1. Pick up a dreaming cat
You can pick up a sleeping cat, although I would not advise picking up a sleeping cat of mine without memorizing the manual first, specifically the parts which advise you …

Summer is drawing to a close, and what better time than the back-to-school season for an “exposé” on the mainstreaming of nerd culture? It seems like we see a piece like this in the New …

Come here, chorus of De La Soul‘s “Potholes In My Lawn,” into the chorus of which I can fit the words “cat barf in my shoe” perfectly, and thank the Lord, because apparently there’s no …

A year ago, when I moved into this apartment, I thought I’d scored by getting a pad right above a deli, which would allow me to run errands in my pajama pants if necessary. Ran …

I love the weather right now. Fall is absolutely my favorite season — all the fuzzy-sweater-wearing, tights-with-boots-matching fun of winter, none of the chapped skin on my chin and the foregoing wearing necklaces because they …

Dear Tweety T-Shirt,
If you speak English — which I know you do, because I’ve heard you muttering offendedly in the direction of a People magazine story on Nick and Jessica for the last fifteen minutes …

So, I’ve got an office job now. Well, in the sense that it’s a job for which I go to an office. It’s not an IBM cube-farm situation where I have to wear pantyhose and …

Don’t get me wrong: I appreciate the New York City subway system. I do. It gets me where I need to go, it’s reliable most of the time, and it is bar none the best …

Instead of working, I would like to:
Paint the wall I’ve meant to paint since I moved in seven months ago, which is in a state of decorating indecision as a result, since why hang anything …