Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: October 31, 2000
October 31, 2000 · No Comment

Hi,
Perhaps you could give me some advice on a small matter which has been troubling me lately.I will disguise myself as “Gravy,” the better to conceal my identity.Here is the problem.
A few years ago my …

The Vine: October 30, 2000
October 30, 2000 · No Comment

Sars,
I began looking into my family history about a year ago and discovered (through official records, not from my family) that my maternal great-great-grandfather was African-American.He married a French-Native American woman.His son (my great-grandfather) married …

The Vine: October 27, 2000
October 27, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
Hope you enjoyed your trip, welcome back.
Some time ago I commented about our shared dislike for men’s white briefs. Well, how about giving it to the girls too? I am referring to the infamous …

The Vine: October 26, 2000
October 26, 2000 · No Comment

This is how it went down,
Not long after graduating from college, feeling the impending threat of student loans, I took a job with the Department of Defense in a management intern program.It would be a …

The Vine: October 25, 2000
October 25, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I’m planning to move to Chicago in about six months.I used to live there, and moved back to my hometown (my mother’s suggestion) about two years ago.When I moved here, it was to save …

The Vine: October 24, 2000
October 24, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
Seeing as how you have a cat, this letter might be insulting to you, but I’d like your advice anyway.I hate cats.Very much.I’m not sure why, but I’ve always thought that cats are the …

The Vine: October 23, 2000
October 23, 2000 · No Comment

I have been married for six months to a man twelve years my junior (blah blah you go girl blah).That’s not the problem.I don’t think.
When we met, I was a cigarette smoker and he was …

The Vine: October 20, 2000
October 20, 2000 · No Comment

Sarah,
I think your advice to Third Wheel about whether Adam should choose spending time with her over his sister doesn’t quite get to the heart of the matter.Any well-adjusted individual will have other friends, family …

The Vine: October 19, 2000
October 19, 2000 · No Comment

I have been online friends with these two girls for over two years. Last Christmas they all sent me gifts, even though I told them I don’t celebrate Christmas and they didn’t have to send …

4 Out Of 5 Doctors Agree
October 19, 2000 · One Comment

Nobody likes commercials. We might enjoy individual commercials, of course – the recent Volkswagen ad campaign, for example, or the “whaaaazzzaaaap” ads before the parodies got so played out – but on the whole, we …