Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: April 29, 2005
April 29, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars, dispenser of wisdom,
I have a mini problem concerning two of my close friends, “Alexandra” and “Nicole.” We like to say that we share a brain, and that we’re really too much alike for …

The Vine: April 29, 2004
April 29, 2004 · One Comment

This is in response question about speech patterns from Wednesday, 4/28/04.
I took a linguistics class last semester and learned about glottal stop and dialects and vernaculars. All that good stuff.
There were some disagreements about lazy …

The Vine: April 28, 2004
April 28, 2004 · No Comment

Sars:
Hi! I’m a long-time reader, first-time writer. I really enjoy the site.
My friend, Faith, and I were imitating/mocking speech patterns. We were
wondering what to properly call the following affliction:
When J. Lo was presenting at the …

The Vine: April 27, 2004
April 27, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
There’s a relationship
issue I’ve been struggling with for awhile that I’d love to hear your
opinion on. It’s a little bit convoluted (what relationship issue isn’t, I
suppose), but here goes.
I’ve been in an (almost) two-year …

Drive Time
April 26, 2004 · No Comment

You know that expression about how every happy family is the same, but every un-happy family is unhappy in its own way? I think it’s from Anna Karenina. Anyway, I have a number of theories …

The Vine: April 23, 2004
April 23, 2004 · No Comment

This is probably a long-winded explanation before a fairly simple question, but here goes.
I’ve been in college for what feels like forever. When I started out, I was convinced I wanted to study engineering, so …

The Vine: April 22, 2004
April 22, 2004 · No Comment

Sars, help me out. It is, of course, a boy problem.
I’m a freshman in college, and I’ve been writing Buffy fanfic since I
was twelve. He’s a sophomore, and vice-president of the anime club.
Halloween night, I …

The Vine: April 21, 2004
April 21, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Hey there, I’m hoping maybe you can help me with a wee problem I’m having.
I’m 21, and in my final year of university. Last year I moved off-campus into a shared house (our university …

The Vine: April 20, 2004
April 20, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I’ve a family problem that is really nagging me. A
little history first.
I am an only child of elderly parents, and going to
school for the arts at the most prestigious college in
my state. Frankly, I’m …

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 22: Minerva Jane Dominski
April 19, 2004 · No Comment

[hums]
I played it on the piano, I played it for my father, after supper. It was a trick to get the pedaling right, the notes ran together if I wasn’t quick at it, but I …