Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: November 29, 2000
November 29, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I know I probably know the answer to this question, but I figured I might as well explain the situation to you anyway, just for the hell of it.
I am close with my older …

The Vine: November 28, 2000
November 28, 2000 · No Comment

Hello Sarah!
You are probably sick of hearing about Canadian border stories, but here’s one more if you are still interested…
I lived in Niagara Falls, NY for a while and never experienced problems crossing over or …

The Vine: November 27, 2000
November 27, 2000 · No Comment

Hi, Sarah.
I’ve been reading your site for quite a while, and enjoy your writing very much.
You wrote: “The customs authorities want something, anything that proves that you have a permanent address in the States. That’s …

The Vine: November 22, 2000
November 22, 2000 · No Comment

Sarah,
The girl who wrote the vine signed “Confused, not desperate” may be dealing with someone with a neurological disorder. Sounds like the guy is either High Function Autistic or has Asperger’s Syndrome. They are both …

The Vine: November 21, 2000
November 21, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
There is a socially retarded genius who works upstairs from me, and we have become friends over the last eight months or so.We’ve had an odd friendship which has involved him (for no apparent …

The Vine: November 20, 2000
November 20, 2000 · No Comment

Hey Sarah,
I’m “Waiting’s” girlfriend. The plot is a tad bit thicker than my girlfriend may have led you to believe. It isn’t as simple as just having her birth certificate with her…that wouldn’t help. She …

The Canon According To Tomato Nation, Part Four
November 19, 2000 · No Comment

It’s Monday again. I had a houseguest over the weekend, and while the houseguest rocked my world, the pile of work which I ignored in favor of houseguest fun times did not, and I have …

Dear Hammurabi: Help.
November 19, 2000 · No Comment

The universe has its laws. Conservation of energy, conservation of matter, the speed at which light travels – all well-known properties of our universe, all proven by science, all memorized by high-school physics students. Other …

The Canon According To Tomato Nation, Part Three
November 19, 2000 · 2 Comments

It’s Monday. I slept poorly last night, partly because I ate a snack about an hour before going to bed and had utterly bizarre chocolate-fueled dreams involving Tom Skerritt and a merry-go-round as a result, …

The Vine: November 17, 2000
November 17, 2000 · No Comment

On Not’s problem,
Just a quickie comment that I think her man might have something else going with someone else.It’s based on no info other than what she provided, but if suddenly my BF got cold …