“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.
From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.
Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.
Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.
The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!
71K plus, folks! Awesome work. I credit Nikolai. (hee. Really, I credit you.)
Ten-odd days to go; four thousand until we hit the match. Haven’t donated yet? Now’s the perfect …
Nikolai: “Rrr.”
Hobey: “…”
Nikolai: “Rrrrrrrr.”
Hobey: “…”
Nikolai: “…Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
Hobey: “…”
five minutes later, from under couch
Hobey: “…Rrrrrrrrrrrr rrr rrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrr rrrr, rrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrr RRRR RRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! RRR!!!!1!“
Sarah: “Good one.”
*****
Nikolai: “Rrrrrrrrr.”
Little Joe: “Ggggglllhh.”
Sarah: “HA HA HA HA …
As of this writing, $69,702.
Please draw the appropriate parallel between this nauseatingly cute photo of Hobeshka and Josef and my warm fuzzy feelings for all of you. (Note: parallel should not contain humping.)
“In Soviet Russia, cat adopt you, okehhhhh?”
Niko is coming home to my apartment this afternoon. This is not going to make me very popular with the ranking felines, but the kind woman at Feline …
No, not that cat. Or that other fat cat.
This cat, to the right here.
Some [epithet] left this cat in a carrier on 9th Street in Park Slope on Friday and didn’t come back for …
A hair away from 67K at this writing. Don’t forget: at 75K, a match kicks in automatically. You know the “Double Your Impact” notices you may have seen on certain projects? The …
Hi, Sars —
I need to find out if I’m making something from my childhood up (as my brother claims) or if it really happened, and I haven’t had much luck finding supporting facts online.
Here’s what …
From a teacher:
Dear Sars,
Today I walked into my classroom at East Valley High School. Iwas still missing a desk, which means I have two students, A and R,who are squished at one. The floor still …
O happy day: Kenley didn’t win, and we’ve hit $60,000! $60,570 at this writing, actually.
That is some excellent work right there, my friends. Thank you all so much. And extra-special tangoing-tomato thanks to …
Hi Sars,
This one is short and sweet. What do you think of housewarming registries? Useful or tacky? I’d never heard of them until recently, when I saw someone announce on their blog that they were …