“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.
From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.
Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.
Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.
The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!
Sarah: Mflt.
Couch Baron: Oh, uh…hello?
Sarah: Hpll nn jfft mr spcffft.
Couch Baron: I…think I might have the wrong number.
Sarah: NNMRRRFFFF!
Couch Baron: …Sarah?
Sarah: Mmm hmm.
Couch Baron: Uh…are you…okay?
Sarah: Mmm…hmm!
Couch Baron: Okay, so…the hell?
Sarah: Frrrk, sfff hrrk kfffrrpp …
Sars,
I met a girl last July named Susan.A mutual friend of ours, Allison,
thought we would be good together and set us up.The first date was a
double-date with me and Sue, Allison, and her boyfriend.It went …
Hi Sars,
As I read the letter from Frigid, I kept wondering if I’d somehow written
this letter myself in my sleep or something — I have the exact same problem.
Anyway, I thought I’d pass on that …
Hey Sars —
This may seem too explicitly a “sex” question at
first, but it ends up being more of a mental and
relational problem.
I don’t love sex.I don’t dislike it, per se, but
it doesn’t have the impact …
Dear Sars,
When you identify more with characters in Buñuel films
than with the cast of The Real World, you just might
have a problem. So here it is, and hopefully you can
help: I have real issues with …
I never remember, on the way to Penn Station, how much I love taking the train. On the way to Penn Station, I have to concentrate very hard on other things, things like not running …
Dear Sarah,
I know this is a silly question. It’s usually pretty common sense, and a normal person who is not a slob would be able to deal with this. My apartment is overridden with gnats. …
Dear Sars,
I’m fairly young, and a few months ago, I scored what I thought was the
perfect job.A lot of responsibility, really interesting, and something I
thought I’d be able to do very well. Getting a job …
My husband lost his computer programming job a few months ago, and the IT industry here is very depressed.We expect that he’ll be unemployed for several months or longer.I’m currently employed and my job is …
Sars —
Never thought I’d be writing you, but I have a bit of a problem and I’m kind
of in need of somebody to play Switzerland for me.
About nine years ago, I developed an extremely close …