“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.
From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.
Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.
Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.
The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!
Dear Deborah,
Ever since reading your article, “Ten Things Everyone Should Know About Islam” at hissyfit.com several years ago, I have had in mind to learn more about this religion and its practitioners. At this point, …
Dear Deborah,
A few years ago, we inherited two couches. There’s an antique love seat that my mom let her bulldog use as a dog bed, until the dog got too fat to make the three …
Okay, the no-carb thing has got to go. Seriously. The weight-loss culture in its toxic and dangerous entirety has got to go, actually, but I’ll get to that in a second; first, I’ve got to …
Dear Sars,
Okay. Problem.
First, the relationship: Boy, age 19, and I, age 18, have been friends for a long time, realized that we had feelings for each other during the summer, and then went off to …
Hmmm. How do I start? Anyway, I’ve always considered myself as pretty much a level-headed, cheerful and friendly person. But lately the pressure (for lack of a better word) of being nice and “trying to …
Dear Sars,
Why are Jesus and Moses the only two exceptions to the apostrophe-S rule? Does God just love them more than everybody else?
Lauren
Dear Lauren,
Garner states that this exception is made for all Biblical and classical …
Strictly speaking, this isn’t my problem, but I’m a little more involved than I’d like to be, and I’d just like to have your refreshingly bullshit-free take on what my responsibilities are here. It’s quite …
Diz frowns. “Do you think we need The Nose?”
“I think we might need The Nose, and I think better safe than sorry.”
“Sure, but if we don’t end up using her and she has to” — …
Hi Sars,
Your advice to Missed Courtship 101 was spot-on as usual, but I just wanted to add that he should relax — a lot of girls dig that kind of bumbling and clueless, yet cute …
Dear Sars,
Next semester, I will officially be certified to teach high school English in a Large Southern State with one star on the flag. The Large Southern State legislature recently passed a law requiring all …