The NC Double Shot Round of 64, Flight 1: A-Ch
Today’s write-ups by Sarah D. Bunting. Confused? Click here. To refresh your memory on ingredients, we recommend Google.
1 Bloody Mary vs. 16 Americano / Campari and Soda. A Campari cocktail has such a wonderful mid-century idea about it, a throwaway line in a Fellini film, or the sort of pale-pink thing your grandmother would drink on a July afternoon, playing cards with her friends on the side porch. It’s an acquired taste, though, even with soda or fruit juice, and it can never rival the Bloody’s miraculous ability to bring even the nastiest MGD hangover to heel. The Bloody has its detractors, sure, but enough people love horseradish; love the Bloody Maria and other variations; or need to get from half-dead to parental brunch by whatever means necessary that the tomatoey concoction should sail right through.
1 Bloody Mary vs. 16 Americano / Campari and Soda
- Bloody Mary (62%, 426 Votes)
- Americano / Campari and Soda (38%, 265 Votes)
Total Voters: 690
Loading ...8 Black / White Russians vs. 9 Caipirinha. Tough call. I find White Russians disgusting (the recipe phrase “float of cream” alone flutters the gorge), and the Black Russian isn’t much more appealing; it’s the same reason I don’t care for rum balls (hew) — sticky-sweetness and booze don’t sit well together for me. But…the Dude’s got a beverage here, and it’s said that a well-made WR tastes like coffee ice cream. As well, the caipirinha’s arm-garter-sporting-bartender heyday seems to have passed some years ago. But as far as 0-to-bloodstream efficacy, the caipirinha is hard to beat. I think it wins, but I think it’s close. [“I will always hold the caipirinha among my favorites purely because of the <em>Two Fat Ladies</em> demo of it, which is where I first learned of its existence.” — Keckler]
8 Black / White Russians vs. 9 Caipirinha
- Black / White Russians (52%, 369 Votes)
- Caipirinha (48%, 334 Votes)
Total Voters: 703
Loading ...5 Cape Cod vs. 12 Bahama Mama. The Mama has too much on. It has a lot of elements I like, but it needs to look in the mirror before it leaves the bar and take one thing off — or two. Or five. Make it with dark rum and ditch the coconut liqueur and the grenadine and maybe we can have a conversation. [“Plus the BM is a stupid-ass name that was probably meant to embarrass the orderer into NOT ordering it.” — Keckler] [“So true. It’s the Moons Over My Hammy of drink orders.” — SDB] Until then, I’d take the Cape Cod every time; it’s a vodka cran, always a good bet — and with lime juice, which I love, and I think voters do too. CC FTW.
5 Cape Cod vs. 12 Bahama Mama
- Cape Cod (88%, 610 Votes)
- Bahama Mama (12%, 82 Votes)
Total Voters: 692
Loading ...4 Amaretto Sour vs. 13 Buttery / Slippery Nipples. I could probably get a whole Slippery down without gagging, but the Buttery…gack! It’s like diabetes in a glass! The Amaretto Sour should strike me as equally gross, and if it’s made with one of the cheap brands of sour mix designed specifically to shield freshman tongues from the horror of alcohol’s actual taste, it’s like licking almond Tupperware — but if it’s mixed right, it’s heavenly. What’s more, y’all specifically requested it, so I see a victory here.
4 Amaretto Sour vs. 13 Buttery / Slippery Nipples
- Amaretto Sour (82%, 535 Votes)
- Buttery / Slippery Nipples (18%, 119 Votes)
Total Voters: 654
Loading ...6 Bellini vs. 11 Boilermaker / Depth Charge / Car Bomb. A Boilermaker or one of its explosively named brethren is fun to do, or to watch; it has an efficient cred. You want beer; you want whisky; you won’t fuck around. It is the spiritual opposite of the Bellini, which is fun to say and fun to drink, in that “Zsa Zsa on Dick Cavett” way. It’s pretty sweet, and not everybody’s a sparkling-grape fan, but it’s my pick and I think it’s yours too.
