Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: October 26, 2004
October 26, 2004 · No Comment

And now, BSD on The Curse…

Dear Cupped Candles,
“The Curse.”Ahhhh, two words I hope to never hear again by the end of this weekend.As to what it is, there’s really no official definition to what it.I …

The Subheroes Chapter 9: Right Direction
October 25, 2004 · No Comment

Shelley comes out into the front office, glances into the cabinet, and snaps her fingers lightly. Olivia: “[Eyebrows?]” Shelley: “[Head flick.]” Olivia gets up and follows Shelley into the back office. She looks over her …

The Vine: October 24, 2004
October 24, 2004 · No Comment

Hello! I love your writing, both on TN and The Vine — I’ve even gotten my
mom hooked on your essays.
I have a handful of comments and a couple of questions, all of which are
more-or-less related …

The Vine: October 23, 2004
October 23, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I’m a big fan of all your sites, and I also really agree with your stance that it’s okay for fans of other teams to berate Yankees fans, but the other direction is not …

The Vine: October 22, 2004
October 22, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars —
Sorry about the loss.I have to admit that even as I celebrated like
a crazy person last night, I thought to myself, “Aw.Sars.”
Here’s my question for Bill Simmons’s Dad (or for you, if you …

The Vine: October 21, 2004
October 21, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
A couple of things:
1. As a Red Sox fan, I can say honestly that I know how it feels right now.All I know is that if the Yankees weren’t such a good team, …

The Vine: October 20, 2004
October 20, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
So how ’bout that security last night at Yank-me Stadium???
Love always,
Bill Simmons’s Dad

Dear BSD,
I would like to apologize to you on behalf of Yankee fans, New Yorkers, and humanity for last night’s total horror …

The Vine: October 19, 2004
October 19, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Bill Simmons’s Dad,
Do Boston fans really think they’re that bad off? I mean, even aside
from the easy examples like the Cubs and the White Sox (who have gone
even longer since they won a World …

Vote, You Crazy Diamonds
October 18, 2004 · One Comment

So, I’ve avoided writing about the upcoming election, because I don’t know that I have anything all that compelling to add to what you’ve probably read elsewhere, and also, Ctrl-V-ing the word “arrrrrrgh” sixty-six thousand …

The Vine: October 15, 2004
October 15, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Another Braves fan here, wanting to chime in on what you said to
“Frustrated in Atlanta.”First of all, Mazzone always rocks like
that.
As for why we shriveled up and died in the division series yet again:
first …