TV Question Qorner: Smizenheimers
America’s Next Top Model. When did Mr. Jay become kind of rad?Or have I started identifying with my captors?Has Tyra herself become so unbearable to me that anyone who ever makes a shred of non-self-aggrandizing, non-smug sense seems like BFF material?
Do you think Mr. Jay doesn’t get to come to panel because he won’t play along with shit like “smize-ing,” but Miss Jay and Nigel will?Do you think that, years ago, the Jays flipped a coin to see who would have to pretend that Tyra’s dippy season themes and Soviet-quality costumes don’t suck an egg?”Heads, I win; tails, you have to sit with the other judges and pretend that when Tyra makes the same face twice in a row, there’s an instructive difference between the two”?
I miss She’s Got The Look.Kim Alexis is more natural on-camera, doesn’t suffer from pathological narcissism, and runs a sensible panel whose advice is logical and occasionally funny on purpose.But nobody watched that show except me and a few stoners who switched to TV Land expecting a Barney Miller rerun.Sigh.
Brothers & Sisters. I said at some point that I would give it two or three episodes to win me back over this season; then I heard that they’d cast Amy “Toni Pavone” Aquino, which annoyed me, because I love her and I’d have to stick with it.
But why did they have to stash her in a plotline I can already tell I will despise?Kitty is still treating Robert like he left a skidmark on their sheets, which I think the audience is supposed to support her in, and in theory, that’s fine, but in practice, she’s not sympathetic — the writing and the acting choices both make me want to slap her.Now we have to “worry” that she has cancer?The character has become utterly unlikeable in the last year, and we’ve seen this done much better — via Patricia Wettig’s Nancy on thirtysomething, among others.
And then in the first episode we have a “wacky” showdown between Holly and Nora; we have yet another makeup/breakup/”I love you but the world thinks I’m stupid” “crisis” in Rebecca and Justin’s relationship; we have a dated montage about Sarah’s internet-dating exploits; we have almost enough of Holly’s boobs to qualify the show for premium cable; and Kevin’s hair is simply unacceptable.
Doesn’t look good for this one, folks.
the forgotten. Or this one, a good idea on paper that’s drowning on camera in clichés and “Why are CSIs interrogating a suspect?” implausibilities.The victim voice-over adds nothing but unwarranted self-seriousness; Christian Slater is the only actor with enough charisma to carry the material (Anthony Carrigan, playing Tyler, is actually okay, if he can get out from under the exposition-device load he had to carry in the pilot); Slater’s character is an ex-cop, and I understand why that cheat was included initially, but it causes more problems than it solves and should have gotten the heave-ho after the show got picked up.
A few tweaks, and it’s a decent show, but it’s functionally a procedural, and it’s focusing on the parts of procedurals we’ve seen a thousand times before, which it doesn’t do well, instead of on the parts that set it apart from the others, which it could do well if it got some momentum going.And it’s not impossible; it does happen sometimes that a show snaps to, figures out what it wants to do, and learns how to do it while elegantly covering its flaws.Journeyman is one example.
But the writers’ room seems more interested in repurposing the soppier parts of Cold Case than in examining how a group of civilians would solve a case of this type — or in making said group of civilians less annoying.Don’t just barge up to these people and tell them their child is dead, dipshit.Pairing it with meaningful squinting doesn’t make it any more your beeswax.
The Good Wife. What’s with the sexism?It’s one thing when the show depicts the sexism and reductive attitudes of the world at large towards a woman in Alicia’s position — not that the show is doing the most elegant job with that, either, so far, but I can forgive it in a pilot.
But when the show’s female protagonist is dated in her gender attitudes toward herself?Alicia’s so-called gotcha line about “obviously you’ve never made a woman mad before” botched an excellent opportunity to make a few points about pre-judging the woman behind the famous/powerful man; instead, it went for a tired “hell hath no fury” tone.It’s antiquated, and worse, it’s uninteresting. Alicia correctly marking the office assistant as fed up with the parking-lot attendant, and exploiting that with some “oh, men” bonding?Interesting.Sharp.Alicia taking the same martyr angle with the state’s attorney, except for real?Bah.It felt like pandering to a certain segment of the demographic, and the segment is smarter than that Erma Bombeck, Attorney At Law nonsense.
