“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.
From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.
Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.
Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.
The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!
Sars,
I really enjoy reading The Vine both for the great advice and your ability to cut a problem down to its root cause.That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do with a certain issue in …
Dear Sars —
Stumbled across your site last week, and I really like your humor and advice.I’m in a rather unique but frustrating situation and I don’t know what to do — I’d appreciate your opinion.
I’m …
Hi, Sars. I’m a longtime reader of your site and love everything on it, especially the GBC. Hee.
Anyway, my friend has this cat. It’s not what you’re thinking. Both the friend and the cat are …
At three-ish the next day, Lionel dialed the wall phone.
“Tell Marie she needs to come over,” Miranda said, and Lionel nodded. “Tell Marie to tell Diz –”
“Hey, Marie, it’s Lionel,” and he waved his arm …
Sars,
You might direct Cute towards Torrid.com or Hot Topic — or other stores that cater to the “freaky” teen demographic. They quite often carry adult sizes of kiddie-type clothes/shoes. Also, Payless has some cute pink …
Dear Sars,
I’m a twenty-year-old male living in the American midwest with my father…and as much as living with him sucks sometimes and I hope to one day strike out on my own and eventually get …
Dear Sars, who cares (ho, ho, ho),
I am, apparently, the jealous type. I’ve been in my relationship for almost three years, but I still have crazy, wrenching little flashes of jealousy over crazy, mundane little …
Dear Sars,
I recently moved into an apartment at school with three good friends from the
past couple of years.We have all gotten along well in the past, but yet are
very different.
One big difference between me and …
One Sunday afternoon, years ago, Miranda took Oppenheimer II out for a walk. A big thunderstorm had just passed through, and at each intersection, while Oppenheimer II sniffed around, Miranda eyed the storm drains to …
Dear Sarah,
I was reading some of the archives today and came across the entry about the difference between “flammable” and “inflammable.”
Before some time in the 1950s, lighter fluid, gasoline trucks, cleaning fluid, and the like …