Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: April 21, 2005
April 21, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have only the highest admiration for you, truly. Which opening
sentence, of course, will alert you to the fact that I’m about to
disagree vehemently with something you’ve said and probably insult you
somewhere along the …

The Vine: April 20, 2005
April 20, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Here’s the situation. My cousin and I are the same age, 19, and go to the same college, where we are both sophomores. We live one dorm away from each other and share the …

The Vine: April 19, 2005
April 19, 2005 · No Comment

Its disingenuous to say its racists when the rich-brat correctly sees the connection between the word conversate and black people.
Even if you yourself have used the word, the majority of time I have seen that …

Ronco Dependent
April 18, 2005 · 2 Comments

I recently got cable hooked up in my home office, which is both a huge productivity drain and completely awesome, as I can now watch unlimited Cops reruns and classic Family Feuds while I work …

The Vine: April 14, 2005
April 14, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars:
At age 30, I suddenly find myself horny as hell, single as can be, and having constant sexual fantasies about a man I had my one and only one-night stand with about nine months …

The Vine: April 13, 2005
April 13, 2005 · No Comment

Sorry to bother, but you are the only person I know of who a) owns cats
and b) live(d) in the city. I have a new cat (who I love), an
apartment in a city and, as …

The Vine: April 12, 2005
April 12, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
Am I crazy? Paranoid? I really don’t know. I need some objective input.
My husband of five years is a wonderful guy, and we have a great relationship. I know he would not cheat on …

Grieco Is Burning
April 11, 2005 · No Comment

How often do you end up talking about Richard Grieco three times in the space of a week? Not that often — fortunately — but please, dear readers, allow me to give you a short …

The Vine: April 8, 2005
April 8, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
There’s a guy in my class at school — I’m the
equivalent of a senior — who I’ll call Bob. We’re in a lot of classes
together, and up until maybe two years ago I didn’t …

The Vine: April 7, 2005
April 7, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
My problem is my life. I am 23 years old and just finished a post-graduate
teaching qualification. I don’t have a job yet but plan on doing supply
until the right one (when a school says …