An inauspicious beginning
It’s hot, again. Brutally hot, again. “Like living in the convection-current animation from the as-seen-on-TV food dehydrator commercial” hot. Aaaaaaa-gain. We went to an outdoor concert last night and drank too much beer; …

So, I decided to move the week before Christmas, which, who in this fine old world has better timing than I? Nobody. No. Body. Well, maybe my own sinuses, which — coated in a shag …

Ninety-five percent of the ping-pong I’ve played, I’ve played on a single table. The table is in the basement of my aunt and uncle’s house on Cape Cod, in the laundry room, and the house …

You know that expression about how every happy family is the same, but every un-happy family is unhappy in its own way? I think it’s from Anna Karenina. Anyway, I have a number of theories …

You have the beginnings of a cold, and after pressurizing and depressurizing twice in the air, you’ve gone deaf in one ear, and when you get off the plane, you almost hit your head on …

Driving home from Toronto the other night, I ran into snow right around Syracuse, a turn of meteorological events which I actually welcomed, suffering as I do from a disorder known to the layperson as …

We used to have a pretty close relationship, snow and I. Snow used to hook me up with days off school, and in return I’d defend snow to my mom, who feared everything about snow …

When cocktail conversation turns to epically bad and/or strange taxicab experiences, and it frequently does, all of my show-stopping stories seem to come from outside New York City. An x-ray taken of my thoracic cavity …

I never remember, on the way to Penn Station, how much I love taking the train. On the way to Penn Station, I have to concentrate very hard on other things, things like not running …

I am tired
The car comes for me at 5:45 AM. I stayed up all night, but everything is done — the cats went to the kennel, the clothes came out of the dryer, the legs …