Midtown Humanity On Parade, Volume 1
I remember my 17-year-old body — not well, because I had it half a lifetime ago, but I remember it, and my only regret about it is that I had to use it at a time when baggy clothing was in.
That isn’t the case for 17-year-olds of today, which is nice for them, or rather for those of them with conventionally attractive figures. Gather ye short-shorts while ye may, I say, positioned as I am well into “too old for that, except to work out” territory.
But let thy short-shorts be shorts, versus, let us say, the sideways sock with pockets posing as shorts sported by one teen field-tripper I saw this afternoon. Showing a little leg at her age, on vacation? Sure, fine. But there is a point at which the leg ends and the buttock begins, and if I can see not only that point but all points two inches above it, it is not a pair of shorts. It is a Pussycat Dolls audition, and fully 97 percent of the men in Rockefeller Plaza should go to jail just for permitting her to walk past them.
And her butt? Not that great in the second place, considering its relative youth. You know that kind of butt that sort of resembles two side-by-side prehensile hot-dog buns? Yeah. Put ’em away, Cheeky.
Tags: city living curmudgeoning
I find it interesting that you mention 2 inches ABOVE where butt meets leg. Here in my neck of the woods (maybe we’re terribly old fashioned) but the part of the butt that sticks out sticks out above the waistband, generally framed by a pair of T backed thongs.
– Alaska
I’m sure this girl, upon questioning, would lie that she didn’t wear the short-shorts for attention, but because “it’s just so hot out here.” As if anyone would believe that, ever.
Agreed. I saw a pair of baby goths a few weeks back whose ‘skirts’ were about the same size as a decent pocket handkerchief. I really didn’t need to see what color underwear they were (thank the Gods) wearing, especially since I’m probably old enough to have sired one or both of them. And the strap-on feathered wings? Uh, no. Really. No.
This is going on during Fleet Week?
Disaster waiting to happen.
Gawd. Driving home from work today, I passed a fifty-something woman, a twenty-something woman, and a toddler, all walking together. I swear to god, proportionate to what was being covered, the toddler had on more clothes than the older women. And please, if you’re going to be squeezing three hundred+ pounds into a short tube top that looks like a plain old strapless bra and some zebra-print hotpants, have the dignity to NOT stop in the middle of the street in from of my car to pick your wedgie.
*shudders*
I dunno, I think that most of us who cover up things have always done it, whether we’re 15 or 30. I mean, I wish I had known how “hot” I was when I was 15 and was able to wear that shit, but the truth of the matter is, not only did I have no idea, but I would have been more uncomfortable with things had I had an inkling of that. I covered up a lot more then than I do now, and it’s not like I let it all hang out now (not on purpose anyway =/). Girls whose bodies are on parade? I envy them sometimes, but that’s in the abstract. Most good looking people half my age still cover up a lot more than those whose bits I wouldn’t want to look at in the first place.
You know, half the problem here is the available material. I went shopping for shorts this weekend and tried to find something between “My grandma wore these in the 30s” and “the world is my gynecology appointment” and seriously? Nothing. So when faced with the sin against humanity called bermuda shorts and shorts that show off the lady bits, the average teenager will usually choose the latter. It also makes me wonder what mom let their 14-year-old who is clearly not earning their own income purchase shorts that short. My parents had a fingertip rule and sure, I thought they were too strict at the time but now I’m thankful that I didn’t put the goodies on display. Oy.
Oh God I know! I’m turning 17 at the end of the year and I get disgusted with it too.
I admit to owning a few short shorts myself but I never wear the anywhere other than the beach or park or reheasals…and some of the girls that squeeve into the minis…I hate to sound like a cow…but I’m pretty fit…so I can pull off the XS…but when you look like a brahtwurst in to tight a skin?
Leave it at home. Buying a size too small is NEVER sexy.
Half a but? That’s just ridiculus!
Its my understanding that the thong sticking out of the top of the pants is so popular it actually has a slang term-it is a “whale tale.” Kill me.
Although, the girls with the shorts hiked up to there, and the tops cut down to there, bother me less than the guys with the three sizes too big jeans with their (always fugly) underwear and/or ass showing.
