The Vine, Anniversary Edition: April 22, 2010
Hi Sars,
I’m hoping that the infamous TN reader knowledge can help me out here. I’m looking for long johns that aren’t “squeezy” in the waistband. I both dislike the feeling, and wear an insulin pump on my stomach, so I need something that won’t irritate it.
Ideally, I’d like to find some silk-type long johns with a waistband that is more like a pajama-style pant, wide and the same tightness as the top of the pant. It seems that most brands make a narrow elastic that is many inches tighter than the top of the pant.
If anybody knows about a brand or particular style that is like this, I’d love to hear about it!
Damned New England winters!
*****
After way, way, WAY too long in grad school, I am finally about to start my first “real” job. I’m set with pretty grown-up clothes and just got a nice makeover from a friend who’s a makeup artist, but I’ve got two problems I was hoping for some help with.
1) Waterproof mascara: My eyes appear to leak some sort of boric acid during the day that destroys the waterproofing in most mascaras. This means that however nice my eyes look at the start of the day, by about midday I’ve got smeared black under them. Sometimes this makes for an awesome smokey-eye look; most of the time I just look like I don’t quite understand how makeup works.
Makeup Artist friend recommended L’Oreal Voluminous Waterproof, but while it did make my lashes look great, it had no power against my eye water. I’ve tried the normal drugstore brands and am wondering if one of the more expensive ones will work better, but I don’t want to drop the money without a good rec.
2) Giant rats’ nests in my hair: I’ve got long hair that I like to wear down. When I do this in the winter, I inevitably end up with a large rats’ nest at the back, apparently due to the hair rubbing against my sweater/scarf/coat/anything at all. It’s pretty noticeable and quite annoying to deal with.
Wearing my hair up to avoid it isn’t an option because of my horrible vanity (I don’t like how it looks up) and because my hair also has magic powers: it can hold a rubber-band kink for hours after said rubber band has been removed.
Is there some product for my hair I could use to avoid this? Or should I be producting my clothes, static-guarding the hell out of them?
Any tips would be appreciated!
I was going for the “absentminded professor” look, not the “sad dumped chick who got back too late from the ’80s dance at the club” look
Dear Absent,
We talked about waterproof mascaras a few years ago. See if you find anything workable in that list.
You don’t seem to want to do this, but I’d recommend just cutting your hair shorter for the winter months, and letting it grow out for summer, when static is less of an issue. You could also try using a little light hand lotion on the ends to cut down on flyaways and tangles; my hair isn’t long, but it’s fine, and that helps me in hat weather.
But if you don’t want to cut it and you won’t put it up…there may not be a lot you can do.
Hi Sars!
Long-time reader, first-time question-asker, blah blah blah.
I’ve been trying to find a copy of a holiday children’s book that used to be my mother’s, so it was probably published in the 1960s. The story revolved around a young girl, age 7 or 8, who lived in the woods with her family. I want to say that she was the youngest of several children, mostly boys.
The book went into detail about how the family prepared for Christmas. Most notably I remember the girl shelling almonds with her friend, and then having her father walk the two of the girls back to her friend’s house at night. The end of the story has the girl hiding in a bedroom while the family prepares her present for her, which ends up being a huge homemade dollhouse that the whole family made.
I think the book was set in the 1800s or so, since there was no mention of modern conveniences. It definitely wasn’t Little House in the Big Woods!
I’ve tried the Google, but the references are too vague to find anything. I really thought I’d find the book when I moved out of my parents’ house a couple of months ago and searched the sea of young adult books in their basement, but no such luck. I’m really hoping a reader can point me in the right direction!
How awesome are BSC books twenty years later?
*****
Hi, I’ve recently started working as a copy editor (the only copy editor) at an alt-weekly. After a few days of “Wow, I certainly never had to consider the question of whether something goes tits up or tits-up back at the daily,” I’ve started compiling a little spreadsheet stylebook of the stuff that pops up fairly often in alt-weekly writing but is a bit too lowbrow, obscure or whatever to be covered by AP or Garner.
I’m trying to patch the holes with information from various places that I think are reputable on a certain topic (like grabbing GLAAD’s guide on how to refer to transgender people when the AP is pretty lacking), but seriously, there is nowhere reputable that is specifically like, “Use ‘cum’ when referring to ejaculate and ‘come’ as a verb meaning ‘to climax.'”
I’ve been trying to track down a stylebook from one of the mainstream porn mags, and I vaguely remember that you had mentioned working as a proofreader at Penthouse. Don’t suppose you (or the readers!) have a copy of their style sheet handy or would be able to point me at some other definitive guide to dirty words?
I could just write it myself, or perhaps stop being such a freak about needing a reference for everything, but yeah, I’m feeling a little “started two weeks ago” to be dictating style points for the whole paper off the top of my head and I’d also rather not be running around asking nitpicky, jizz-related questions all the time.
