crunch? The hell??

  • Rachel says:

    I had a really hard time with the Corn Pops vs. Fruit Loops choice. I mean, I LOVE me some Fruit Loops and recently rediscovered them BUT Corn Pops were always so delightfully different, coming in the weird silvery crunchy bag and being so sweet and crunchy. I chose the Pops, but I’ll understand if they lose.

  • Erin says:

    Its as if I don’t even know you people anymore….

    Lucky Charms are Magically Delicious, dammit!

  • Amy says:

    Starbucks makes oatmeal? You’re messing with me, right? Is this a homebrewed creation like my coffee+dry powdered milk+chocolate Malt-O-Meal (& sometimes chocolate Carnation Instant Breakfast or cocoa mix for good measure)?

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