6 Bellini vs. 11 Boilermaker / Depth Charge / Car Bomb
- Bellini (78%, 542 Votes)
- Boilermaker / Depth Charge / Car Bomb (22%, 149 Votes)
Total Voters: 691
Loading ...3 Bacardi Cocktail / Rum Punch vs. 14 Alabama Slammer. The Slammer sounds good, in theory, if you like Southern Comfort, but I can’t hang with SoCo anymore, and my dad makes a really great stripped-down Rum Punch with navel oranges. The Bacardi Cocktail seems like a sentimental favorite [“I love that it was ruled in 1936 that it was ILLEGAL to make this cocktail with any rum other than Bacardi rum.” — Keckler], but this vote could be a lot closer than our rankings suggest. Call it.
3 Bacardi Cocktail / Rum Punch vs. 14 Alabama Slammer.
- Bacardi Cocktail / Rum Punch (81%, 530 Votes)
- Alabama Slammer (19%, 123 Votes)
Total Voters: 653
Loading ...7 Champagne Cocktail vs. 10 Brandy Alexander. Again with the dairy. I…no. And sometimes it separates…no! No no no. Cannot. Sorry. The Champagne Cocktail, meanwhile, is a tart, fizzy delight; it figures heavily in stories mothers tell about their freshman-year roommates, for some reason. [“I’m truly torn. Brandy Alexander is the ONLY cream drink I’ll accept. I do love it more than I should. Also, I met Mathra while drinking one in England, so there’s that. Someone once told me that the Champagne Cocktail was a ‘hooker’s drink,’ not sure why or where that even came from, but I love the ceremony of dropping the sugar cube in the glass. Plus, it’s THE drink of Moonstruck, I believe, though the Castorinis nix the bitters.” — Keckler] The Cocktail probably wins, but I never discount the headachey loathing some people feel for champagne.
7 Champagne Cocktail vs. 10 Brandy Alexander
- Champagne Cocktail (80%, 531 Votes)
- Brandy Alexander (20%, 136 Votes)
Total Voters: 667
Loading ...2. [X] and Soda / Wine Spritzer vs. 15 B-52. It’s a cop-out to cram most of the “and soda” drinks into one category, but hey, we don’t get paid to do these brackets and we couldn’t think of another solution. I know a few vodka-and-soda drinkers, and my pops has occasionally busted out a dark-rum-and-soda — which is narst, actually. Sorry, Dad. It’s not as narst as the B-52, however. Kahlua and Irish cream together is already pushing it, but then I don’t understand how the bilious Grand Marnier is the solution here. If you have actually tasted a B-52, and would care to mount a defense of its particular alchemy in the comments, I look forward to reading it — and to still not trying a B-52. Soda/spritzer drinks, by a wide margin.
2. [X] and Soda / Wine Spritzer vs. 15 B-52
- [X] and Soda / Wine Spritzer (87%, 587 Votes)
- B-52 (13%, 89 Votes)
Total Voters: 676
Loading ...
Tags: hew Keckler The NC Double Shot tonight we drink
I still can’t order a Moons over My Hammy. Years ago I was at a Denny’s with my cousin and I swear she ordered it just because it kept us giggling through the entire meal. And there are definitely drinks I refuse to order just because they have dumbass names.
I believe that the line in re champagne cocktails being for hookers was prominently featured in commercials for the Brendan Fraser/Alicia Silverstone, uh, smash hit “Blast From the Past.” I haven’t seen the movie (no, really) but Imdb confirms:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124298/quotes?qt=qt0413297
I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but a Boston-area bagel shop used to have a roast-beef-related sandwich called The Udder One, which I loved (back when I could eat beef consequence-free), but the Biscuit got extreme social anxiety from hearing me order it and would ask me repeatedly just to order the individual ingredients. It really was a terrible name.