Oh, and my Philly teacher friend says thanks to you and Tomato Nation for the projector!
Emily
Dear Emily,
If I recall correctly, Penthouse just used “come” for everything, noun and verb; I think there was a style “manual,” but it was one Xeroxed sheet. Again, this is a while ago now, so they may have had something more formal and I just don’t remember, or didn’t get one.
Anyone have access to something like this? It seems like territory Dan Savage might have covered at some point, if one of you can furnish a link.
Hi, Sars —
This is probably a more appropriate question for a qualified medical professional than an Ask the Readers letter, but I’m health-insurance-free at the moment, so I’m hoping y’all can help me out a little.
My problem is this: whenever I lie down, I get a stuffy nose. Either my left or right nostril seals up completely. This has happened since about as far back as I can remember. I’ve ruled out allergies, because it happens even if I’m on a bare floor, or in the yard outside. I barely ever smoke, I’m not prone to sinus infections or anything, and I’m told that I don’t snore.
It’s not that big of a deal; it’s just annoying, and makes it more difficult for me to fall asleep. Do you or your readers have this problem, or any idea what causes it? Or at least a good way to alleviate a stuffy nose? Neti pots and saline spray do nothing for me. The hardcore Afrin stuff works pretty well, but you can’t use that for more than two or three nights in a row.
Continually Congested
Tags: Ask The Readers grammar health and beauty popcult
@Absent: My eyes are like that — they water all the time and the Loreal I used to use started running all the time.
Tarte’s Lights, Camera, Lashes! http://tinyurl.com/24dofrb has gotten me through two humid as hell Alabama summers and barely smudged even in a cold Philly downpour. There is a waterproof version, but I haven’t even bothered with it because the regular kind stays put so well. It’s a bit pricey, but very worth it.
@absent
My hair hasn’t been cut in ~24 years, and I am familiar with the nape of the neck issues you are talking about. I found that using a really solid conditioner during the winter months helped. Sars’s suggestion about hand lotion might work if you do it just on that nape of the neck hair.
I also think that anti-static on the shirt might help.
The tangles mostly happen at the ends of the hair, so if you can avoid things that catch the nape of the neck hair and keep it short, that will help in the long run. I avoid clothes with buttons at the nape of the neck and I try to avoid necklaces with latches that snag hair. I used to have a lot of rats nests and I don’t now, perhaps part of that is about being too lazy to accessorize most days .
In addition, keep a real hairbrush in your desk drawer and just wander off to the bathroom when the snarls get bad.
Hope something in here helps
@NE winters. Chech out Jockey long johns, the ones made with bamboo/modal (something like that, I can’t remember). They are super soft amd the waistband is very narrow but not really elastic, sometime I almost feel like they are loose at the top. I recommend trying them on or buying one size down, because they do seem to run large. I get mine at the outlet mall, where they are much more affordable, but I don’t know if the outlets will be stocking them this time of year. Good luck!
I must be Continually Congested’s twin! I have no idea of the cause, or solution, but it is annoying. I flip and flop all night from sleeping on one side to the other, to try to clear one nostril, only to find the other nostril congested. Once upon a time, a former doctor looked up my nose and mumbled something about how some issue could be fixed. So I suspect it is anatomical in nature, but I haven’t pursued this.
I’m not a make-up person (at all) but I’ve recently tried L’Oreal Double Extend with Lash Boosting Serum mascara and not only did it not wear off or run during the day for me, it didn’t run when I forgot to take it off before going to the gym that evening (usually if I’m wearing mascara and doing anything that leads to sweat I end up looking like the sad clown with black running down my face). Its a bit on the pricey side for drugstore makeup, but still only about $12 or so I think.
Absent, tube mascara! It’s kind of creepy and doesn’t hold any sort of eyelash curl but it definitely avoids teh smudgies.
Also, try dusting under your eyes with transluscent powder to soak up the oils that are the likely culprit of your smudging.
@Congested: have you tried Breathe Right strips? I always scoffed at them (“how can putting something across the top of my nose relieve stuffiness inside me nose?”) but for some reason I picked them up one day and OMG they’re amazing for me. I feel this jolt of oxygen and clear breathing. Even when I’m not congested I sleep with one on – I sleep so much deeper when I have them.
Just get the right size (they come in Large or Small/Med) because it’s really annoying for them to pop off.
For #1, try Cuddl Duds. They have a bit of elastic in the waistband, but it’s narrow and mild.
