“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.
From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.
Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.
Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.
The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!
Sadie The Cat-Tormenting Tomato.
Anticlimactic, kind of, because the padding in the tomato suit radically reduces the risk of injury, but I said I’d do it, so: done.
And I’d like to tell you my apartment isn’t ordinarily that messy, but it totally is.
(ETA: The audio is not entirely SFW.)
I’ve (re-)discovered a few things over the course of the recent Days Of Rage. Some of them are great!
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a lonely girl in possession of a library card must be in want of a twin. The child who spends a lot of time in books also spends …
Hey. I don’t know what we do now either. I DO know that we’ll need each other going forward, as we always have, for support, mutual aid, and information on where to get high-quality wide-calf …
“Fuck this.” hee hee hee.
It’s as if the tomato suit has scientific powers of cat repulsion.
I have to say, that is one of the weirdest videos I’ve ever seen. Great work!
Speaking of things you said you’d do…and tomato costumes…how’s the DC trip planning going? :)
Oh, YAY! Hee hee hee, indeed. The dramatic toss of the leaf/ hair is the perfect touch.
All hail the cheese hat! (In the top right corner of the vid.)
My 5 year old thought you were dressed as a ladybug.
I think my favorite part is the very end, right after you get up off of the couch and stick your arms in and POP that costume back into shape. For some reason, I laughed out loud (sitting here alone at my desk at work) when I saw that.
I agree with Maria – you have a sexy way of flinging your vegetation!!! Heh.
(Love the one tiny “maow” in the middle! Awwww!)
I snorted so loudly, my kids came running to see if Mommy was hurt. FABULOUSLY surreal.
All that this lacks is Instigator McFeckless, the Boston terrier…
Pictures have been taken at my house as well – I’ll post them soon. Not nearly as awesome as this, but oh well.
OK so I just watched it for the 3rd time (I am easily amused, yes) and seriously, when you have to, like, set yourself? And take a deep breath? To HEAVE Joe up onto your lap? That pause right there is where I lose it.
Poor Hobey. He didn’t ask for any of this.
The tomato leaves hanging down like green bunny ears makes it art!
As someone whose day included answering questions on how I felt about public masturbation in front of twenty strangers during voire dire (jury duty’s hotted up, ya’ll!) I have to say I needed this.
My cat thought this vid was fascinating. She kept putting her paw up to the screen. I played it three times and she found it utterly engrossing every time, heh.
OK, seriously anticlimactic, but here are my still shots. I cheated with helpers and admittedly lovely cats, but I did at least not give the kitties dinner first, so they were cranky. Also, I may not have a tomato costume, but there’s a serious Jolly Green Giant thing going on, and plenty of plump redness.
(A few solo shots of the cats start the album.)
http://tinyurl.com/7axnxx
What’s with the wrangler?! OBJECTION!
hee. Just kidding. Your cats are so pretty, though!
Mine are diametrically opposite. The one fluffy orange one (i.e., chief rascal #1) will lay anywhere on you, takes up half the bed at night (2 people+2 cats on a queen bed=humans squeezed in the area the size of a bunk bed), but pick him up and hold him, and he’s all “I don’t like this, I will hold my breath until I get a chance to escape”.
The grey one (i.e., chief rascal #2) is aloof and distant most of the time, unless you are sleeping in which case she picks your soft and most uncomfortable spot and sleeps on top of it to make sure your sleep is never restful, but you pick her up and hold her, and she’s like putty. She’s all like “Oh, mommy! Mommy, please hold me some more!”. You can cradle her like a baby, and she’ll just love the hell out of it. It’s probably because we got her as a tiny tiny creature, and that’s how my husband used to do to get her to stop climbing on him.
Liz, those are great! I especially liked how they coordinated not looking at the camera together for any of the shots.
What kills me, Sars, is that it’s pretty obvious that “Little” Joe was all set to CLIMB BACK ONTO YOUR LAP after you released him and the Hobe! Hard to climb up a moving tomato, though.
@Meltina: I had one of those grey kitties! Well, actually, grey with stripes. Like Little Joe. She was totally NOT aloof, but she expected to be carried like a baby. Everywhere. All the time. I got really, REALLY good at doing things with one arm/one hand while cradling her on her back in my other arm, because if I DIDN’T, she’d swarm up me. Girl was going to be HELD, Mommy! I miss her every day. *sigh* I do have a kitty who stands on the soft and owie parts. He’s a little less with the “cradle me, Mommy!” and a little more with the “la de da, just stroooolling around the shoulders, standing on the elbow of the outstretched arm, la de da.” He will also swarm straight up me if I neglect to pick him up within ten seconds. I’m planning to teach him to say “Pieces of eight!” while he perches on my elbow. A fifteen-pound cat standing on your elbow, pretending to be a parrot, does wonders for the biceps.
@ Sars – I know, wranglers are cheating, but Herky is STRONG and very slippery and difficult to get a grip on against his will even with two arms (not bitey/scratchy, just agile.) He’s also about 15 and I was afraid of clotheslining him.
@ Krissa – Yep, one set of EVIL LASERS at a time. At one point they were looking at each other like, “Yeah, I don’t know either,” but the camera was re-setting and we missed that one. They look a lot more evil than they really are. (I, on the other hand…)
Both of them are adoptees who have owned me for 10 years now. I had lost my black cat Rosie to premature kidney failure about six months previously, and went to the shelter thinking a Siamese might be nice because I had written one into my spoof romance novel… I found Sara cuddling in a box with Herky and a black cat, took that as a sign, and took the two of them home (couldn’t have three, and it was way too soon for another black cat.) I am often a little ashamed at having picked such gorgeous cats instead of seeking out funny-looking ones, but she wasn’t spayed and both have their claws, and both had been there a while, so they needed somebody, too. They adore each other and me (and the wrangler and the photographer,) and are just absolutely lovely cats.
(For the record, he’s very dignified and magnificently drama-kingish, but has the teeny chirpy Maine Coon voice, which is hilarious. I usually hold him so he’s supported by and looking back over my shoulder. She’s got the loud naggy Siamese thing going on, and loves to flop up against you, look up into your eyes, and start purring like a freight train. She puts up with being held in my arms like a baby.)
Thanks for letting me show off my cats. :-)
The tiny “meow” killed me. hee. Thanks!
I particularly enjoyed you having to detach Hobe from the couch. And yeah. The “Ok, the hell?” meow was great. :-)
AWESOME. I can’t believe I have so many favorite moments in such a short video…
1) how the Hobe dug his claws into the couch the second you tried to pick him up. Snerk.
2) Little Joe going “mee” (I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED to hear Little Joe go “mee”!!!)
3) I’m with Maria on the “readying… hut… hut… LIFT!” HEE! Poor “Little” Joe…
4) The way as soon as you let them go, Hobey runs for the hills, but Joe is looking at you all “…Yes? You… wanted something? Hi?” Awwww.
Tee hee. Also, your apartment is super cute.