Speaking as a pre-op transman, I’d say just ask her how she would prefer to
be addressed.The conversation could go a little like this: “Hey, I’m not
sure how you want to be addressed and I want …

Since you have lived in New York City, I’m sure you have some perspective on this problem.How do I treat the homeless/poor people I encounter with dignity without giving them money?I do not want to …

Note: The answer to yesterday’s “you/your visiting” grammar-nundrum is found under “fused participles” in the Garner.I never would have looked there in a billion years.Thanks, AB Chao!

Sars,
I met Joe through a personal ad six weeks …

Hey Sars —
About two years before I met my now-fiance, he purchased a home. To call it a fixer-upper would be an understatement — the house had not been lived in for 10 years …

Hi Sars, love your site.I have kind of an odd question for you.Back in the day I grew up on the same block as a Very Famous Author.He, like anyone who has some amount of …

Dear Sars,
I have recently moved to a brand new town, a brand new
apartment, and a brand new set of roommates. It
sounded ideal when I was signing the third year lease
on my last apartment, and for …

Dear Sars,
My problem?I feel like, and possibly am, a COLOSSAL ASS.The story?On an otherwise normal Sunday evening, one in which the fiancé was out of town, I settled in with a couple of glasses of …

After arguing with my word processor’s dictionary for a while, I called
a time-out and came to you.
“Toward” or “towards,” Sars? “Backward” or “backwards”? “Inward” or “inwards”? I’m
guessing “toward” and “backward,” because ‘”he moved forwards” sounds
stupid. …

I’ve seen several letters to several advice columnists (I’m addicted to them all, and welcome links to others not on my daily read list) regarding inappropriate questioning.For example, you recently ran a couple of letters …

Dear Sars:
I have a serious problem.I have the strong urge to throw the nearest heavy
object through my television when, trying to be an informed citizen, I turn
on CNN, MSNBC, or any other news channel with …