The NC Double Scrooge: Storybook Division
Submitted by Sarah D. Bunting on December 16, 2010 – 9:17 AM110 Comments
And by “storybook,” we don’t really mean books; we mean non-song narratives generally. TV specials, disappointing and desperate reunions of sitcom casts that led to even more pathetic spin-offs, craven attempts to capitalize on kidly trends, antiquated stop-motion…some of it isn’t that bad, some of it is beloved and yet still bad anyway, and some of it is just tired and needs a year off.
And then there’s this piece of dreck.
Whoever you’re over — Clarence, Tiny Tim, that guy who played Jackie Aprile Sr. — vote for them below. And cast your votes for everything else, too; the semis start tomorrow.
NC Double Scrooge, Storybook Division: Please Pick The Three (3) WORST
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Jim Carrey) (20%, 481 Votes)
- A Christmas Carol (Tori Spelling) (9%, 214 Votes)
- Polar Express (7%, 165 Votes)
- Sandra Lee's special (7%, 164 Votes)
- Star Wars/Wookiee Holiday Special (5%, 113 Votes)
- It's a Wonderful Life (4%, 110 Votes)
- A Very Brady Christmas (4%, 107 Votes)
- Jack Frost (4%, 101 Votes)
- Home Alone (4%, 97 Votes)
- The Santa Clause (4%, 93 Votes)
- A Christmas Story (4%, 93 Votes)
- Pac-Man Christmas (Christmas Comes to Pac-Land) (4%, 87 Votes)
- Frosty the Snowman (3%, 69 Votes)
- Babes in Toyland (3%, 66 Votes)
- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (3%, 64 Votes)
- While You Were Sleeping (2%, 61 Votes)
- Miracle on 34th Street (2%, 39 Votes)
- Gift of the Magi (2%, 38 Votes)
- Smurfs Christmas Special (2%, 37 Votes)
- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1%, 36 Votes)
- Charlie Brown Christmas (1%, 32 Votes)
- Scrooged (1%, 27 Votes)
- The Year Without Santa Claus (1%, 24 Votes)
- The Bishop's Wife (1%, 22 Votes)
- Bob Hope Christmas Specials (1%, 17 Votes)
- Holiday Inn (1%, 14 Votes)
- The Holiday (1%, 14 Votes)
- Christmas Comes to Walton Mountain (0%, 12 Votes)
- Best Christmas Pageant Ever (0%, 10 Votes)
- White Christmas (0%, 10 Votes)
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas (original) (0%, 8 Votes)
- The Muppets: John Denver and the Muppets, A Muppet Christmas Carol, A Muppet Family Christmas (0%, 8 Votes)
- A Christmas Carol (George C. Scott) (0%, 7 Votes)
- A Christmas Carol (Jean Luc Picard) (0%, 6 Votes)
- The House Without a Christmas Tree (0%, 5 Votes)
- Pocketful of Miracles (0%, 5 Votes)
- The Christmas Toy (0%, 3 Votes)
- The Night Before Christmas (0%, 3 Votes)
- Christmas Eve on Sesame Street (0%, 2 Votes)
- A Christmas Memory (Capote) (0%, 2 Votes)
- Blackadder Christmas Carol (0%, 2 Votes)
- Scrooge (Alastair Sim) (0%, 0 Votes)
Total Voters: 861
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Tags: Keckler marketing gone berserk NC Double Scrooge winter-holiday agita
@Keck: Maybe it was something Mathra wanted for Christmas! I didn’t want to interfere in your marriage!
@mctwin: Nestor! Oh my god, I’d forgotten about that. I think for a long time that was in the category of, “… wait, did that really happen?” Because I think I saw it once on TV when I was very small and then never saw it again and wondered if I’d imagined it.
@Profreader, Rinaldo: what pushes the Scott Christmas Carol over the top (into “perfect”) for me is really the performances of the peripheral players. I’ve seen a lot of people try to compare Scrooges, and I dig that he’s the hinge, obviously; the Scrooge makes or breaks a production. But there’s no point trying to compare some of the best Scrooges — they’re different but still good. Therefore, for me, it’s about everyone else around Scrooge. And in the Scott version, I think they did a nice job getting a cast that doesn’t fade in the face of Scott’s performance — David Warner as, not just a good guy, but Bob Cratchit? Wow. Frank Finlay? Roger Rees? But best of all, Edward Woodward as Present — daaaamn. It’s a movie where it’s NOT just all about the Scrooge performance, and that’s what makes it a joy to rewatch, for me.
@Elisa: I thought someone else would have tried to address the Grinch question by now (“why is Carrey’s version so awful?”, I believe). But here goes, even though I admitted above that I have not watched the entirety of the Carrey version (I’ve seen commercials and clips and part of a “making of” tv piece, and read many reviews).
In all honesty, I’d recommend reading the book if you can find it somewhere. It’s so short. A lot of the charm of it is in Seuss’s use of language and rhythm, and his illustrations of course. And the message is nice: the Grinch hates the noise and commercialism of Christmas, but discovers that even if you forcibly take away all of those aspects, what’s meaningful to the Whos about Christmas is the love of family and community, and that touches him.