Gack, the Buttery Nipples needs to go down down down. Years ago, after a particularly raucous party in my college town, I had to drive home the next morning (all the way across Pennsylvania: from Cleveland to New Jersey) and didn’t have time to shower or otherwise mitigate my funk. On top of that, I had a cold, so EVERY time I wiped my nose, all I could smell was the BN residue all over my hands. And arms. It was so bad that I stopped somewhere on I-80 and did a quick scrub attempt. You know when gas station bathroom “soap” is the preferable smell, you are dealing with pure evil.
Thus, Amaretto Sour wins this round. None of the other matchups caused such a visceral reaction in me, but I’m sure when tequila shows up, I’ll have flashbacks to at least one bad morning caused by Senor Cuervo.
I had no idea a B-52 contained Grand Marnier. Ick. I used to love them, but we were definitely skipping that ingredient when we were making them, so… apparently I was in love with an impostor. Story of my life.
My first thought about the champagne cocktail was indeed that it’s a hooker’s drink, and I have a first-hand anecdote to substantiate (yes, just the one anecdote, but it’s my only hooker encounter, ever, so I’m keeping it).
Back in my army-band days, when I was desperate to fit in and pass for straight, I was out in San Francisco with 3 of my buddies (all mild-mannered musician types), and we pass one of those doormen with the “hey gentlemen, you ought to come in and have a good time” patter. Though we all knew what that was about, for some reason the guys decided to give it a look, so of course I had to go along. We got seated immediate at little tables with dressed-up girls, who immediately asked if we would order them a drink. And mine wanted a champagne cocktail. (I was also the only one who paid. When the others heard the prices they stood up and left, with me right behind them, but I’d already put the money on the table. No tip though.)
There was a smoothie place near where I used to temp in NYC, and they made THE most delicious smoothie that was called…The Bronx Cheer. Some days I just wasn’t up for ordering it.
I’ve tried to like the Bloody Mary for years, but no matter how well it’s built I start gagging after three sips. But I adore campari, so…no contest.
Sadly, I can’t drink Bellinis any more (stupid peach allergy) but I love bubbly with anything. Boilermakers? I like beer, I like whiskey – why screw them both up?
Champagne cocktails are so much better than the opposition, it’s ridiculous.
Keckler, I believe the champagne cocktail as hooker’s drink comes from the criminally underrated film “Blast from the Past” in which Brendan Fraser players a guy whose parents (Sissy Spacek and Christopher Walken!) overreact to the Cuban Missile Crisis and go into their underground bunker for 30 years, raising their son as if it’s still 1960s and thus when he re-emerges, he thinks a now-retro cocktail is the height of sophistication.
Eve: Here ya go, one champagne cocktail.
Adam: Oh, thank you.
Eve: I thought only hookers drank those things?
Adam: Well, I know Mom sure likes ’em.
My mom certainly does, and if they are good enough for Mere de terre and Sissy Spacek, they are good enough for me.
Heh, I love that movie: “Oh Adam, it would be wonderful if you could meet a girl. One who’s not a mutant and hopefully comes from Pasadena” and “Oh my lucky stars! A Negro!”
I’m pleased that the creamy, sticky sweet drinks are tanking for now. It only takes one night that ends in puke and sadness to never look another cream-based drink in the eye again. Shudder.
Looks like that caipirinha/caucasian match is gonna go down to the wire.
Oh dear, I do love a B52. But the GM aspect of it is just so there’s something on top to set on fire. (And even more fun when you sprinkle ground cinnamon into the flame: sparky! A fellow I met in a bar in Austria insists that the sparky-cinnamon version is called a Science Fiction.) Sure, I’ve come dangerously near to losing my eyebrows, but I’ve never minded the risk. It’s really the only format in which I like coffee flavoring.
