Notice that bottom of underwear drawer is visible.
Let two days pass.
Notice that most of bottom of underwear drawer is visible. Also notice rather gungy appearance of bathmat.
Let two days pass.
Spend ten minutes searching sock drawer …

“Check the back of the TV where the wires lead into the TiVo.”
“I DID that.”
“So you’re sure they’re leading to the right –”
“YES I’m sure they’re leading to the right outputs! What am I, STUPID?”
“It’s …

Well, it’s over — fortunately for everyone, because if I had to hear one more person observe in a tone of unconvinced weariness that “it’s the best system in the world,” I’d have doused my …

Today, my fellow jurors and I heard the fifth day of testimony in the case. Today, my fellow jurors and I watched as the courtroom turned into A/V Club, with videos and x-rays and dry-erase …

I have a good relationship with the doormen in my building. We chit-chat about baseball; we gossip about the other people in the building. I don’t tell anyone when I round a corner and see …

A few weeks ago, New York Magazine ran a cover story entitled “Yoga Now,” which purported to follow the author’s personal yoga journey after the events of September 11. Yes, you read that correctly. “Personal …

The time eventually comes each year — usually in early October, but it varies, depending on the weather — for me to gather up all of my sandals and slides and summery shoes and put …

Dear God,
What next? Seriously. I’d like to know. What’s going to happen next? What could possibly happen now? What else can You dump on New York City that You haven’t already? What is going through …

Yearbook pages followed a strict blueprint at my high school. Mrs. McPherson gave us a square of blue graph paper, and a couple of weeks later we brought it back to her, a professional photo …

Regina: So then he’s all, “Okay, well, bye,” and I’m all, “Okay, well, bye, except WHAT THE FUCK DUDE,” and he’s like, “Errr, I have people over, so,” and I’m like, “Oh, well, that’s just …