Poppy-Fields Movie Couch Of Fame: A Few Good Men
And it turns out that not one, but two readers can handle the truth!
Readers Lis and Esther both nominated A Few Good Men for the PFM Couch Of Fame, and I have to say, I’m on board. It’s one of Tom Cruise’s best performances, it’s surprisingly charming when Nicholson isn’t chewing the scenery (and even then, somewhat), and it’s a satisfying sit on a rainy afternoon.
But I’ll let your nominatrices take it from here.
- lengthy? “Yes. That sucker is 138 minutes.” – Esther.
- familiar/frequent? “It was for sure a TBS or USA staple in the mid- to late ’90s.” – Lis.
- classic/award-winner? “It came out the same year as Unforgiven which, in my teenage mind, STOLE all the awards from A Few Good Men. I still haven’t seen Unforgiven so I can’t tell you if I was wrong but I’m apparently still holding a grudge.” – Lis. [“It was nominated for four Oscars and won none of them. Unforgiven is overpraised in the opinion of this commentator; YMMV.” — SDB]
- “Greetings, Professor Falken” (big payoff/long-shot victory a la WarGames)? “Of course! Flippant, cavalier Lt. Daniel Kaffee slowly figures out that he’s got a huge case on his hands, experiences setbacks (like Private Dawson refusing to plead and Lt. Colonel Markinson committing freaking suicide) that force him to develop both as a human being and as a lawyer, and then he finally faces down Colonel Nathan Jessup and compels him to confess ON THE STAND? ‘YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!'” – Esther.
- “Wanna have a catch?” (Pavlovian tear-jerk; anything with dads opens the ducts for this guy)? “Maybe not quite tears, but who isn’t moved by the pathos of Private Downey asking why they were dishonorably discharged — ‘We did nothing wrong!’ — and Private Dawson telling him that they were supposed to fight for people who couldn’t fight for themselves? And then Private Dawson finally gives Lt. Kaffee a salute when he exits the court room: ‘Ten-hut! There’s an officer on deck.’ Classic.” – Esther. (Lis also cites the “officer on deck” line for its effective corn.)
- quote-fest? “So so so many quotes. I work at a law firm, I often say ‘I’m sorry, I keep forgetting. You were sick the day they taught LAW at LAW SCHOOL!’ And of course everything Jack Nicholson says is utterly quotable, but for some reason the really obscure quotes get me more. ‘He really does think better with that bat’ or ‘Pa, look! A mailbox’ are some of my personal favorites.” – Lis.
- caper-ish or -adjacent camaraderie? “Reasonably so, I think. Demi Moore and Tom Cruise were like the Odd Couple in this movie, and together they’re David going up against the Goliath of the U.S. Military. And Kevin Pollak is tagging along with the one-liners and the voice of reason.” – Esther.
- “forget you, melon farmer” (you own it, but will still watch bowdlerized TV verzh) Lis owns it in three different media but only ever watches it via flipping channels.
Anything else, Lis? “This is Sorkin so that automatically turns some people off but, since I love nothing more than characters talking at each other quickly, makes me happy. I saw this in the theater when it came out and I remember loving it (I was 14) and being so angry that Nicholson didn’t win for Best Supporting Actor that I threw a remote control across the room and my mom told me I wasn’t allowed to watch awards shows anymore. I realize that was an extreme reaction but I just really like Jack Nicholson movies okay? God mom, get off my back!
This isn’t a “movie I fall asleep to” which I have a whole separate list for, but this definitely falls into the category of “if I see it is on, I will flip to it and watch it to the end” which I can’t say for a ton of movies, but it does seem most of them are from the ’90s…perhaps it’s partly nostalgia but I find this movie soothing. It also must be said that if you’re at all interested in playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon this movie is required viewing. It’s got a million Hey, It’s That Guy!s so it’s really great for tying people back to the Bacon.”
It really does, starting with the late great Dean Of Hey It’s That Guy!iversity, JT Walsh, as Markinson. And some of it is not so great — Demi Moore, who never quite got the breathing down for the Sorkologues; how overplayed some of the quotes got thanks to SNL, et al. — but it’s very watchable. It’s well put together, and it’s harder than it looks to make legal wrangling dramatic without tumbling into Perry Mason tropes and/or melodrama. And AFGM does the latter at several points, but it’s effective (see: Cruise SCREECHING at Bacon in the bar).
