Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: June 4, 2002
June 4, 2002 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
This is for I Don’t Need A Man To Be Happy, But One Would Sure Be Nice.
I know exactly what you’re going through. I’m 21, a senior in college, and I’ve only recently met …

The Aging Process
June 3, 2002 · No Comment

When my alarm went off today, I opened my eyes one at a time, very carefully. So far, no pain. I eased up onto one elbow and waited for a hobnailed boot to slam into …

The Vine: May 31, 2002
May 31, 2002 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
Okay, so here’s my situation: I’m a college sophomore, and I like to think that I am intelligent, at least marginally funny, and fun to be around. I have a pretty large circle of …

The Vine: May 30, 2002
May 30, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars —
Since I think your advice is pretty grand, I thought I’d pose you my little dilemma. When I was a first year at my university, I became friends with a group of …

The Vine: May 29, 2002
May 29, 2002 · No Comment

I have been serious with the most wonder-ific guy since last July.I knew from the start that he was divorced and had a little girl.We took things concerning her slowly, i.e. when I met …

The Vine: May 28, 2002
May 28, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars:
I have been close to where Drowning is currently (with the exception of the infidelity) and you published my letter last July in The Vine.I wanted to let Drowning know that her marriage …

Seventeen Coronas With Lime
May 27, 2002 · No Comment

Corona #1
It’s the end of a long week, it’s hot, I just put on deodorant and my armpits have chosen to take that as a challenge, and these goddamn Old Navy cuffed capris don’t have …

The Vine: May 24, 2002
May 24, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars:
I’ve never done anything like this before, but have been visiting your site since last summer and would like to get your take on this. Can’t really talk to friends or family about …

The Vine: May 23, 2002
May 23, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
From what I’ve read of your writing, we seem to share the same opinions on lots of things, so I thought I’d ask your advice on a situation that I’ve gotten myself stuck …

The Vine: May 22, 2002
May 22, 2002 · No Comment

Hi. I’m writing for brainstorming more than advice. I just graduated from college and need to send a thank-you gift.
For the last four years, my very wealthy (multi-millionaire) and childless aunt and uncle have …