I just-you know, 70s teenagers have pictures of themselves in leisure suits, John Travolta shirts open to the waist, etc. to look at and shudder in horror. I think most of the readers of the site are of the generation that has to look back at jelly bracelets, big hair, and Members Only jackets. But in 20 years, these kids are going to look at pictures of themselves and have a stroke.
Don’t even get me started on the teeny boppers in the mall during the summer. As a man I’ll occasionally wish this was acceptable attire when I was 17. However, as a father (a new one at that, bless my beautiful little 16 month old girl) I walk through the mall screaming in my head, “WHERE THE EFF ARE YOUR PARENTS AND WHAT MADE THEM THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO LET YOU WALK OUT OF THE HOUSE IN SHORTS THAT ARE BASICALLY PANTIES WITH ‘Juicy’ WRITTEN ACROSS THE ASS???” I wish I could punch stupid people in the brain.
The only thing worse than someone who thinks they are heavier than they are (and complains about losing that “belly”) is someone who thinks they are thinner/hotter than they really are, and bares their white white flesh for us all to get nauseous over. hee!
HATE! But I must say, I prefer the posteriar-bearing shorts to the hankie-sized skirts. At least the shorts have something pretending to be a crotch.
And HATEHATEHATE visable thong. Why? Do you think your mama needs reassuring that you are wearing clean underwear?!
It’s bad enough when you encounter those delusional preteens on Maury–at least then you can change the channel and avoid the sight of childhood-obesity flesh erupting from clothes a stripper would reject as too undignified. But walking down the street? I live in the Northwest, where you can’t even use the “but it’s HAH-AHT!” excuse for the majority of the year, and I still see displays of flesh that, truly, I do not know or love you well enough to tolerate. I’m no model or anything close to one, but I don’t run around muffin topping at one end and bursting forth from my sequined one-strap chiffon look at my acid green bra see through top at the other.
Two girls at a recent prom I was unfortunately witness to (my husband is a teacher) showed up in self-fashioned dresses made of day-glo duct tape. Impressed with their talent, ingenuity, and boldness? Absolutely. Shocked and disturbed by the fact that you could see far more than thigh every time they took a step? Definitely.
The best part was when my husband said to one of them, “Great dress. Did you make it yourself?” “Yes.” “Wow. Did you run out of tape?”
My former office was located across the street from one of Houston’s more well-to-do high schools. I saw girls going in and out of there wearing clothes my mother would never have let me wear IN the house, let alone to school. Skank.
Having said that… 1) I’ve become my mother. 2) I’ve graduated to the “what’s wrong with these kids today” set.
I am not happy about either of those things.
During a summer trip to the mall, my grandmother saw a teenager squeezed into short-shorts too small to cover her butt, and exclaimed in great dismay: “That poor girl! Doesn’t she have a mirror?” I didn’t have the heart to tell her that this girl had probably dressed that way on purpose. Any day now I expect Grandma to open a charity that donates mirrors to the (apparently) mirrorless.
I’m equally disgusted by women who wear low rise jeans and half tops allowing their pooches (more like bull mastiffs) to hang out. Just because your boobs obstruct the view of your belly, it doesn’t mean that it’s still not there.
Anyone remember the days of old when Britney’s mom wouldn’t let her wear a midriff-bearing shirt? (whereas Christina Aguilera did – back when these two Mouseketeers were “rivals”) Sure, that lasted until her – what – 2nd video?
I was born in 1973. I remember when a tank top was a little risque and certainly only to be worn for the beach or on vacation.
those halcyon days…
I’m twenty-four, Jennifer, and I’ve wondered what’s wrong with these kids today since I was twelve. I don’t think it’s an age thing, it just denotes having taste. ;)
hey Too Old – the duct-tape-prom-dress is not just cutting edge fashion, but a scholarship by Duck brand Duct Tape – http://www.ducttapeclub.com/contests/prom/
As for the less-than-dressed, I can only hope that one day they’ll see what we see, or at least realize that yes, we can see that.
I will admit that part of my chagrin is envy. If I had an immaculate 17-year-old body again,who knows, I might be strolling buck naked through the frozen food section of Ralph’s. Who thinks about the bigger picture at that age?