I’ve found myself becalmed by this bad boy, one leg in a boot and the other unzipped, a half-dozen times; it’s got my vote.
Readers? Did we order a Code Red on this one or what?
Lis and Esther: great minds think alike! You’ve won a shirt from the TN store; thanks so much for submitting!
Update, 9/16/14: It’s in there!
The Poppy-Fields Movie Couch Of Fame is here. To nominate your own PFM, email bunting at tomatonation dot com with a rundown of the criteria and your argument for why it deserves a cushion. If I use your entry, free loot shall be thine.
Tags: A Few Good Men Aaron Sorkin Demi Moore Jack Nicholson James Marshall JT Walsh Kevin Pollak movies poppy-fields movies Tom Cruise Unforgiven Wolfgang Bodison
I have a memory like a sieve and cannot for the life of me recall quotables — often miss common pop-culture references, etc. But two from this movie that have stuck with me all these years, and I use as often as I can: “Well don’t I feel like a f*cking a$$hole” (said by Jessup in response to the information that Kaffee’s father, about whom he has been inquiring, is deceased). And “Oh, you STRENUOUSLY object??”
My only requirement for watching this on commercial tv is, it has to be presented in widescreen because watching the scan-and-pan invariably gives me a headache.
The fact that it is a Sorkin script means that Clark Gregg’s story about having to fill in for lead actor Tom Hulse, on Broadway, with only four rehearsals, and a growing horrified recognition that he didn’t really know the lines, that much more ghastly. Absolute actor’s nightmare with a wonderful twist ending. (Source: Gregg’s Nov. 4, 2013, interview on “The Nerdist.” It’s worth hearing just to find out whether you really can die from secondhand embarrassment. I mean, probably not? But it’s a close call.)
YOU NEED ME ON THAT WALL.
Yes, I am in.
One reason I’ve always loved this one is the total LACK of romantic storyline between Moore and Cruise. It’s so obvious that they were setting that up and some smart writer or director said, you know what? This is nothing but distraction and padding, lose it, the story we’re telling is strong enough. I really can’t name another mainstream movie off the top of my head where the two leads are professional colleagues all the way through; not even a kiss, not even in the “Demi stalks furiously off into the rain and Tom chases her down to apologize” scene. It’s a little miracle, really.
I’m going to have to download that Nerdist. That sounds awesomely horrifying.
I totally agree with this movie. It’s just such a classic. Not in the terms of great cinema, but for all the poppy field reasons. I always liked the scenes with Bacon & Cruise shooting the shit, like they’re buddies.
I’ve always found “Ten-hut! There’s an officer on deck” to be pretty cringeworthy. But that being said, AFGM gets my whole-hearted thumbs-up for the list.
Oh, yeah! Absolutely.
I think the line is both on-the-nose and superfluous, given Kaffee’s “Don’t call me ‘son’…” dismissal of Jessup (in every sense of the word) just instants before, so I’m with @Jack there. And I’m right on board with the rest of the reasons cited.
I sometimes wish I could use “… follow the advice of the GALACTICALLY STUPID!” more. It’s one of my favourite lines. That probably points to a terrible character flaw. Kaffee/Cruise’s tantrum always makes me laugh.
I wish I could join in on the praise for this movie, but along with “Studio 60”, it’s my least favorite work Sorkin put his name to. I’m with everyone on the quotability – and my favorite scenes are Cruise hitting a softball while simultaneously conducting a plea-bargain concerning a client caught with a dimebag of oregano (“My client’s a moron. That’s not against the law”), and then his redirect with Noah Wylie (“You mean you’ve never eaten a meal?”) – on the awesomeness of J.T. Walsh (when they decided not to make the air field log book the MacGuffin but a red herring instead, that necessitated cutting out his character’s best scene in the play – when he poses as a news reporter to get the logbook, and then holds the guy up at gunpoint to get it – but the scene where Cruise discovers Walsh hidden in the back seat of his car more than makes up for it), Cruise, while shallow, is good, and Nicholson is a lot of fun as well. And that’s not even mentioning Kevin Pollak as Sam “I have no responsibilities whatsoever” Weinberg (if you want a nice behind-the-scenes look at the making of the film, pick up Pollak’s “How I Slept My Way to the Middle”, which is also worth it for his anecdotes about making AVALON, GRUMPY OLD MEN and its sequel – even if, like me, you never cared for either of them – THE USUAL SUSPECTS, and CASINO).