Law & Order: SVU. Why does Mariska Hargitay lift her leg up like she’s in a cartoon every time she has to chase a perp?You know, how Wile E. Coyote will wind himself up with his leading leg before taking off after the Roadrunner?I keep expecting a puff of smoke to replace her onscreen every time she does that.
I shouldn’t harp on the Hargs, because she’s a palette of beige nuance compared with Christopher “Silent Movie” Meloni — and I can’t really harp on him, either.What is it, the tenth season?I don’t know what acting choices he’s got left at this point; at least he’s giving it 110 percent every week, and I feel like he has to know that he’s the subject of a Taking! It! Personally! drinking game and he’s having a little fun with it.
Not so Wentworth Miller.Either Wentworth Miller is actually really good at acting and just happens to have a kidney stone the size and shape of a throwing star every time the camera is pointed in his direction…or Wentworth Miller is not good at acting, and doesn’t really like doing it, either.I think he tries very hard and thinks about his lines a lot; he’s not half-assing it.But I spent his entire first scene waiting to find out that he was playing an actor in a movie within the show, because his Blue-Steeling had gotten even worse since Prison Break.I was kind of psyched about it, too, like, that’s awesome that he can have a little fun with himself.…Ohhhh, that’s…literally the character.Wow.
What to do with the guy?He’s got a lot of fans, he’s a hard worker…there has to be some kind of Keanu/action niche for him, right?
The Mentalist. I won’t even bother asking who else watches the show, because…no one else watches the show.Well, maybe that’s not true.I really only watch because Simon Baker is cute, so maybe it’s not just me who does that, and I didn’t know anyone watched NCIS, either — I thought it just kept JAG-ing along because even the net execs forgot it existed, but it’s practically the most popular show on CBS and it even got a spin-off.(Which looks really dumb.Is anyone watching that?I like LL Cool J a lot, but: no.)
In any case, what the hell is going on with Owain Yeoman?This isn’t a complaint, mind you — but during the season premiere, he’s standing off to the side of a group shot, and I thought, “Cute new agent, but why’d they get rid of Rigsby?Not that I particularly enjoyed the ‘sexual’ ‘tension’ between him and Van Pelt last season, but I figured the writers would follow it up with WAIT WAIT WAIT THAT FOX IS RIGSBY!”Lost a ton of weight, got a hipper haircut (…I guess; it’s trying too hard, but it’s cute), looks tohhhhh-tally different.
…I know, no one cares. As you were.
Tags: America's Next Top Model Amy Aquino Anthony Carrigan Barney Miller Brothers & Sisters Christian Slater Christopher Meloni Cold Case Erma Bombeck exposition fairies JAG Jay Manuel Journeyman Kim Alexis Law & Order: SVU looks like they've (the) forgotten the shift key Mariska Hargitay Miss Jay NCIS Nigel Barker Owain Yeoman Patricia Wettig Prison Break She's Got The Look shut up Tyra Simon Baker TAKING IT PERSONALLY The Good Wife The Mentalist TV Wentworth Miller
I care about The Mentalist! SO FUCKING PISSED that CBS doesn’t have full eps online, because HELLO you put your show in Thursday night, it’s gonna have competition, give us some alternate viewing opportunities!
ANYWAY, internet speculation about a drug-bender blind item turned up the following: apparently Owain Yeoman is vegan, and pressure to be the sex symbol of the show may have him working out A LOT more, ergo massive weight loss. Either that, or he’s totally the answer to this blind item: http://tinyurl.com/ybrxqyu
Brothers & Sisters. Everything you said (Seriously, Kevin’s hair?). I’ve got total Stockholm Syndrome with that damn show, but Amazing Race running over by 15 minutes didn’t upset me as much as it used to.