On the other hand, we have a columnist here in England writing for the Independent (a feminist Muslim woman) who said that there is no difference between a boob tube, or in this case, super-short-shorts, and a burqa in the sense that it defines and objectifies female sexuality to sole importance in a woman’s identity. The other part of me agrees with that, and wonders how we’ve allowed our girls to absorb, as a nation, that it’s OK to put your entire body on casual display (to the point that you’re weird if you don’t).
Agree with CB on available choices. Good luck trying to find summer wear that covers my fat arms, never mind my belly or the bottom of my ass. It’s as if you can’t combat the heat in flattering clothing if you wanted to.
Prostitots! I loved my mother’s reaction when I introduced her to that term: “That’s horrible! … True. But horrible!” Because it’s kinda’ wrong when the girl is 17, but when she’s 12? Soooooo wrong! Those are the parents I want to hurt.
Last year I taught sixth grade, and I routinely had to send girls home (or to their lockers) to scrounge up more clothing because they were falling out of their tube tops, very-mini skirts, low cut tank tops, etc. My favorite phone call ever was from an angry mother who felt that I had insulted her daughter when I suggested that the girl needed to wear a shirt that covered her ample chest. I failed to see how asking a twelve year old not to dress like a prostitute was insulting, but there you go.
“…we have a columnist here in England writing for the Independent (a feminist Muslim woman) who said that there is no difference between a boob tube, or in this case, super-short-shorts, and a burqa in the sense that it defines and objectifies female sexuality to sole importance in a woman’s identity.”
Absolutely–and in both cases, bystanders take it upon themselves to decry that woman’s clothing; in both cases, it becomes okay (in their minds) for bystanders to express their disgust with the woman’s body and what she chooses to do with it, or how she chooses to cover/uncover it.
I wish it were that simple, but I don’t think it is. I absolutely agree that the reduction of a woman’s value to her relative sexual attractiveness in our culture is problematic, but I also think that women have to be aware that that’s the case, and to incorporate that into how they interact with the world. And by that, I don’t mean that a demure knee-length skirt is the best choice; I mean that, every day, in every way, people will see you as a woman first and an individuated person second, and you have to decide how you want to take that on.
In other words, people *shouldn’t* use a few visual cues to decide what you are, but that doesn’t change the fact that they *will*. Take it from a woman who shaved her head.
Now, it’s certainly possible that Short-Shorts Von Buttcheeken was making statement about subverting the assumptions of the patriarchal gaze. I would not give it long odds, but it’s possible. But whether she’s doing that or she just thought the shorts looked hot, she’s going to come across people like myself, and I’m not disgusted with the female form, I hate the “slut” appellation and fight it on all fronts, and I don’t particularly care whether this kid walks past my boyfriend in a thong or a wedding gown or what, but I do think that the butt is best enjoyed privately.
Also: she’s 17 tops (probably younger; I looked fully grown/developed at 13). I think some prudishness when it comes to minor children’s attire is indicated.
What’s the problem with judging someone based (partly) on their clothes? Clothes are as much of a communication as anything else that humans do. If your clothes say “easy chick” then people will (at least partly) treat you that way. And then you wonder why ya don’t get no respect…
(I hate having to keep putting in “partly”, but I’m well aware that if I don’t use weasel-words people will assume that the ONLY way I judge people is by their clothes.)
I think we should be judging our culture that rewards increasingly younger and younger girls for making themselves in to sex objects. And possibly we should be judging her parents. And probably ourselves. But, I’m not sure we should be judging her.
That said, I agree with the person upthread who wondered where the reasonable shorts are?
CB, I fully agree. Being 5’3″ and athletic means that the short shorts look hideous on my thighs (plus, ew, too short) and the bermudas, which I prefer, look horrible because I’m not at least 5’8″.
Sammie, I think you and I would have been friends in high school. I salute you.
I knew conclusively that my husband was the perfect man when, while out to dinner one night, a prostitot walked past us and he said without prompting “I would never, EVER let my daughter out of the house like that”.
