Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: August 29, 2002
August 29, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I’ve got a question that I’d like to hear your answer to. Yesterday was my birthday, and Grandma sent me a china Lenox clock. This is the third time she’s given me a piece …

The Vine: August 28, 2002
August 28, 2002 · No Comment

Hey Sars —
I wanted to throw some more feedback towards Hopefully Not Doomed To Attend
A Community College.
You say your academics are great and that you have a few
activities on your CV, so listen to Sars …

The Vine: August 27, 2002
August 27, 2002 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
First of all I love your site and read it faithfully. Secondly, after reading what “Blatant Hacker With A Dash Of Psycho” wrote, I really had to write because I’ve been going through almost …

It’s Not Maybelline
August 26, 2002 · No Comment

Before I got sidetracked last week, I’d started saying…what had I started saying? Oh, yeah, that I lack a chromosome critical to the proper application of make-up. I do, however, possess the chromosome that attracts …

48 Vines In 48 Hours
August 26, 2002 · No Comment

Forty-Eight
 
Dear Sars,
I’m one of those girls who always thinks guys are not interested. It’s a baffling self-esteem problem, because it probably shouldn’t exist — I’m not model material, but I’m relatively bright and attractive, and …

The Vine: August 24, 2002
August 24, 2002 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
First of all I love your site and read it faithfully. Secondly, after reading what “Blatant Hacker With A Dash Of Psycho” wrote, I really had to write because I’ve been going through almost …

The Vine: August 23, 2002
August 23, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I often agree with your advice, but I’ll have to take a pass on what you wrote Yo-Yo.
Before she throws in the towel for good and goes through something as traumatic as a divorce, …

Spy Kids
August 22, 2002 · No Comment

After my last essay, a few of you might wonder why I’ve chosen to write about kids not once but twice in one week when 1) I don’t have any and 2) I don’t particularly …

The Vine: August 21, 2002
August 21, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I am a very lucky girl and I know I have far fewer problems than the people who normally ask for advice, but I have a decision to make and I don’t know what …

Selective Memory
August 20, 2002 · No Comment

I hope, one of these days, when the Human Genome Project has finished the important work of isolating the genes that cause breast cancer and heart disease and birth defects and whatnot, and perhaps treated …