I am giving NCIS: LL Cool J (tm a friend) the good old college try, because: LL Cool J. An overabundance of attractive people. Linda Hunt and her awesome awesomeness.
But G’s backstory…apparently he was an orphan in Dickensian England? They didn’t tell him his name? Manpain is great. Bizarre melodrama is not.
Hopefully it just had a bad case of pilotitis and will improve.
I’m totally amazed you’re watching any of these shows! I hope you’re getting some sort of masochistic satisfaction out of it if nothing else.
On a related “I don’t think anyone watches NCIS” note, I unintentionally zinged one of my supervisors the other day- we switched a weekly public event at work from Tuesday evenings to Thursdays and it’s doing much better there, and most of our attendees are in their 60s and up. One person said, “Now it doesn’t conflict with Idol,” and then aforementioned supervisor said, “Yeah, and not with NCIS either.” And I looked at him genuinely puzzled and then said, “Oh, because old people watch that show?” And even with his cold stare in reply it didn’t occur to me for about 10 seconds that he would be one of those old people. And then the Idol person gave me a high five. Oops!
What, you didn’t watch Flash Forward? That shit was gooooood, I am hooked after only one episode. Haven’t said that since Lost.
Hey, I’m watching NCIS-LA (pronounced nic-us-la in our household). Linda Hunt is awesome, LL Cool J is good enough and Chris O’Donnel doesn’t suck too much. I think it has potential to be a fun buddy cop show.
When Miss Jay was like, “What the hell is smize?” and then Tyra explained it, and he went “Ooooh, lawd!” I laughed and laughed because he’s the only one who can get away with that shit. Then I’m like, how off the rails do you have to be when Miss Jay is your voice of reason?
@SarahW – completely agree re: Flash Forward. EXCELLENT premiere, and so far, totally living up to the hype. There is some scuttlebut around the ‘net that it might actually be linked to Lost, and not just because Penny & Charlie are on it. Apparently there was an Oceanic Airlines billboard in the first 10 minutes of the show, which I totally missed (obviously this is another show that does not allow for multi-tasking; must put the knitting away while it’s on). One theory is that this is an alternate timeline that happened when Ben turned the donkey wheel or when Juliet exploded the bomb at the end of last season, effectively “rebooting” time with a twist.
Tyra grates like the cheesiest cheese grater ever, but for some reason I keep tuning in every season.
I’m liking The Good Wife so far, but I tend to not get too hung up on the cinematic & acting choices. It’s all just fluffy mindless entertainment to me. Except Lost, which is like crack. Deep-fried crack with chocolate syrup.
I watch The Mentalist for the same reason as you, Sars – Simon Baker. Maria, I don’t understand why Yeoman would feel pressure to be the sex symbol of the show when Baker is doing such a fine job of it.
I think NCIS is the show everyone watches but no one talks about, like Sepinwall posted recently. I have to say I don’t make an effort to catch it on CBS but I see it on USA alot.
@Sheila – god that was a horrible part of the episode. I sat on the couch and cringed. Perhaps tonight will be better. Otherwise it’s got to go or at least become like csi:miami. Everybody needs a good dose of the sunglasses.
I’m trying NCIS LA tonight, having watched not minute one of the original, at the behest of my friend. It’s so not a show she would like, but she enjoyed it and I don’t watch anything else in the time slot so I figured I’d give it a shot.
I also watch The Mentalist, entirely because of Simon Baker and his cuteness. Ever since “Something New,†where I swapped myself in for Sanaa Lathan’s character (“I’m a black woman! I have an MBA! Let’s go hiking! CALL ME!â€), I have delighted in seeing him anywhere. And then Robin Tunney, who annoyed the SHIT out of me on Prison Break, didn’t get on my nerves, so that was another plus right there.
Re: Wentworth Miller on SVU, I watched Prison Break all the way through (shut up), and people kept talking about how much weight he’d gained, and I never really noticed. But I did notice it on SVU. His neck was sort of … fleshy.