Maybe this is overly optimistic, but I like to assume that most parents don’t know what their kids are really wearing in public. The kids leave the house in something reasonable and then change into jail-bait–wear when they get to their destination, and then change back before the ‘rents pick them up. Of course, that doesn’t hold with the mother who got upset over the teacher sending her daughter home, but perhaps she’s the exception? Maybe??
Did anyone else see that episode of South Park when all the mothers were defending their girls’ rights to dress like prostitutes? That WAS a joke, right??
And yeah, I’m with you Sars– there is an unjustice in the fact that my hot, barely legal bod was camouflaged in 80s fashion. What a shame.
I was at Old Navy over the weekend and noticed that the shorts are a lot longer now. I’m not sure if that will be the style for the summer, but they’re long at at least one store.
I’m with Jessica. That seventeen-year-old will probably grow into a twenty-five or thirty year old who has learned to dress in ways that showcase and conceal her sexuality in a way that she’s comfortable with, and being the teenager who experiments with cleavage and too much make-up and short skirts is part of that process. But she’ll still be living in a culture which considers itself entitled to assess women’s self-presentation on sexual terms and judges them when they get it wrong, lucky her.
I’ve no problems with the original post, but some of the responses here are pretty horridly judgmental. Yeah, condemning other women is gonna help the revolution.
I did hear Old Navy is starting to offer the same styles of shorts with different length options, which is fantastic. I haven’t been a big fan of their clothes lately, but I may give them a second look just for that.
Ah misspent youth. I spent my teen years as a 5’10” 135 lb “fattie” waiting to lose 10 lbs before I would wear anything fitted, much less revealing.
Never lost the 10 lbs, found multiples of it later in life.
Kesumo, you are right, that some parents don’t know what their kids are wearing. I work at a public library, and the amount of skankifying that goes on in the ladies room is really impressive.
However, when you’ve got 40+ year old moms (and in some cases, grandmoms) also rocking the “less is more” look, it’s hard to argue with the girls. Also, as a mom, I can say it’s gotten increasingly difficult to find modest clothes for young girls.
My daughter is 5, but being tall and “sturdy” she wears a size 7/8 or 9/10 in girls. Trying to find her summer clothes that don’t show belly or aren’t low cut or high cut or emblazoned with “Sexy” or “Hot” is a challenge. I finally gave in on the two piece swimsuit, mostly because all her friends had bikinis.
I would dress her more modestly if I could find the clothes, and if I thought it wouldn’t make her stand out from her friends.
For the record… the Parade of T&A is getting out of hand.
Witness my office, infamous for our dress code of “traditional business†(read: full suits all day every day). “Employee A†(seen exiting the elevator) dressed in what can only be described as a man’s dress shirt unbuttoned up to there and down to there as well with no hose and spiked heels. There is no reason I should have seen this woman’s bra (lacey, black) and panties (lacey, red with black piping).
Teenagers, I can at least lie to myself and say they don’t know any better. What’s the adult’s excuse?
MeriJenBen – I feel your pain. My niece is 8 and wears a size 14/16. Finding clothes that cover her belly, butt and don’t include a ‘built in bra’ is nearly impossible. I usually gift shop at Gap or Old Navy in the Kid’s Plus-Sized section. Hell will freeze over before this auntie will bring home anything embossed with “Sexy†across the ass.
“I’ve no problems with the original post, but some of the responses here are pretty horridly judgmental. Yeah, condemning other women is gonna help the revolution.”
Indeed. marykmac: I’m not sure if this is what you meant, but it’s interesting how easily a topic like this can lead to, “Ew, fat chicks,” especially when you consider that Sars’s original post (which I agree was just fine) didn’t even touch on that.
It’s just as bad for babies. I can’t tell you how many pairs of INFANT shorts and “onesies” I received at my shower that say “hottie” or “princess” across the butt in a size 3-6 months. She is now 14 months and it is still a struggle to find bathing suits and clothing that *I* would wear, let alone dress my toddler in.
Somewhere a mother is grabbing up all those donated baby clothes and thinking “Score!” Sad………
There really is a line between free expression and wearing whatever you want, and plain decency. You can be plenty attractive without letting people know you’ve got a complete tan going on, thank you.
