The NC Double Scrooge: Songbook Division
Submitted by Sarah D. Bunting on December 15, 2010 – 9:22 AM154 Comments
I’ve made my feelings about various Christmas songs clear elsewhere, so I won’t belabor the point, but today’s the day in the NC Double Scrooge on which we formally censure the holiday tunes we hate the most. I’ve never even heard “The Christmas Shoes,” but y’all seemed to feel quite strongly about it, so now’s your chance to throw it into a semifinal.
Tomorrow, we’ll vote on Christmas movies and specials; finals start soon!
NC Double Scrooge, Songbook Division: Please Pick The Three (3) WORST
- "The Christmas Shoes" (12%, 400 Votes)
- "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" -- I mean…no (12%, 381 Votes)
- "Wonderful Christmastime," Paul "Smugbob Casiopants" McCartney (9%, 286 Votes)
- "Do They Know It's Christmas?," Band-Aid (9%, 279 Votes)
- Traditional hymns like "Lo, How A Rose" cheapened by pop-star over-singing (7%, 238 Votes)
- "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" -- and it was fucked up (7%, 234 Votes)
- "Baby It's Cold Outside" -- because nothing says "the holidays" like date rape (6%, 192 Votes)
- "Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg" (4%, 126 Votes)
- "Last Christmas," Wham! (4%, 119 Votes)
- "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" -- all versions (and the naughty/nice wordplay they bring with them), but especially Springsteen's yelly iteration (3%, 104 Votes)
- "Little Drummer Boy" (3%, 95 Votes)
- "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)," John Lennon (3%, 90 Votes)
- "Feliz Navidad" (3%, 88 Votes)
- "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and the derfy "like Monopoly!" interjections (2%, 74 Votes)
- "Jingle Bell Rock" (2%, 74 Votes)
- "Meli Kalikimaka," in which Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters insert an earwig that will not work itself loose until Easter (2%, 62 Votes)
- "Here Comes Santa Claus" -- seriously? "Santa Claus Lane"? What is he, the Easter Bunny? The idea of Elvis humping Santa Claus does not roast our chestnuts (2%, 61 Votes)
- "Blue Christmas" (1%, 44 Votes)
- "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" (1%, 43 Votes)
- "Auld Lang Syne" -- sounds like an old-timey disease (1%, 36 Votes)
- Anything Dolly Parton or Willie Nelson sings (1%, 33 Votes)
- "Frosty the Snowman" (1%, 31 Votes)
- "I'll Be Home For Christmas" (1%, 30 Votes)
- "Christmas in Dixie" (1%, 25 Votes)
- "Mary's Boy Child," Harry Belafonte (1%, 23 Votes)
- "Santa's Beard," the Beach Boys (1%, 19 Votes)
- "Christmas in My Hometown," Charley Pride (1%, 17 Votes)
- "Sleigh Ride" (0%, 16 Votes)
Total Voters: 1,104
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Tags: *NSYNC Keckler music NC Double Scrooge winter-holiday agita
Of all the above-mentioned Christmas songs, I gotta say that McCartney’s is my favorite. Yes, I admit to actually LOVING that song! It pulls me from the brink of holiday-season-induced stabbiness.
After hearing all the other songs referenced here — plus tons of other ones with all their overwrought vocal stylings, drenched sentimentalism, and basic illogic — on every station everywhere and sublimating through the air, the goofiness, unapologetic grinniness, and fun musical changeups and noises (“doot-doot-doot-do-doot!”) of McCartney’s song makes me smile when it comes on.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
And then I sing or hum along.
True story.
“say, what’s in this drink”? Are you kidding me? He TOTALLY slipped her a micky and he’s throwing massive guilt trips all over the place and messing up her hair. The Date Rape Song. We’ve always called it that.
Recently, I moved to Belgium,, where apparently they don’t celebrate Christmas anywhere except Grote Markt in Brussels. Prior to this year, I was a 24/7 Christmas song junkie. From mid-November up until Christmas day, lay it on me. Any symphonic version of “Sleigh Ride” gives me instant warm fuzzies and I’ve actually started to like “Believe”. I love all the old-time stuff – Wexford Carol, Holly and Ivy, blah blah… But there are exceptions:
“Wonderful Christmastime” – If this song comes on, there is an established emergency proceedure: I have to calmly turn the radio off and them ram my head into a wall several times to knock out the earwig via painful self-abuse.
“Christmas Shoes” – It’s sappy and wrong.
“Grandma..etc, etc”..I think it’s just that fucking twangy voice that makes my skin crawl. I just envision guys in stained wife-beaters sitting on the couch on the front porch laughing their heads off, tossing back Pabst Blue Ribbons and throwing the empty cans in the driveway.
“Rockin Around the Christmas Tree” No. NO BRENDA LEE. EVER. “…and we’ll do some CAR….o….ling” arrrrrrghhhh! nails!! chalkboard!!! accccck.
I thought it was “Gleem” toothpaste. Which was HILARIOUSLY mispronounced “…Meegul?” by some woman on one of the commercials. (She was reading the label upside-down.)
hi, i would like to buy the nsync songbook tittled ” home for christmas ” if you have it.