And then Robin Tunney, who annoyed the SHIT out of me on Prison Break, didn’t get on my nerves, so that was another plus right there.
Me too! I was pleasantly surprised by that. I also like that the show isn’t trying to get the two of them together, although if it stays on long enough, I’m sure we can “look forward to” that tension developing. Blerf.
Now we have to “worry” that she has cancer? The character has become utterly unlikeable in the last year, and we’ve seen this done much better — via Patricia Wettig’s Nancy on thirtysomething, among others.
Dude, I know! I was just saying this VERY thing! Wettig’s presence on the show only underlines how unfortunate (or cynical) this choice by the writers is, particularly when the Holly Harper character is so markedly inferior. I love Sally Field just as much as anyone, but come on: there’s no way these two women are so completely wound into each other’s lives. The show feels jammed into a holding pattern that’s robbing the characters of any lingering shred of realism or even logic.
Was Kevin’s hair always so … woolly?
Can we get Wentworth Miller on a sitcom? He was hilarious on those two episodes of Popular
I love The Mentalist too. All for Simon Baker, although I do like most of the other characters as well. Thank goodness I never got into Brothers and Sisters, I can’t take anymore shows that disappoint me.
I did watch SVU just for Wentworth Miller the other day and he was a bit over serious or something. I don’t really have much of an opinion on acting choices other than “works” “doesn’t work”.
I can’t wait for the next episode of Flash Forward! Yay, new show.
I thought the beginning of SVU was a movie-within-a-show as well. And was very disappointed to find out it wasn’t and that I was supposed to take it seriously.
@Sheila – stop stealing my analogies! All that was missing was, “please sir, may I have another?”
Huh… it was my understanding that The Mentalist was hugely popular… but I don’t live in the US so wouldn’t know. Yeah, Simon Baker is totally hot but mostly I watch it ’cause I find it so amusing. That Lisbon really gets on my nerves though…
So while typing this I googled “mentalist ratings” and came up with this… yep, people watch it
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/29/the-mentalist-ratings-16-_n_139076.html
At age 26, I am one of the ‘old people’ who watches NCIS – love it :D
Actually, I caught it the first time on USA, and didn’t even know it was a CBS show until, like, a month ago.
Brothers & Sisters is probably unfixable at this point, which is really sad. They’d need to break up Rebecca and Justin, which leaves Emily VanCamp no purpose on the show. They need to quit having public fights every episode, which seems to be the only plot thread the writers can come up with. About the best thing I can say about the premiere was Ryan and Tommy weren’t there. Unfortunately, neither was Sarah, and presumably Ryan will be back.
The Good Wife-I find Julianna Margulies to be one of the most charisma free actresses in television. I just do not get it, so while I see your point about the hell-hath-no-fury moment, I wasn’t expecting any better. I’m watching for Christine Baranski and Josh Charles, and unfortunately it looks like they are doing their best with two dimensional characters and incompetent hairstylists who hate actors.
The Forgotten-bored me to tears, but then so does CSI. I just hate procedurals, so my opinion probably doesn’t count here. Know Christian Slater is desperate for a comeback vehicle, don’t think this has much more chance of being it than My Own Worst Enemy did.
Mr. Jay has been the cool factor for a while. The cool, orange creamsicle factor. *Sigh*
I ended up catching “The Good Wife” entirely because there was nothing else on and I didn’t feel like going to bed yet, and was so completely surprised at the casting, writing, and *performances* I allowed that stupid woman-scorned thing an easy pass. I have *never* liked Juliana Pretty Hair, and was stunned to be able to actually appreciate her talent. MY problem with the writing was a bit more generalized – the Mary Sue-ing of the lead was a little intense. But, again, pilot-itis. If they allow her to make some mistakes and be flawed in the future, the performance will redeem her for me (oddly enough, redeem her from the over-perfection the character suffers from in her first case). I even rather liked Noth; I’d forgotten he could ever act.