Yubi “wearing jeans throughout the dang summer” Shines
Ducky: That’s excellent, though I fear they won’t win since 10% of the score is apparently based on the amount of duct tape used and, well, they were definitely going for minimalism!
As for all of this political/judgmental/women’s rights stuff, come on. I don’t agree with making laws about skirt length or waistband height or whatever, and I certainly don’t think that what a woman wears justifies ANY action against her–people have a right not to be molested in any way whether they are in footie pajamas, a burkha, or a thong–but the clothes you choose to wear in public make a statement to other people, and if you leave your cheeks hanging out of your pants, you will be judged. Fat, thin, pimply, tanned, whatever: you are making a statement, and you need to be aware of the statement you’re making. I don’t think a lot of girls are. They think about what their friends will think, but they don’t think about the rest of the world seeing their exposed flesh and what that says to people.
Indeed. marykmac: I’m not sure if this is what you meant, but it’s interesting how easily a topic like this can lead to, “Ew, fat chicks,” especially when you consider that Sars’s original post (which I agree was just fine) didn’t even touch on that.
To be fair Katherine, I think most people (at least I did) meant it in a people should dress to their bodies way not a ew fat girls way. Different things look good on different people. Do I wear clothes that require boobs or hips to fill them out? No, because in most of the summer dresses in earlier this year (in Aus here-were going into winter and apparently the grey, british orphanage of the 1800’s look is in) I look like an icecream stick covered in a rag.
Fashion and clothes should be about making you look good- not about following what the trends are. And also..dear retail industry, if your dress is a size 8…it should be a size 8 because if my hips are small it is going to be a corallary that my chest is small so quit it with the dresses with enough room for c-cups. A cups people, A’s!!!
/I don’t think a lot of girls are. They think about what their friends will think, but they don’t think about the rest of the world seeing their exposed flesh and what that says to people./
Oh well, that’s where we differ, then: I think it’s normal and healthy for teenagers to be focused on what their friends and their peers think, and ninety percent oblivious of what The Rest Of The World thinks. If I could guarantee anything for a fifteen year old daughter of mine, it would be that, as far as sex goes, she could focus on flirting with and dressing for fifteen year old boys and girls, without ever getting the shock of discovering that there’s some drooling forty year old eyeing her up. When I was that age, hot pants and Wonderbras and microminis were in, and I was completely oblivious to the idea that anyone over the age of twenty-two even thought about sex, and I’m grateful that I was. It was my friends who’d had bad experiences or who came from less secure families that thought about that kind of thing.
Obviously, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t teenage girls flashin’ their flesh because they are trying to get the attention of older men, or that parents’ shouldn’t keep an eye on what their daughters are wearing and try and ensure that it’s a positive experience for them. But I think that the fifteen year old who is genuinely oblivious to the way that people outside her social circle are perceiving her hotpants or her miniskirt (or her hijab, or her bikerboots, or her pink hair, or whatever non-standard sartorial choices she’s making) is a healthy, well-adjusted kid.
I’d still rather a daughter of mine grew up in a world that didn’t judge women on their appearance far more often and more harshly than it does men, but I don’t see that happening any time soon.
“Hell will freeze over before this auntie will bring home anything embossed with “Sexy†across the ass.â€
Hee! You know what’s adorable? I had to explain this phenomenon to my fiancé. We were at the beach this past weekend and there was a teen or tween girl (I can’t tell. I feel old. All teenage looking kids look 12 to me…) in a “Juicy†bikini. It said “Juicy†across the butt. He was like “Okay, WHY would you want to advertise that your ass is juicy???†I had to explain to him that it’s a clothing store and what you want to advertise is that you’re a rich spoiled princess who gets all her clothes at Juicy. Or whatever. Ha. And *I* only even know of this store and that it’s trendy/expensive from the television. Specifically, “The Secret Lives of Women: shopaholics†har.
“I can’t tell you how many pairs of INFANT shorts and “onesies” I received at my shower that say “hottie” or “princess” across the butt in a size 3-6 months.â€
Oh man I am in trouble in that case… I don’t even want to dress my baby girl in PINK, let alone Princess wear…. barf. God, I hope I have boys. Please let me just have boys.
