The Blind Side and Avatar: Let’s Congratulate Ourselves On Re-Colonizing The Other With Weaponized Syrup
Watching The Blind Side and Avatar in a 12-hour period is not recommended, but is nevertheless instructive.
For those of you who avoid my baseball entries, I’ve written in the past about the reaction to players who accuse MLB, or individuals within MLB, of racism. The official reaction is customarily quite careful, but the reaction among media and fans is often to blow these allegations off at hurricane speeds. Why? A few of the dismissers are actually racists, or merely terminally insensitive; many others, operating from a position of white privilege, simply don’t want to deal with it.
But many Caucasian-Americans, I believe, respond with a modified version of plugging the ears and wailing “LA LA LA LA LAAAAA” because we just don’t want racism to still exist. We don’t want to believe that it continues; we want that problem in the past tense, because it is a blight, a disgrace, in which we all feel implicated and for which we can’t make amends. Nor can we go back in time and fight that shadow, so instead, we act as though it has retreated for good.
Or we rewrite history in our art to congratulate ourselves on siding with justice and righteousness. This is a good-hearted and appropriate instinct — mostly; it’s difficult to read Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee and not clench the book and mutter, “Come on, come ON, the negotiations won’t work, please just start shooting and save yourselves,” even though you know how it ends.
But the instinct is one thing. Inserting a member of the dominant cultural group into the narrative; writing that member not only to master the native ways, but to best the natives at their skill sets; implying that only through the smarts and leadership of the formerly reviled, but now trusted and even lionized, Moist White Dude can the poor peaceful natives and their gooey relationship with nature be saved…in one sense, it’s the actualization of a white-guilty desire for things to have gone differently, which, while unsophisticated and patronizing, does mean well in its inception.
But it’s condescending, it’s simplistic, and last but not least, it’s boring to watch, because we have seen it done I don’t even know how many times already. Avatar is a gorgeous movie to look at in 3D, but the rewatch value is pretty much nil, because the storytelling is hackneyed limousine-liberal global-village garbage straight from the output tray of the Platitudotron 4000.
The storytelling is beside the point, of course. So is the acting (fortunately, because: stinky; ditto the dialect work). I get the feeling James Cameron comes up with a cool visual idea, invents the technology to execute it, and reverse-engineers the script from there, and if you hadn’t already figured out that expecting nuance from a Cameron film is a fool’s errand, well, now you know. But it isn’t a story, really; it’s an event, and while I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, that’s likely because I thought I would absolutely hate it.
The Blind Side is a different version of the same problem. It’s based on a true story, but I don’t know how much slack that cuts it in terms of how loudly it congratulates itself on helping out a black kid from the projects — the projects! Egad! I haven’t read the book, but I suspect that Michael Oher’s story is just a bit more complicated than the “seldom speaks, except to reveal deep pools of insight…unless it’s more convenient script-beat-wise to go back to portraying him as developmentally delayed” gentle-giant sketch he’s given here. Sean Tuohy’s “Who’d have thought we’d have a black son before we’d know a Democrat?” line is played for laughs, but: blech. The iron-magnolia character, which Sandra Bullock doesn’t completely sell because she’s thinking too hard about that accent: double blech. These “real” people feel as fake as a focus-grouped View-Master reel of cornbread.
Of course everything ends up going Michael Oher’s way. Of course he never behaves in any scary or complicated manner; how perfect that practically the only hip-hop in the movie is a 20-plus-year-old track from Young MC — which then leads to a car wreck. Of course his mama just turns him over to the Tuohys, and of course the two mamas have a bonding moment, because the white lady is the bestower of virtue and mercy — but still sassy enough to call a homeboy “bitch” right back! You go, girl! To get me some insulin!
Perhaps everything did happen exactly that way, I don’t know. No doubt some troubling incidents got elided in the name of uplift; if not, the screenwriter should have created a few, if only to tone down the sanctimony and drown out the back-patting. And the screenwriter absolutely should have cut the “Shame on you” and “He’s helping me” lines, because the character is hard enough to relate to with her 1.5 dimensions without having to watch her beatify herself.
As for their Oscar chances, well, Avatar is going to win a lot of things, der. I think it takes Best Director plus all the effects stuff, and Best Picture goes to something else, but it could win BP too. It didn’t get any screenplay noms, so: fine. Proceed. It’s a huge achievement, the movie, but it’s movies like it that make me wish the Academy had a separate category in which to place cultural events like Avatar, which in many ways doesn’t belong in the same conversation with a film like An Education.
Sandra Bullock: tough call. As an actor, she’s a hard worker, and I respect that about her, but I wouldn’t give her the statue for this, not with Mulligan in the category. She didn’t suck, but I’d have nominated Michelle Rodriguez instead.
…HA HA HA! No, not really. Come on. Anyway: without having seen the other nominees, I can’t call this one yet, but rumor has it Bullock is the front-runner. No real mystery there: they go with Best Supporting Actress for Precious‘s one statue, skip over Mirren and Streep for winning before, and don’t see Mulligan’s performance, so it’s Bullock’s. I don’t love it, but that’s one reality.
Death Race 43, Sarah 15; 1 out of 24 categories completed
Tags: bad accents Carey Mulligan Helen Mirren It's Log James Cameron Meryl Streep Michelle Rodriguez movies Oscars 2010 Death Race Sandra Bullock Young MC
But can it play offense?