Okay, I had no idea what a B-52 was and ugh, I never want one either. I kind of feel like no matter what’s up against a fussy-filled-with-everything-just-to-get-you-drunk-drink has to get my vote. Those aren’t cocktails, they are just vehicles for drunkenness.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that….
Woo-hoo, Bellini! Vote for it because it is named after a composer!
@ Carrie Ann – omg, I think “Puke and Sadness” would make for a great losers’ bracket title. :)
I was just in Slovakia and the Czech Republic where the bars were insisting B-52s had cachaca instead of GM. If you don’t know what cachaca is, basically it’s fermented sugarcane but no, it’s not good like rum. So now we have Kahlua, Irish cream, and bitter fake-rum. GAG!
Bloody Mary should be way higher than 64%. It does annoy me to pay $5 for one, and then have a stupid celery stick take up half the space in the glass. I always ask for extra olives instead though.
@pomme de terre — “oh my stars a negro” is one of my all-time favorite movie lines, mostly because of Brendan Fraser’s completely un-ironic delivery. Thanks for the smile.
We have a friend whose last name is Hammer. Turned to Hammy. Turned to Moons Over. 20 years later, he is still referred to as such.
I have fuzzy memories of B-52s. In university, we would haul the frosh out to the university’s farm for a weekend of non-stop drinking and euchre-playing. The farm was located in a wooded area of varying topography. My first night there as a 5’/95lb 18-year-old frosh, someone lined up a 15′ row of B-52s in medicine cups. I drank 7. Then I went for an outdoor jaunt, of which I recall very little, and when I woke up the next morning dogpiled in a bunch of people in the baseball field, I found that my sweater was covered in burrs. Walking back to the farmhouse in search of a toothbrush and super-tylenol, I discovered that the only place between the house and the ballfield that contained burrs sat on the edge of a 60′ cliff. I have never touched a B-52 since.
I think the time of year might have an effect on everyone’s voting. In November, I might be more inclined to vote for a Brandy Alexander or some other thick creamy drink. Now that it’s mid-May, the light fizzy Camparis and X+sodas sound much more appealing. Even (especially?) Monday morning at work at 10:00am.
Re the Bahama Mama topic, when I was a teenager, I remember feeling so very silly when I requested a “‘Raspberry Cheese Louise,” please” from at Baskin-Robbins.
Ahem, it’s actually a Cape Codder (at least that’s what we call it in Boston.) It’s one of the easiest drinks to make when you’re a poor grad student and I did. Frequently.
I’m surprised the Boilermaker is going down so hard. A bartender once made me a variant with Jack Daniels and whatever Harpoon’s winter beer is. It was awesome.
It’s actually either one. http://www.drinkoftheweek.com/drink-recipes/cape-cod/
One of my favourite drinks choices is a “soda and a shot of the weirdest thing they have behind the bar”. Soda and those tonic herbal liqueurs (i.e. Jager) is really good. Soda and black Sambuca is excellent (if you love black licorice, which I do) and has the advantage of looking very strange indeed.
Oh, I wanted to vote for the Car Bomb, as it was my signature drink for a good chunk of my twenties. That said, I decided to vote with what I actually drink nowadays, rather than nostalgia. And I like me some bubbles, and actually drink them with some regularity.
And I can’t even smell tomato juice without getting a tiny bit nauseous (thanks, college!), so definitely no Bloody Marys for me. Ever. And no SoCo either, because I am a Bourbon girl and SoCo is the world’s most pathetic imitation of a real liquor.
Right out of the gate you give me a “Sophie’s Choice”! I love Bloody Mary’s AND Campari and Soda equally. I’m really picky about Bloody’s; there are so many bad ones out there, but when you get a great one, like the beautiful ones at King’s in Seattle, they can be a religious experience.
I went ahead and threw my vote to Campari, because that unique bitter grapefruit taste mixed with club soda reminds me of late Spring in southern France in all the best ways possible.
