Regina: So then he’s all, “Okay, well, bye,” and I’m all, “Okay, well, bye, except WHAT THE FUCK DUDE,” and he’s like, “Errr, I have people over, so,” and I’m like, “Oh, well, that’s just …

Sarah: So you just left?
Regina: Yeah.
Sarah: Just grabbed your bag and —
Regina: Hell yeah!
Sarah: No explanation. Nothing.
Regina: Dude. He ordered a girl drink. It’s not like I could stay there.
Sarah: What kind of girl drink?
Regina: …

You could say, “Oh, come on, now,” to the rain as you and Gustave walk to Penn Station. Then you could comment that your hair already looks like a terrifying cross between Willow’s on Buffy …

An entire cottage industry of humor — or, more accurately, “humor” — has sprung up around the following apocryphal sequence of events: woman emerges from dressing room, bathroom, or other outfitting alcove; woman strikes pose …

Last Friday night, midway through the fifth hour of a six-hour drinkfest with Jonesey, I did something stupid. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I ordered a Budweiser. And another. Aaaaand another. I don’t know why I …

“Ow.”
“I know.”
“You got coffee, though.”
“Yeah. Oh! Did you want one? I mean, was I supposed to get you one?”
“No. I mean — well, it wouldn’t do much good at this point anyway. So what’s with …

So the two of you get in the car at 8:47 in the morning for the ten-hour land-speed dash to Toronto. You’ve got coffee. You’ve got snacks. You’ve got maps. It’s snowing to beat the …

Ernie and I had a lengthy conversation the other day, as we do almost every day, because we can never just get by with the “hey, how’s it going” check-in and have to complain about …

I helped my best friend move last Friday. Ernie had to move a bunch of stuff from her old old apartment, which she’d sold, to her more recent old apartment, which she’d vacated after a …

To my surprise, I actually survived my fifth-year college reunion. To say that I did not want anything to do with the reunion understates the case rather dramatically; in fact, I actively dreaded this gathering …