Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: May 12, 2004
May 12, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I just wanted to query you and the Etiquette Anthropologist
on how far the rudeness goes.
You see, I don’t drink coffee, because I don’t like it.
There is also a list of fairly innocuous (to the …

The Vine: May 11, 2004
May 11, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
My problem deals with my two closest friends,
“Ashley” and “Sam.”Ashley has always been a loner,
quiet and distant.As far as I know, Ashley started
cutting her arms last year.I honestly didn’t (and
don’t) think that she would …

Booze You Can Use
May 10, 2004 · No Comment

When the booze companies tell you to drink responsibly, what they really mean is “don’t drink and drive, and especially don’t drink and drive and then sue us if you wind up with no legs, …

The Vine: May 7, 2004
May 7, 2004 · No Comment

Sars,
The site rocks.Rocks, I say!Ahem…
So, this question has to do with what seems like two favorite topics of
yours — baseball, and grammar (there might also be some cat stuff thrown in
if I decide to be …

The Vine: May 6, 2004
May 6, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have been reading TN for a while now, and although I’m pretty new to The Vine, what I have read so far seems like great advice so I thought I’d ask you what …

The Vine: May 5, 2004
May 5, 2004 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
My situation can’t be that unique. I grew up in a very Christian family…we went to church two times a week minimum. I’ve continued to go pretty regularly — not because I’m at all …

The Vine: May 4, 2004
May 4, 2004 · No Comment

Hey, Sars.
This problem is very high school, which annoys the fuck out of me as I’ve long since left that hell behind, but here goes.I have a very close guy friend — let’s say, “Mark.”I …

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 23: Stephanie Anne Shipley
May 3, 2004 · No Comment

[Stevie walks forward from the back of the stage. She has a straw cowboy hat pulled down low on her head, leaving only her mouth and chin visible. She is singing Schumann’s “Traumerei.”
Just before the …

The Vine: April 30, 2004
April 30, 2004 · One Comment

Dear Sars,
I love reading The Vine. I have a grammar question for you. In the following examples, which are correct and why? A. I enjoy working with students heartily.
B. I heartily enjoy working with students.
C. …

The Vine: April 29, 2005
April 29, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars, dispenser of wisdom,
I have a mini problem concerning two of my close friends, “Alexandra” and “Nicole.” We like to say that we share a brain, and that we’re really too much alike for …