/I’d still rather a daughter of mine grew up in a world that didn’t judge women on their appearance far more often and more harshly than it does men, but I don’t see that happening any time soon./
That I agree with.
As for the rest, yes, it’s *nice* to be oblivious to the fact that forty year old men are going to see your fifteen-year-old’s flaunted cleavage and rear and get a special feeling about it–ignorance is bliss and all that–but the fact is that they ARE, and not being aware of it doesn’t make it go away. I’m not sure that bringing a girl up from day one in hotpants and shielding her from the fact that it means something is a very good idea.
All I’m saying is, you can look hot and unique without giving away the farm. And learning to dress that way is a skill I think I’d like to encourage in my daughter, rather than letting her go around thinking that when she bends over in her micromini, nobody’s looking.
Maybe this is overly optimistic, but I like to assume that most parents don’t know what their kids are really wearing in public. The kids leave the house in something reasonable and then change into jail-bait–wear when they get to their destination, and then change back before the ‘rents pick them up. – Kesumo
I always thought the same thing. Then I spent the Year of Magical Downsizing working at the Short Hills Bloomingdale’s. In their Y.E.S. department, no less. And….wow. WOW. You guys? THE MOMS are the ones who not only approve, but often choose the skankwear.
Seriously, I felt like Margaret Mead among the Samoans. Here’s a couple of memories seared on my brain:
Exhibit A: Mom asked me “what I thought of” the slutty dress her daughter with the bodacious ta-tas was wearing (said dress displaying the bodaciousness to the hilt, of course). Me: “Umm, this is for a prom, right?” Mom: “No, a bar mitzvah.” (This was quite a common exchange. Apparently, these gals’ personal ‘mitzvah’ was to ensure every Jewish boy in town got his Maxim fantasy fulfilled upon reaching manhood. Mazel tov!).
Exhibit B: Teen girl walks up to Mom wearing skimpy, lycra-infused camisole, said sartorial choice nicely showing off her cleavage/navel combo. “This is the medium. What do you think? This or the small?” Mom: “Oh, the small. Definitely.”
And you just know these moms are all up in arms about the Evil of Online Predators.
I used to go to a Catholic school that had a uniform. The proper length for the kilt was two inches (or two finger widths) above the knee, but very few girls went along these guidelines (I had one friend who wore hers at the correct length – she was a highland dancer and had legs that started somewhere below the chin, damn her).
As soon as the uniforms were implemented, girls rolled their kilts up to within an inch of their lady bits. So the teachers told them to roll them down. The girls, tired of the constant rolling and unrolling, hemmed their kilts, making bringing them back to the proper length impossible. Several of them even used the sewing machines in the home ec classroom to do it! We had a female principal patrolling the halls with a stitch ripper to get those pesky hems down as much as possible, but she had to stop because the parents complained. Even at the age of fifteen, I thought that was the most idiotic thing I’d ever heard. Shorts were put into the kilts and the girls cut them out. Teachers noticed the grade 9 girls were the worst for it, so they banned kilts until grade 10. Good work – now the grade 10 girls were the worst for it.
Not that the length was the only issue. The preferred underpants to go with these almost-ass-coverings? Thongs, g-strings and the ever-celebrated Just What God Gave Me. Not all the girls did this, obviously – I had one friend who once came running up to me to show off the flannel boxer shorts she’d gotten in the same Black Watch plaid as her kilt. Still, between classes you could see buttcheeks peeping out from under kilts swaying with their owners’ movement. There’s even a story of one teacher in the middle of a lesson suddenly dropping everything and marching over to the office to tell them that he had just gotten an eyeful of the vagina of one of his students as she sat in the front row.
Hell, our principal used to stand under the staircase under the pretense of making sure no rough housing occurred and would look up at the girls in their teeny, often underpantsless underbits as they trooped on up to the science wing.
Seeing the choices I had, I went in the opposite direction and wore the boys’ uniform two sizes too large instead. Eventually they just up and banned the kilts outright. Now everyone at the school wears pants or walking shorts.
Here’s a little lesson in the spirit of Jean-Jacques Rousseau: when you leave your private home to enter the public sphere, how you choose to present yourself is the foremost indicator of the level of respect you have for the people around you.