If Josh Charles and his hair, however, come up with a Hideous Cheese Incident, I may be forced to get some sleep.
I almost said I might be forced to discover Leno’s new offering. But realistically, I don’t think anything could cause that to happen. *Pleh*
I am a secret NCIS watcher; have been since the beginning. I miss Kate, have never really warmed to Ziva, and am hopeful for NCIS LA not to have the suck. I know now they’re establishing characters, so some of the backgrounders might need to be extra quirky, but I hope there’ll be a little more plot soon. Someone on another site said the show hired Linda Hunt for the same reason the original has David McCallum; a little gravitas, a little old school (they even made a joke once about what Ducky looked like in his youth and Gibbs replied “Ilya Kuryakin.” Hunt brings up whatever scene she’s in.
I also watched the Mentalist, but it’ll be harder now that it’s on Thurs eves instead of right after NCIS. Not that I have other shows on Thurs, I’m just not usually thinking about TV that night, now that CSI is cooling off.
I’ve never watched The Mentalist, but I watch its hilarious cousin, Psych. ever caught an episode? Corbin Bernsen rules and Dule Hill and James Roday are both adorable.
That’s it, now I’m officially an old person. I laughed and ignored’em when I started getting offers from AARP about a decade ago, but I can’t deny that I watch NCIS. Mostly I catch the reruns on USA because I’m a bit sleepy when the originals air on CBS: further evidence of encroaching age. And, to cap it off, I can reemeber watching Man From U.N.C.L.E. as a teenager because David McCallum was the hot foreigner. I like him a lot better as a Scot than as a Russian. But, the other guys on the team are cool too. Dunno about the new NCIS:LA yet, still trying to figure out if I like it or not. I have liked LLCoolJ’s work in the past, so I’ll give it a bit of time.
I’m another of the old fogeys who watch NCIS (33). As is my sister (24). When they were shooting at a building where my sister works she got to have her photo taken with Gibbs resulting in the squee heard round the world (she was all cool and nonchalant while actually there, the squeeing came later). I’m not yet enamored of the LA version, but I’m giving it a chance since it takes time to establish the characters.
I’m still with The Mentalist too.
I’m another one of those “old person” 28 year olds who watches NCIS religiously. I don’t care what age you are, Mark Harmon is a silver fox. Actually, I think all the dudes on that show are attractive, in different ways.
I did watch The Mentalist last year, mostly because I adored Yeoman in Kitchen Confidential, but the Thursday night jam-up is killing me. I work until 9pm, TV execs, cut me some slack!
I love The Mentalist! I actually like all of the characters quite a bit but Cho is my fav. Something about the dry, monotone voice and complete lack of facial expression cracks me up every time… LOVE him!
I actually liked the old Rigsby with a little more meat on him… But, have you seen the ad that he did for PETA?
Yowza!
Well, it’s nice to see that SVU is still a complete reality-free zone, full of complete but amusing crapola that even total slugs with no law or police background at all can tell is total shit.
Hey, Wentworth! Stop beating that crackhead! Now, take her daughter out for cheeseburgers, because you are the MAN TO BE TRUSTED with vulnerable minors! Aw, poor Wentworth. He’s basically a psycho murder sanctioned by the city, but it’s okay because he has a TRAGIC PAST. Never mind that said past is boring and cliched and just having him be Prime Grade Asshole would be more interesting to view and to play.
Hey, new DA! Feel free to (correctly) rip apart how we do our jobs, only to fall apart and say there’s absolutely nothing in the entire universe that can be done to free an innocent man from prison, never mind that the real perp made a taped confession before good ol’ Anger Issues Wentworth shoved him out a window!
Why do I keep coming back to the SVU pipe? Why? Because it’s soooo good.
I can’t believe B&S is still on the air, it’s such crap. There are talented actors working on it, but the writing is garbage. They’ve half-assed their way through a bunch of plots, rarely make sense, and seem to be bent on making the characters unlikeable creeps. A waste, because it started well.