My first reaction to seeing the “___ & Soda” entry was annoyance, but I agree, I don’t see what else you guys could’ve done that wouldn’t have pushed other dserving cocktails out of the brackets.
I can’t even look at drinks the color of a Bloody Mary. I think it’s leftover trauma from having to drink tomato juice in preschool. (Apparently I can hold a grudge for 25 years.)
I have never called it a Cape Cod, although I was aware of the name. For me it was just “Vodka & Cran”. It was, and remains, my go-to drink. My favorite variant is Stoli O & Cran, no fruit. (Who needs that fruit taking up space in my glass that should reasonably be filled with vodka?) The orange stoli combined with the cran is dee-lightful.
And I have to ask, when did the bars start using cranberry juice from a gun instead of good all Ocean Spray? Talk about the nast! I have been known to sprint out to the corner deli to buy a small bottle of the OC cran so that the bar can cheerfully sell it back to me. But then, I am particular about my cocktails.
@StillAnotherKate
Perhaps this is because I live in Ocean Spray country, but I’ve never encountered that. It sounds awful. They had that icky fountain cranberry juice in the cafeteria at my college, it sucked.
So many B-52 stories! I am shocked. My story is that it was my first taste of alcohol ever, and the only reason I ordered it was in reference to my favorite band. And then I hated the coffee, so I was SIPPING from a shot glass for about ten minutes like a tool not really understanding what you DO with a shot, especially one you don’t LIKE.
I still voted for it, though. I want tonic to beat soda so badly.
Wow, I am stunned to realise how many times I opted for the old lady drink. Yeah, I like a Campari.
And even though I hate hate hate any cocktail with cream in it, I do enjoy a Kahlua and milk. Except this one time when I ordered it at some bowling club in the country and they made it with UHT long life milk. Serves me right for ordering it there, I guess
Amaretto Sours taste like acid reflux.
I’m pretty sure that the drink of choice in Moonstruck isn’t so much a Champagne cocktail minus the bitters as it is Asti Spumante with a sugar cube. And Asti’s already on the sweet side. Apparently this is something only Italians or hyphenated Italians do (Italian-Americans, Italian-Canadians, anyway) will do.
Not sure if this will even get read, as we are thirty comments in, but hey! Here it is anyway. I have to mount a defense for the Boilermaker/Depth Charge/Car Bomb because years ago, before marriage and mommyhood, when I was in my drinking prime, it was a favorite party trick of mine to slam an Irish Car Bomb faster than any guy at the bar. Fond memories…I just didn’t (and still don’t) look like the kind of girl who can beat you in a contest to down that drink. Challenged my husband one rowdy night not too long ago, and I’ve still got it! It’s a fun drink (really!) and if they make it right, it tastes like chocolate milk.
This concludes my reminiscing. Vote for the Car Bomb!!!
Ah, the number of guys I’ve dated who have asked me out after I kicked their asses at car bombs… It’s how the guy and I celebrate our anniversary every year.
Blood Mary FTW! I couldn’t even bring myself to look up “Slippery Nipple” on Google.
KTP: “I am a Bourbon girl and SoCo is the world’s most pathetic imitation of a real liquor.”
WORD.
That is all.
*previous comment @KTB, not “KTP.” Argh.
Amaretto Sours taste like acid reflux.
Word, Keckler. Word.
My sour of choice is the whiskey sour, which didn’t make it on to the brackets. Woe.
(Of course, I’m more likely than not to leave the ‘sour’ off all together nowadays, so my sorrow is not too great. Mmm … bourbon …)
Good note, Janie, because that sour should be on there. Stand by for a bracket edit…
I had to look up the recipe for a B-52, and now I wish I hadn’t. Oh, my God, why?
I have to vote against anything containing Amaretto. I love actual almonds, but absolutely cannot stomach anything “almond” flavored or scented. Gaaahhh. Amaretto makes me think of the many pound cakes and cake icings I have tasted which were ruined with “almond” extract.