The NC Double Scrooge: Decor Division
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree: how could such a lovely symbol cause so many problems? But it does — or perhaps it’s the futile quest for arboreal perfection that ties us in knots. Whatever the cause of your decorative disgruntlement this holiday season, you can vote on it here.
Coming later in the week: family/social obligations (which is where we’ve stashed the dozens of “what happened to all the ornaments at the bottom of the tr– CAAAAAAATS”-type poll entries); movies and specials; and, of course, the holidays in song.
For now: you can spell “wreath” without “hate”…but we wouldn’t advise it. It’s the catch-all decorations/Christmas spirit category: vote now!
NC Double Scrooge, Decor Division: Please Pick The Three (3) WORST
- People who get all bent out of shape about having to say "the holidays" (13%, 448 Votes)
- People who get all bent out of shape if you say "Christmas" instead of "the holidays" (8%, 265 Votes)
- People who leave their fading, drooping decorations up until February (i.e., "the tree" becomes "the Valentine's Day needle heap") (7%, 224 Votes)
- Epileptically blinking lights (6%, 194 Votes)
- The Tree Police: people who are obsessed with whether/when everyone ELSE gets a tree, whether it's real or fake, what goes on top, etc. etc. amen -- mind your business, Tannenbaum Polizei (5%, 183 Votes)
- Lack of snow/creepy warmth after 12/1 (5%, 163 Votes)
- Trees dropping needles the DAY AFTER YOU BRING IT HOME and then tracking said needles into every room in the house (4%, 149 Votes)
- The price of real trees -- what, it's made of platinum? Fuck off, "eighty dollars" (4%, 148 Votes)
- Ugly reindeer sweaters and their sudden resurgence as a party theme (4%, 135 Votes)
- Intrusive outdoor decorating (4%, 132 Votes)
- Having a birthday between December 15 and January 2 (4%, 127 Votes)
- The non-word "Xmas" (which, if you think about it, is really "Crossmas"...or "Ex-mas") (4%, 125 Votes)
- Fake snow (3%, 116 Votes)
- The @*&#! Christmas tree stand (3%, 108 Votes)
- Fake trees (3%, 97 Votes)
- JINGLING (3%, 96 Votes)
- Tangly tree lights (3%, 95 Votes)
- Too much snow (2%, 71 Votes)
- Actual Nutcrackers: what's with the creepy unhinging jaw and beard that gets in your nutmeats? Let's buy the walnuts pre-shelled, shall we? (2%, 67 Votes)
- Getting sap all over everything (2%, 60 Votes)
- Somehow not discovering the giant bare spot on the tree until you get it home, even though you examined it from every possible angle on the lot (2%, 60 Votes)
- Neckties that play Christmas songs (2%, 59 Votes)
- Being accused of buzzkillage when you refuse to mess up your hair with novelty antlers (2%, 59 Votes)
- Trees that don't smell enough (2%, 58 Votes)
- Your moth-eaten, misshapen kindergarten ornaments Mom insists on continuing to hang on the tree that are, even for a five-year-old, poor work (1%, 47 Votes)
- Not looking good in red and/or green (1%, 18 Votes)
- Elves (0%, 15 Votes)
- The "star versus angel" "debate" (0%, 14 Votes)
- Angry nippy wreath that won't hang straight and takes 19,245 tiny bites out of your wrists in the attempt (0%, 12 Votes)
Total Voters: 1,138
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Tags: Keckler NC Double Scrooge winter-holiday agita
I met my now husband in Dec and his family had a lovely (fake) Christmas tress. Nothing strange about that, but then January, February… they left the damn tree up for two years!! I think that may be a record. They’ve since moved and now the tree only comes out in December.
Re: birthdays…12/20 checking in.
I couldn’t resist sharing a story about my Dec. 30 birthday. Our house was rather old, and my mom was very self-conscious about it. One year a chunk of plaster fell out of the living room ceiling, and my parents plastered over it. You could easily see the repair. One of the kids at my birthday party looked up and said, “What happened–did Santa Clause miss the chimney?”
My sister is 12/26, and her birthday was always separate and special, though one year when our other sister was really young she got very excited and started opening up birthday presents before being told, no, it is sister’s birthday, not Christmas anymore. A few years ago she expressed displeasure at receiving only one box that contained both Christmas and birthday presents, so for awhile I sent separate boxes.
Thanks for all the birthday suggestions! Sounds like we’re on the right track — now I just have to figure out how to make a Wonder Woman cake with no artistic ability ;) (the cool thing about having an almost 4-year-old is that whatever I attempt will be ok, as long as there are action figures!)
Now ditto me on the “Happy Holidays” thing. One of my Dad’s friends, whom I’d always thought was pretty laid back, made a shirt that said “Be a REAL man, say Merry Christmas!”. Um? No. He sent me a picture he was so proud, and I had to find a semi-polite way to tell him I refused to tell my students, who come from various religions (including no religion) something that only applies to me. I also restrained myself from giving him a lecture on masculinity. Darn family friends you have to be nice to.
I met my now husband in Dec and his family had a lovely (fake) Christmas tress. Nothing strange about that, but then January, February… they left the damn tree up for two years!! I think that may be a record. They’ve since moved and now the tree only comes out in December.