Sars, you’re right about the forgotten. It’s just…not good. The dialogue is overwrought and the cast (with the exception of Slater) isn’t up to making it work. This one will be gone around midseason at best, and it will not be missed.
I haven’t watched TGW yet, because the premise bores me. It’s nice to see Josh Charles getting work, though.
NCIS watcher! I know I don’t qualify as old since I only just won the right to purchase my own booze! I love it, it’s so funny and over the top. Natalie is so right, the male cast is attractive, particularly the silver fox. I want to pinch Jimmy and McGee’s adorable little cheeks.
Ack! “Smizing” has me seriously thinking about giving up on ANTM. Now I know for sure that Miss Jay thinks Tyra is craaazy. And Mr. Jay looked like he wanted to gag every time he said it.
I also watch NCIS, but only the reruns on USA. I love Gibbs, and like Lucinda, I want to pinch Jimmy’s and McGee’s cheeks. My biggest thrill is when seeing Gibbs smack Tony on the back of the head. (I hate Tony.)
Sarah, you nailed it re: The Forgotten. I ‘m a big fan of procedurals, but I’ve never seen a more charisma-free cast or a more boring murder mystery. Actually, I do like that heavy-set actor who I’ve seen in a gazillion different things. I think he was in the cast of Grace Under Fire. Other than that, geez. Who cares?
I’d love to see Slater in something… oh, I don’t know. Interesting, maybe.
Oooh, 6PM. It’s time for an NCIS rerun.
Because of you, I just spent $4.99 and several hours of my life watching the first season of Shes Got The Look. It was actually pretty good. In fact, it was good enough that I then spent $10.99 to buy season 2.
I’ll be matching that cash into your contest sometime tomorrow.
Owain Yeoman has a regular job? Good for him, I thought he was great in Generation Kill. Since Psych often (yet good-naturedly) points out that The Mentalist ripped off their whole premise, I can’t watch it. I love Psych.
Sars, I think this is the first time you’ve ever mentioned a show I watch, and I LOVE me some television. It was L&O:SVU by the way. So hooray!
I love NCIS at my old fogey age of 26. Abby is made of awesome.
So far my sister and I have spent the entirety of NCIS:LL Cool J (tm Sheila’s friend) IMing about how in love Sam (LL Cool J) and G (Chris O’Donnell) are.
I refuse to watch The Mentalist because it’s a serious version of Psych without Gus. I would watch a serious version of Psych. But not without Gus.
Yeah, it’s October 6 and I’m replying in this comment thread and no one’s ever going to see it because I’m way behind on my TN reading. Jealous? /Amy Poehler
Perhaps my favorite thing that happens on SVU these days is the Meloni/Hargitay Reaction Shot. There’s some kind of crazy shit going down with guest stars, who may or may not be on the fast track to a guest Emmy, and some kind of something is being revealed and it’s all very EMOTIONAL! and CLIMACTIC! And like five minutes in they cut to Meloni and/or Hargitay, who’ve been in the background of the scene but not on camera for a while, and they’re making the “WHAT THE WHAT???!!?!!?!1!” face. I just love that. And it seems they’ve really, really honed it over the years. Often it’s overlaid with disgust, especially in his case. This never fails to crack me up.
Yes, I also thought Wentworth Miller was in a TV show. That was bad. Still, though, unless a monkey is in a basketball or a rapper is being eaten by a hyena, it could always be worse.
I have a theory that Mr. Jay is trying to have a semi-legitimate career in fashion (you know, if being an E! commentator counts as legitimate) and it’s dawned on him that being too closely affiliated with Tyra and her ever-increasing kookiness is going to hinder more than help in that area. Either that or she hates him or something (possibly because he won’t play along with the kookiness). They don’t ever seem to interact anymore. I also wish Miss Jay would resist the temptation to ham up every single word that ever comes out of his mouth, because he’s actually really good at giving runway advice and in showing the girls what they’re doing wrong. But because he can’t resist it, he’s fairly useless.