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Home » Culture and Criticism

The N Cracker AA: Nominations

Submitted by on July 23, 2013 – 7:00 AM120 Comments

ncrackeraa-1

It’s time for the N Cracker AA — together, we’ll choose the best cracker of them all.

You probably know how this works already, but in case you’ve never been here before: Keckler and I will make a big old list of kinds of crackers, with your help; we’ll randomize ’em and put ’em in flights; then we’ll write about ’em and you’ll fight about ’em and then we’ll have a winner. (Check out the introduction to Cinemarch Madness for an idea of how the N Cracker AA will go. No brackets this time.)

A few things to know:

  • not sure what we’re doing with “sandwich crackers”; feel free to nominate them
  • graham crackers are out, for the same reason tomatoes are a vegetable — in other words, if it’s a “digestive cracker” most people “use as” a cookie, it’s out
  • …but Goldfish are in
  • yes, you can nominate different types of the same brand

Three (3) nominations per comment, please. You can second as many as you like, and you can re-comment, but please make an effort to read the thread at least cursorily. Thanks!

Now, my Carr’s Cheese Melts and I are going to kick back and see what you come up with. Questions/arguments, let us know! You have ’til Tuesday July 30.

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120 Comments »

  • Lily P. says:

    …yeah, so after reading this thread over the last two days, I went shopping while hungry just now and ended up buying four types of crackers. Including Wheat Thins, which I forgot I already had. Oy.

  • Leah says:

    Wheeeeeeat Thiiiins. For realz y’all, I could eat a box in one sitting. (And have).

    Also Saltines. They aren’t just for stomach bugs anymore! A sleeve of Saltines, a jar of Nutella and a knife and I’m a happy girl.

  • Wehaf says:

    Kashi’s Tasty Little Crackers, especially the honey sesame variety. Delicious.

  • Nanc in Ashland says:

    Almond Nut This with a Hint of Sea Salt flavor.
    Nairn’s Oatcake crackers, any flavor!
    I’m sure these would be eliminated early if they even made the bracket but I have to throw them in!

  • milaxx says:

    Wheat thins original
    Ritz
    Nabisco premium saltines (the only thing I can eat whenever I get sick is progresso vegetarian soup & saltines)

  • Sharon says:

    Thanks for clearing up the Carr’s cracker mystery, Sars!!

    Also adding:

    Wheat thins (non-stoned, although the stoned variety is superior)

    Ritz

    Wasa crips – whatever the ones that had Ivan Lendl on the box in the ’80’s… I LOVED those things for some bizarre reason

  • Beth says:

    Animal Crackers
    Water Biscuits
    Grahamn Cracker

  • Kristin says:

    Hot & Spicy Cheez-Its!!! Best thing ever.

    Seconding Waverly Crackers (and high-fiving my great grandma)

    How about those Pepperidge Farm sesame stick things? I used to live for those.

    Yum, crackers…

  • attica says:

    If you live around NYC or NYCers, one of the true delights of the contest will be hearing people discuss the merits of their favorite ‘crackizz.’ Too bad that locution isn’t captured in all its sonic awesomeness here on the internets.

  • Erin in SLC says:

    Oh, MAN.

    – Can we nominate a cracker posthumously? Because Triscuit seems to have discontinued its “fire-roasted tomato and olive oil” (read: tasty tasty MSG) variety. My husband swears I’m the only person who ever bought them, but I may never love again. Seriously.
    – Townhouse, thirded. Slightly more unapologetically buttery than Club and light years better than Ritz.
    – Cheez-It original, umpteenthed, and I expect we’ll see it in the final.

    Also, are we allowed to trash-talk yet? Because all Cheez-It’s knockoffs are miserable in comparison except maybe Goldfish. Better Cheddars taste like freezer-burnt mild ched, Cheese Nips (do they even still bother?!) like waxy death, and the list goes on.

  • slices says:

    The sesame rectangle in the Pepperidge Farm Entertaining Quartet
    Pepperidge Farm Snack Sticks — sesame or pumpernickel (I believe the whole line is now discontinued, sniff!!)Used them to scoop buckets of the pink and orange swirl “port wine” cheese Wispride spread back in the day, yum!!
    Raincoast Crisps — partial to the rosemary raisin variety — excellent with a super sharp aged cheddar

  • LizC says:

    Putting in a last minute vote for RkKrisps and Peanut Butter-Cheese Sandwich Crackers.

  • Emily says:

    Most of my faves have been named, so I’ll try not to be multiplicative.

    Roasted Garlic Triscuits
    Ka-Me rice crackers–sesame
    Kashi 7-grain snack crackers

  • CJ says:

    I wanted to specify the PREMIUM Saltines for my vote! That’s the Nabisco brand. I am now going to try the ZESTAs again but in my memory they are not as good as the Nabisco.

  • Laura says:

    More love for Nairn’s oat cakes! C’mon!

    Do you guys have Ryvita over there?

  • avis says:

    Only one nom for Captain’s Wafers? The best, most buttery cracker ever? What do you people do in restaurants while you are waiting for your actual food?

    If Saltines win I will despair for humanity.

    Captain’s Wafers
    Vegetable Thins
    Captain’s Wafers

  • Nicole says:

    Umm.. Why has no one,said bacon dippers? It’s not just Canadian, is it? So yummy!

  • Jamie says:

    I only have two noms:

    Tricuits: Rosemary and Olive Oil flavor. (Try these with jellied cranberry sauce as dip. It’s delicious.)

    Nabisco Bacon Crackers. (I don’t think you can buy these anymore though, so maybe they don’t qualify.)

  • JB says:

    Cheezits (although my vote is for the Colby over any of the other flavors… especially the provolone, which tastes like ashtray, but I keep rebuying them every few months because I love actual provolone cheese, and I apparently never learn.

    Those buttery Pepperidge Farms crackers shaped like butterflies (Butter Thins, I think are the name? Do they still make those?)

    I actually prefer the dill-and-olive-oil Triscuits to the rosemary, because I am contrary.

  • Susan says:

    I second Tam Tams, my childhood favorites.

    DSayko: I think cheese was done a couple of years ago, but I don’t remember the winner.

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