But I have a couple of huge problems. First of all, and this cannot be overstated, Demi Moore. Admittedly, this character contains all sorts of traps Sorkin has often fallen into when writing female characters (except for C.J. on “The West Wing” and, to a somewhat lesser extent, Natalie on “Sports Night”), but a better actress could have transcended them or at least avoided them (Megan Gallagher played the part on Broadway; I only know her from “Hill Street Blues” and “The Larry Sanders Show”, so I don’t know if she would have worked on the big screen, but she certainly seemed like she would be capable in the part). Moore, however, plays everything in the same monotonous tone, and makes her character annoying when we should be rooting for her somewhat (as written, she’s not only the only one who knows there’s something fishy going on, she also understands the Marines better than Cruise or Pollak’s characters do). Admittedly, I’m not a fan of Moore at all (except for MORTAL THOUGHTS and IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK), so I’m biased, but I thought she was plain awful. Second, I understand these characters aren’t the most experienced in the world when it comes to being in a courtroom, but Downey’s testimony seems less like a plot complication than a grabbing hold of the Idiot Plot ball. Finally, and again, this cannot be overstated, I’m with Weinberg when he characterizes the case as two guys who beat up a slower kid because he couldn’t run fast enough. Yes, the people who ordered it should have been punished more and as well, but the ending, where they get dishonorably discharged, seems less than a (heavy-handed) acknowledgement that they shouldn’t get off scot-free, and more like a sop to placate Weinberg’s point of view. I don’t hate the movie as much as I used to – when I saw it in the theaters when it came out, it was on my worst list for the year – but I still find it problematic at best.
@Sean, these are all valid points. Moore is bad, but less hatefully so than she usually is, though I struggle to understand what’s happening with her hair.
I’d also add that the actors portraying both Dawson and Downey are wretched. Just awful. Dawson in particular seems to have been given his line readings by a drunk Siri.
Because I’m weird, my favorite bit from the movie is:
“They said I could be Markinson and you’d never know it.”
“[pause] Are you Markinson?”
I never fail to laugh out loud at it.
Oh Moore is terrible (I don’t generally like her anyway) and so are Dawson and Downey. Somehow that never ruined the movie for me though. I also forgot to mention in my write up that one of my favorite parts of the movie is when Kevin Bacon is finished with questioning Noah Wyle (I think?) and he’s walking back to the podium with the handbook and Tom Cruise walks past him and snatches it out of his hands. It’s such a smooth and well choreographed move, I really love it.
As Jen S 1.0 said above I also always really appreciated the lack of a romance. Especially since this movie came out during the early to mid 90s sex thriller era of Basic Instinct/Sliver/Body of Evidence etc. I didn’t see this one with my mom, but it was nice knowing I could have without dying of embarrassment.
I’m so glad someone else mentioned Demi Moore’s awful duck butt hair. What in the actual fuck were they thinking with that?
Other than that, this one gets my vote!
The bowdlerised versions on TBS/USA/whatever are great because they don’t even try to make syllables match. “Forget you, Harold!” and “girly-white uniform” are my sister’s and my go-to “can’t swear in public” lines.
I loved this play when I saw it on Broadway – Timothy Busfield had just replaced Tom Hulce when we went to see it, but it also starred Ron Perlman back when he was only otherwise known for playing the Beast in the original Linda Hamilton TV version of Beauty and the Beast (which my mother and watched religiously). Second row seats, Music Box Theater, we were basically looking up everyone’s nostrils, and it was fantastic.
I still prefer the play over the movie, but I will watch the movie whenever it’s on.
My vote for sure.
Tom Cruise actually lands his funny lines in this movie, which doesn’t happen often. Or ever.