The 1966 TV special gets everything right. It’s a half-hour (meaning, like, 23 minutes), and consists largely of Boris Karloff (!!!) just reading the poem, while master of animation Chuck Jones puts his design stamp on Seuss’s illustrations and brings them to life. Even being so short, the cartoon has to pad out the story with some musical numbers… which, IMO, are unusual in that they are all perfect, with clever lyrics and catchy, ear-wormy tunes. (You can imagine how adding songs to something could make it irritating, but they somehow dodged that bullet. Again, IMO.)
Carrey’s Grinch… well, IMO… what is charming in drawings or animation becomes creepy when made live-action. (I’m not sure it would have been as creepy done in Pixar-style computer animation.) Carrey’s performance is frenetic (when the cartoon Grinch is anything but), and even from the short clips I saw, was WAY too noddy-winky and adult in humor. It runs 104 minutes, so… remember, the cartoon took about 23 minutes and even it had to pad out the story with songs. What the hell does the movie do for 80 more minutes? Pad, pad, pad, introducing more plot elements that all the critics I’ve read suggest muddies the story, including backstory for the Grinch and interpersonal drama that sounds tedious even in the Wikipedia summary.
I have to admit, though, that I am also one of those curmudgeons who feels that since the original TV cartoon version was perfect, making it as a full-length live-action movie was unnecessary, and everything about the Carrey version sounds tin-eared. Nothing I’ve heard about it, or seen, suggests that they understood the story, and I admit, I find the design of the entire movie repulsive (rather than charming or whimsical). Carrey is a particular type of performer, and the Grinch is not a Carrey type of character, if you see what I mean, so it’s just painful to see the character forced into that mold.
I can’t believe it actually did well at the box office (it did), or that it’s not more universally panned.
This was a tough one for me. I’ve not seen a lot of these and the ones I have I like. I voted for Sandra Lee, the Tori Spelling Xmas Carol because Barf and NO respectivly. And my final vote went to Jack Frost, but I was thinking of the Dead Snowman Dad one, not the Rapey Psycho Snowman one.
@Shannon, can I join you in the defriending of any one who would vote against the Alastair Sim Christmas Carol? Best version in my book. He’s so good at being an ass and then so good at realizing he’s an ass and being sincere when he changes. Love it.
@Profreader and @Cassie I love you both for mentioning two of my all time faves, Emmet Otter and Mr.Magoo’s Christmas Carol! I have them both on DVD and watch them every year. Loved them since I was a child. I especially like the Mr.Magoo LA! LA! evil song! My family will break out into that no matter what time of year it is.
For best or for worst, I think one of the most memorable Xmess Special episodes I’ve ever seen was the “Married With Children” when Al Bundy got knocked out into an “It’s A Wonderful Life” parody, with Sam Kinnison as his guardian angel. If Jimmy Stewart’s George Bailey had gotten Sam Kinnison’s Clarence yelling at him, it would’ve cleared out that deaf ear in a helluva hurry.
@Lynne – I have always felt that way about Gift of the Magi. I find it utterly heartbreaking, not uplifting. Ugh. Makes me feel all dead and hurt inside just thinking about it. The Bert and Ernie version in Christmas Eve on Sesame Street is at least redeemed by Mr. Hooper bringing back their treasured possessions at the end. It’s all the beauty of the selfless sacrifice for the other person without the emotional cup of pee in the face over the fact that the sacrifice renders the gifts useless.
@Holly: I couldn’t agree more about the casting of all the other characters in the GC Scott Christmas Carol — I didn’t want to get into it before for fear of getting us sidetracked, but now that we’re there… Oh Yes! David Warner cast against type (and thus saving Bob Cratchit from meek wimpery); Susannah York; Roger Rees making a rich character from almost nothing as Fred; and on and on. Edward Woodward, for sure. THAT’s how that character is supposed to look and be.
Babes in Toyland is an awesome movie and eminently quotable. My sister and I just did a round of “Slowly slowly he sank in to the sea” at Thanksgiving.
Let us pussyfoot!
@Bria: “It’s all the beauty of the selfless sacrifice for the other person without the emotional cup of pee in the face over the fact that the sacrifice renders the gifts useless.”
That is the most brilliant, concise explanation of just how I feel about the ending of Gift of the Magi. Those sorts of “it’s a twist!” endings (especially de Maupassant’s “The Necklace”) always gave me pain as a child — practically literal pain.
Echoing everyone else who applauds the supporting cast of the George C. Scott “A Christmas Carol.” I remember reading about it when it first came out — they were really aiming to make the definitive version. I think they succeeded. I love Susannah York, Roger Rees, David Warner … and a Tiny Tim who is not too saccharine. And the Ghosts … ethereal Past (not leaving out the children under her skirt), the incredible giant Present, and the creepiest Yet to Come… really fantastic.
Interestingly, although I love Alistair Sim’s performance, that movie is one that departs the most from the original story (which is certainly slim to begin with), with the various details in the backstory. I think the story is definitely malleable enough to handle it, but it’s worth knowing.
Someone upthread mentioned A Smoky Mountain Christmas….I LOVE(d) that movie! Mid-80s Dolly Parton, adorable urchins, AND an evil witch? It’s worth the price of admission just to see Dolly play the guitar with those nails.