Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 1c: Mary Katherine Tomiczek
March 1, 2004 · No Comment

My grandfather had an expression he used to use, he used to take us into town on Saturdays and let us pick out candy while he got his papers and tobacco, and when we took …

The Vine: February 27, 2004
February 27, 2004 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I have a grammar question for you, and one that I
thought was
particularly
appropriate since you also read Vanity Fair.
I’m a
bit of a newbie to
VF.
My roommate just got a subscription, and it’s like
crack — I cannot …

The Vine: February 26, 2004
February 26, 2004 · No Comment

Hi there,
I have obtained a cat as part of a package deal — he came with the
girlfriend. Said feline was very much an outdoor cat, hunting down and
killing all sorts of things, in spite of …

The Vine: February 24, 2004
February 24, 2004 · No Comment

Sars,
I am concerned about my cat, Dinah. She is five years old, very intelligent
and, up until a year ago, very sweet. Ours has always been a multi-cat
household and, although Dinah has never really been friends …

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 1b: Resurrection Mary
February 23, 2004 · No Comment

It’s a much different world now from when I started out. I don’t envy the ones who came after me. In my day, hitchhiking wasn’t how everyone thinks of it now — nobody thought it …

The Vine: February 20, 2004
February 20, 2004 · No Comment

Hi, Sars —
In response to Linsay, whose cat is licking all her fur off — my cat
Splinky had a compulsive licking problem also, to the point that she
licked the fur off her feet, and then …

The Vine: February 19, 2004
February 19, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
The letter about Latin plurals reminded me of an excellent article posted
recently on the website The Straight Dope. It gives a detailed
overview of English words that have been borrowed from Latin and how to
make …

The Vine: February 18, 2004
February 18, 2004 · No Comment

Hey Sars —
I have this issue that’s been rearing its ugly head for about three
years now. I have a pretty tightly intertwined group of friends who’ve all
been hanging out together since college — ’bout six …

The Vine: February 17, 2004
February 17, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
My flatmate, B, has been unemployed and desperately
looking for a job for what seems like forever. He has
recently applied for a job and is extremely excited by
it. I, on the other hand, have a …

No Sleep Till Brooklyn
February 16, 2004 · No Comment

I used to live in New York City
Everything there was dark and dirty
Outside my window was a steeple
With a clock that always said twelve-thirty
— The Mamas and the Papas, “Twelve-Thirty (Young Girls Are Coming To …