I was just thinking of nominating this one! I agree, Moore is just awful – especially when one has gotten so used to seeing (in reruns) how well Janney or Huffman can handle the Sorkinese, and then you go back and see how inept Moore really is.
Wasn’t the guy who played Dawson a PA or something like that who Reiner just decided to cast? That would explain his poor acting.
However, I do think Cruise’s acting is remarkable in this film. As for lines, I was always partial to “It doesn’t matter what I believe; it only matters what I can prove! So please, don’t tell me what I know, or don’t know. I know the law!” Gets me every time.
And lest we forget, one of my favorite parts is a wee Josh Malina in the non-role as Colonel Jessup’s assistant.
Kaffee: Nobody said anything about a boat.
Barnes: Is there a problem, sir?
Kaffee: No, no problem, I’m just not that crazy about boats, that’s all.
Galloway: Jesus Christ, Kaffee, you’re in the Navy for crying out loud!
Kaffee: Nobody likes her very much.
Barnes: Yes, Sir.
That whole exchange just kills me. There’s too many quotables to count in this movie, and it’s definitely on my “if I see it’s on, I always watch it” list.
One thing that bugs me is that Dawson is so convinced of his total innocence that he’s willing to go to prison (and drag Downey along with him) for the rest of his life just to stick up for his code, instead of taking the six months plea agreement.
But by the end of the movie he is totally accepting of his own culpability in beating up on a weaker Marine and inadvertently causing his death. Like, way to almost ruin your life, Downey’s life, and everyone’s career there pal, thanks for catching up.
Between Toothy Cruise and Jack ‘Piece of Liver Jerky’ Nicholson (both give me hives) I’ve never been able to sit through the entire thing. I figure the bad SNL sketches and clips I’ve seen are plenty, thanks.
Sorry, gonna have to punt on this one.
Ohhhhh, this is definitely a Poppy Fields movie for me. Even more so because it’s one that I don’t think I’ve ever seen the beginning of it. I will never seek it out to watch, but I once I find it I can’t turn it off.
Oh, this is one I love. It’s just got great line after great line.
I never thought Demi Moore was horrid, just that 70-80% of the time she just couldn’t keep up with the rest of the cast, which was really very strong. (Dawson & Downey weren’t great either, I will admit). But Keifer as the asshole Lt? Bacon & Pollack? all wonderful. Cruise of course played Tom Cruise, but he did it well and it’s the right role for him, square in the wheelhouse. (the way he jumps spotting JT Walsh in the backseat usually makes ME jump. I always wondered if they didnt tell him JT was going to be back there. Tell me you wouldn’t go through the roof if you looked in the back seat and suddenly spotted the cold eyes of JT Walsh staring at you!)
JA Preston as the judge is terrific. Love him.
The stuff in court spun out a lot like an early John Grisham book to me. tense, sharp dialogue, and really gets you to the edge of your seat rooting for the good guys. I still cringe and look for someplace to hide why Demi Moore starts in on the “I strenuously object!” 20 years we’ve been using that line now…
Downey was played by none other than James “Slater Fetus” Marshall, which…surprises me not at all.
I’ve always wanted to see what everybody else saw in this movie, but have to settle for the Cliff’s Notes version of what Sean Gallagher posted above. I can add only that Demi Moore and Tom Cruise singly make me want to slap them both bald-headed and run with their hair, but together they produce in me the same effect as angry spiders in my underpants. There’s no plumbing the depths of that loathing.
Jen S., the only one I can think of is ‘A League of Their Own’ where there is maaaaaybe an undercurrent of sexual tension between Jimmy and Dottie but they’re clearly never going to act on it because they care about the team (and maybe Dottie’s boring husband) so much more.
I am active in my local community theater and last year served on the play reading committee to select the shows for this year’s slate. The script is SO CONFUSING and I’m a veteran (heh) of dozens of productions over the years. It gave me a new respect for actors who have performed Sorkin’s material in any format.
In a way, my favorite bowdlerization is when they mute Jack Nicholson screaming “GOD” but not “DAMN”, because that says a lot about American culture that even bleeping out Eff-Star-Star-Star does not.
@DD, I notice that and roll my eyes whenever that happens. So puritanical.