The only way any human society can reasonably function when sharing public space is by coming to some kind of collective understanding that each individual will at very least attempt to avoid stepping on everyone else’s toes. By adhering (more or less) to this basic principle, we nurture a mutual respect by demonstrating that we are doing our small part to keep the society running as comfortably as possible for as many people as possible.
In Western society, dressing in a reasonably conservative fashion — ie: effectively covering our naughty bits, whether male or female — can fairly be put on the same level as, say brushing your teeth or taking a shower (that is, in the ‘basic, expected social behaviours’ column). Not to say that everbody adheres to these accepted norms when in public (ha!), but those who don’t should absolutely expect to be stigmatized by other members of the society and in my opinion, they have — by their own actions — forfeited their right to complain about it. (I’d like to point out that sexist, racist, and/or otherwise bigoted, unreasonably oppressive or selectively applied stigmas are obviously not cool with me).
This, friends, is what “society” is; like it or lump it. If you choose to flout widely accepted social conventions, you’re stuck with the resulting criticisms and/or assumptions that come with the decisions you’ve made. I once had my hair cut super-short and bleached platinum blond, and in the year afterward, I attracted a dozen or so crazy, hard-partying guys who never would have approached me before. How were they supposed to know I was actually a nerdy bookworm who spent her Saturday nights at home on the couch?)
Simply put, the field-tripping girl from the original post was demonstrating a — possibly deliberate — lack of respect for the general public, and as Sars has attested, it reflected poorly on her, and on her “breeding.” When it comes down to it, parents/guardians are responsible for teaching their kids to respect the society of which they are a part — in exactly the same way they might promote, say, a healthy respect for the law. Do we agree with every single aspect of our legal system? Of course not. But do we put in a reasonable effort to stay on the right side of the law, particularly where it concerns potentially violating the rights of other people? If we want to live long, productive lives outside the walls of our fine correctional facilities . . . then yes, we do.
Working within the expectations of society doesn’t require total, Borg-like conformity . . . just a reasonable amount of human decency when going about our business in public. Sadly, it seems as though even the adult population fails to embrace this concept, which is probably why Western society is very quickly becoming clogged with rude as hell people who behave as though the rest of us are cardboard cutouts orbiting mindlessly around them.
Teenagers will always push and test the boundaries they’re presented with (that’s assuming they’re presented with boundaries of any kind, I suppose), and that much should be expected. But now more than ever, they need to be taught that a distinction does exist between public and private conduct.
Put more simply: you do not have the inalienable right to do or wear or say anything you damn please in a public environment. Be considerate of other people, because not everyone wants to be confronted with the intimate details of your money-maker when shopping for groceries. Period.
As a sixteen year old myself all I can is: YAY!
A point of note however: it is really hard to find cheep things that don’t look like-excuse me-something your mother would wear. I live with my father, and so we shop a lot at WalMart. There were no real shorts that went even a little bit towards the direction of covering the wearer’s legs on sale last time I went. I nearly made Daddy take me somewhere else.
And don’t even get me started on dresses! Putting aside how hard it is to find summer dresses peroid, when you do find them you’re lucky if they cover an inch more than the afore-mentioned shorts. And the rule for active girls is to buy dresses at least an inch longer than you want it, because it’s going to end up showing up anway.
Never fear though, several of my friends have found a solution: make your own. It’s stood us in good stead, and our insulting giggles at girls wearing under-sized, unflattering, skin-bearing dresses as *we* look amazing (in our home-made, flattering, knee length, reasonable-clevage bearing dresses) make them at least blush. What more can a girl ask for? And who knows, maybe someday one of them will ask us for a sewing lesson?
Great discussion, you’ve all said it all for me (even the disagreements)! (I found this as the one post on my blog that has any reference to this topic is bringing in readers searching for pictures of girls in thongs and I had to see what else the search engine was offering them… you’d think more what they were looking for and not this sort of discussion, but whatever.) Yeah, I support freedom of apparel, but I abhor much of what I see.
And cheers for MoE and her sewing, since a person who can sew well is always in a position to be better dressed than anyone else. Wish my sewing was more advanced (it’s best on embroidery and quilt-piecing, not garments).