@Soylent: “No! No! No! I was joking! Can’t you detect sarcasm? Aaaaaaaaaaaargggggghhhhh…”
There isn’t enough unobtainium in the universe to run that machine.
I’m enjoying this thread more and more. Thanks, everybody!
Essentially, these two reviews–and the ensuing comments–have cemented my insatiable desire to avoid seeing these movies, forever, world without end, AMEN. I said “AMEN”, Lord.
I’d rather have Edward Scissorhands for a gyno than see even ten minutes of a Cameron film, on general principle, and I’ve already got a Hallmark Channel, so no on “The Blind Side” as well.
I’m glad I saw “Avatar” in 3D because it was pretty. So was Jake Sully! Although in the middle of the movie I started counting the times the actor’s accent slipped back into Australian.
But I don’t need to see it again. I have a copy of “Fern Gully” from childhood that I can watch.
“I kind of enjoyed the Colonel, if only because the guy playing him is clearly having a rad old time.”
That’s for sure! And, for all that, the Colonel comes off as not so much “Insane Wargasm Addict” as “Likes To Kick People’s Asses”. If the whole war had been called off, he’d go home and join an MMA league or something.
One of the ways that the movie could have been better would have been for the Colonel to actually meet the supersmurfs at one point. I mean, sure, it wouldn’t have been written any better than the rest, but I would have liked to see the Colonel say something to Sigourney Weaver like “you know, I don’t even speak his language, but I understand him better than I understand you.” (“him” being the jerk alien who didn’t like Jake Sully at first.)
*****
To work the racism angle into it: Did you notice, in “Avatar”, how despite it being The Super Far Future, there are still distinct racial types–and the majority type is American White? (I’m not the first one to make this observation.)
*****
“But many Caucasian-Americans, I believe, respond with a modified version of plugging the ears and wailing “LA LA LA LA LAAAAA” because we just don’t want racism to still exist. ”
Partly that, but it’s probably also a sort of combat fatigue; after hearing for the zillionth time that Racism Still Exists, you start to wonder why you bother caring when no matter what you do Racism Still Exists.
Also? When a fourteen-year-old yells “nigger” over Xbox Live Chat, he isn’t racist. He’s just been told since birth that “nigger” is obscene and “fuck” is not.
Carrie, I think you nailed it with: “I can’t help but think of The Blind Side as the “Red State” Oscar Entry. I can’t quite pin it down, but this movie feels to me like it was ruthlessly grown in a petri dish to appeal to the types of movie-goers to complain about sex and bad language in movies…”
Sounds like The Blind Side, ten years ago, would have had me sniffling and cheering and melting in a paroxysm of warmheartedness because some hero helped that Poor Black Kid. They can do that now, because racism is dead, right? Funny how spending a few years with someone who is Not White can help open one’s awareness of how racism is not only alive and wel, but also how much people want to bury their heads in the sand about it. (Shining example: he went to get some professional help dealing with the racism he has experienced, and the psychologist – half his age – just chirped, “Oh, racism? Does that even happen anymore?”)
“Who’d have thought we’d have a black son before we’d know a Democrat?” Man. That tells me the movie is exactly what I feared it would be: a vehicle for White People Everywhere to collectively pat themselves on the back because somebody involved themselves with another race. I’d love to hear that The Blind Side celebrates the eternal goodness of people helping people; when we’re supposed to think the benefactors deserve extra credit because they’re white… meh.
The buzz I heard from people who’d just seen Avatar made it sound transcendent. My actual experience was about what I expected: decent popcorn flick, pretty effects, stupid and condescending premise. Thanks for the validation.
Also … “unobtainium”? Seriously? I can’t believe I sat through the whole movie and missed that.
“Who’d have thought we’d have a black son before we’d know a Democrat?” – That line was taken directly from the book, as was the NCAA investigation, them taking him in after finding him wandering down the street (though Sean Tuhoy knew more about him from school), etc. The book is excellent. I thought the movie did it a good amount of justice.
They left out a key thing…Sean Tuhoy came from nothing, and after becoming successful, did quite a bit to give back. He actually helped many of the kids at the school, not just Oher. Oher didn’t really speak. Leann was integral in his development, and from what the book said, Sandy played that part to a T.
I didn’t like the actor they cast for Oher, but the Oher in the movie, behavior-wise, reflected well the Oher in the book. I had no idea what had happened to Oher as I read the book, but am well pleased that he has become successful. According to his teammates, he still doesn’t say much.
There are a few things in the movie that didn’t happen exactly that way in the book, but they are based on things that happened in the book, just adapted for better entertainment. It’s a movie; they’re gonna do that. But the “feel good” nature of it isn’t contrived, it is a true feel good story!
Read the book; even if you don’t know much about football (like me), it is quite interesting.
http://tinyurl.com/y8rra5c
So if it feels like Pocahontas, now you know why…
I second the sentiment “Haven’t seen The Blindside and I don’t plan to, because Sandra Bullock is in it”. It’s sort of very transparent that this is the Sandra Bullock oscar project, and I for one can’t really stand her as an actress (I’m sure she’s a nice person, but she’s not a good actress).