Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: January 13, 2006
January 13, 2006 · No Comment

Dearest Sars,
To make a long story as short as I can, I have a Boy Problem. No, not THAT kind of boy problem. The Problem Boy is a friend of a very dear friend of …

The Vine: January 12, 2006
January 12, 2006 · No Comment

Dear Sars —
I’ve tried to write this question a gazillion times to make it sound less stupid than it does, but I can’t. So, here goes. I work in a small office — a few …

The Vine: January 11, 2006
January 11, 2006 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I work with this girl at my college in a part-time job. She eventually was hired full-time at another place of business, but still decided to work weekends at the college. She lives quite …

The Vine: January 10, 2006
January 10, 2006 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
This story involves a Boy — but, happily, Boy is not
the problem. Mom is the problem. Fasten your seatbelt;
this will be a long one.
Boy and I met in April ’03 and got serious fairly
early; …

Plan B
January 9, 2006 · No Comment

I don’t run a weekly TV series, much less a weekly TV series whose fantasy/horror premise requires a good deal of stunt work and special effects, which spun off from another series whose canon is …

The Vine: January 6, 2006
January 6, 2006 · No Comment

Sarah:
Pork’s still a red meat; pork just has better advertisers.
That ad campaign you mentioned wasn’t based on any scientific study; instead, it was based on the fact that red meat, before Atkins, was labeled “bad” …

The Vine: January 5, 2006
January 5, 2006 · No Comment

Great Baseball Goddess Sars,Tell me, O Wise One, why is it that during the regular season, some games do not go the whole nine innings? I tried Googling this AND asking Jeeves, but I wasn’t …

The Vine: January 4, 2006
January 4, 2006 · No Comment

Dear Grammar Goddess,I recently heard someone use the phrase “endless ago,” in the sentence “I
wanted it endless ago.” I guessed that the sentence meant either “I’ve
wanted it for a very long time,” or possibly “I …

The Vine: January 3, 2006
January 3, 2006 · No Comment

Howdy Neighbor,Great site! I need your sage advice. I recently got
back together with my ex-girlfriend, Ellen. We
haven’t had sex yet, but it’s happening soon, and I’m
confused about something.
Previously, Ellen and I dated for a year. …

The Vine: December 16, 2005
December 16, 2005 · No Comment

Sars,
I was married the May before last. As my wife and I
are both atheist,
it was a wholly secular wedding. My very religious
parents did not
approve — to the point where they refused to attend.
We pleaded,
cajoled, and …