Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: December 16, 2009
December 16, 2009 · 94 Comments

Hey Sars,
So, I’m not going to bore you with the same “my cat pees out of the litterbox” question.He had urinary stones, they’ve been dealt with, he still pees inappropriately.I deal with it.Here’s my question …

21 Jump Street: “My Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades”
December 15, 2009 · 20 Comments
<I>21 Jump Street</I>: “My Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades”

(Note: Today’s episode of Shut Up, Penhall has been rescheduled for a later date.Please enjoy this airing of Shut Up, Hanson instead.)
Drink for that episode title. What ever happened to Timbuk3, anyway?
The door of a …

Control
December 14, 2009 · 8 Comments
<I>Control</I>

Don’t let the big names fool you: Control is a B movie. Accepted on B-movie terms, it’s quite good, in the sense that it is often bad, but has the internal wisdom to keep things …

21 Jump Street: “Don’t Pet The Teacher”
December 11, 2009 · 8 Comments
<I>21 Jump Street</I>: “Don’t Pet The Teacher”

“Shut Up, Penhall” Count: 1 0! It’s a Christmas miracle!
Nighttime at a high school whose physical plant is modeled after the Taj Mahal. A synthesizer plinks disapprovingly as a mysterious hand pink-spray-paints the phrase “Weintraub …

The Vine: December 11, 2009
December 11, 2009 · 50 Comments

Hi, Sars:
I have two adorable longish-haired cats and they shed.A lot.Even with daily sweeping, cat hair tumbleweeds go a-tumblin’ by on a daily basis, and every pair of yoga pants I own look as if …

The Vine: December 9, 2009
December 9, 2009 · 59 Comments

The Ask The Readers Holiday Gift Jam continues!At a loss/not feeling it this year?Let the TN readers help!
*****
Hey Sars,
I need some help from the readership.I need some new nightgowns for Christmas and I’d like to …

Posters and vampires
December 8, 2009 · 9 Comments
Posters and vampires

From Andy Ihnatko’s Celestial Waste of Bandwidth:
Morrison was immortalized first by death at 27 and then by three generations of college kids who needed a poster to cover up a creepy-looking stain in their dorm …

The Seventh Seal
December 8, 2009 · 8 Comments
<I>The Seventh Seal</I>

The Seventh Seal broke ground in its own time, no doubt, but to a present-day viewer it’s pretty obvious stuff.Watching it, I kept thinking of Eddie’s dismissive line in Diner: “I went to Atlantic City …

Contest: Looking Ahead
December 7, 2009 · 45 Comments
Contest: Looking Ahead

The Atlantic City trip
For a variety of reasons, I’ve postponed this until early next year.   I’ll give you plenty of notice, but the tomato won’t head to AC until at least Martin Luther King …

The Vine: December 4, 2009
December 4, 2009 · 80 Comments

Keep those holiday-themed Ask The Reader requests coming, folks — ’tis the season to suffer giver’s block, so let your fellow TNeers help out.
*****
Dear Sars,
I have a dilemma and I’m hoping Vine readers might be …