For Congested, it could easily be a dust allergy; or it could be “chronic rhinitis”, which is what they say it is for me, because they swear I’m allergic to nothing. In winter, humidify (it seems counterintuitive but I find it helps); use the Breathe Right nasal strips, which work out to about twenty-five cents per; try regular nasal irrigation, which works for a lot of people; and consider real pseudoephedrine (Sudafed, not Sudafed PE, which is phenylephrine). I find pseudoephedrine to work quite well (and PE not at all) — but it is a stimulant for most people, and you have to show photo ID to buy it in the US.
@NEWinters: Try outdoor/adventure outfitters for good longjohns. You don’t say if you’re male or female, but arbitrarily assuming female, have a look at these: http://tinyurl.com/26f52t5. If the arbitrary assumption is wrong, sorry & have a look at the corresponding men’s product. The store is in Canada & is a co-op, but the lifetime membership fee is only $5 CDN, and they ship to the USA. Their house brand stuff is pretty good quality – I still have 2 pairs of longjohns I bought in high school (20+ years ago – ayyy) for cross-country skiing, though they are looking a tad ratty, and their fleece stuff is awesome.
Absent:
How long is your hair? I had long, thick hair that ran either to my shoulder blades or longer for years because anything shorter seemed too short, but I’ve discovered that about an inch or two over my shoulder blades gives the impression of very long hair without being quite so difficult to manage.
Congested:
Are you absolutely sure it’s not allergies? You could have very mild environmental allergies to both indoor and outdoor substances, as I do. I find Alavert (24 hour over the counter non drowsy antihistamine) really helps keep the stuffiness at bay, though during peak pollen season I often have to supplement it (my doctor gave me Astelin nasal spray which I use at night and am actually sleeping all through the night in mid-spring for the first time in years). You might also try a humidifier and see if extra moisture will help keep your nasal passages open.
Absent,
I have the same hair issue sometimes and it’s so very painful to detangle. What helps is some sort of silicon-y smoothing serum like John Frieda’s Frizz Ease. It makes for less friction between your hair and the clothing and a LOT fewer tangles. Just rub a bit between your palms, flip your head over and rub over and finger comb the underside and the nape area. Get your ends too and you’ll be all smooth for the day!
@NE Winters: Can you just cut out the elastic and string a drawstring through the casing? I mean…the actual fabric AROUND the elastic is probably the same size as the rest of the long johns (so that it can stretch enough to make it over your bum!), so just…cut a slit in the casing, cut the elastic, and use a safety pin to guide some ribbon or a nice long shoelace or something through there.
@Absent – you want Fiberwig mascara. Get it from Sephora, deal with the price, and be totally amazed. It’s the very, very best mascara I’ve ever encountered. Lengthens, separates, doesn’t clump, and I swear I can sleep on my face with it on without a single smudge. LOVE.
@Continually Congested: Oh, wow! I thought I was the only person who had that problem. I wish I had some advice for you, but since it’s more of an annoyance than an actual medical concern, I’ve just learned to live with it. Plus, our problem may be slightly different anyway because I snore like a buzzsaw.
It does sound like you’ve been good about only using the nasal sprays (like Afrin) as directed, but in case you’re ever tempted to go an extra day or two – don’t. I once went past the recommended number of days and my nose got, like, addicted or something, to the point where I couldn’t breathe at all if I didn’t use the spray. Weaning myself off that was not fun.
@Absent: twist your hair into a loose french twist kind if thing, and secure it with chopsticks (real or special hair ones), or pens. It will keep it tangle free for your commute, and won’t leave any kinks. I have the same problem, and chopsticks are the answer! And, way cuter than a plastic clip while you’re on the go!
Absent, what kind of conditioner do you use? There have been winters where I’ve used super-cheap conditioner for a week (like on vacation), and wearing a hoodie during that week made my hair nearly unbrushable from the rats’ nest in the back. My hair is generally manageable enough that using Pantene instead of Suave works for me, but you might buy a bottle of whatever expensive stuff your stylist recommends the next time you get a haircut and see if that helps.
Absent – Johnson & Johnson make a product for kids called “No More Tangles” and I use it on my daughter’s stick-straight hair right out of the shower and occasionally on non-shower days when there’s a need. Works amazingly well.
@Absent If your hair tangles because it’s fine, adding some texture with a product may help. I had this problem until I started adding a tiny (emphasis on the TINY) dab of Garnier Fructis Surf Hair pomade. http://www.amazon.com/Garnier-Fructis-Style-Texture-Strong/dp/B000GCUWPU Pretty cheap, available in drugstores, and a jar lasts forEVER due to the aforementioned TINY amount of product necessary. And if you’re anti-product because you (or your guy) can feel it in your hair, worry not, you barely notice this stuff. It also gives a nice little bit of volume. Just rub it between your palms and then toussle your hair.
Congested: You want to stay away from that Afrin. That stuff’s worse than heroin, from what I hear.
But you know those dork-tastic Breathe-Right strips that you stick on your nose when you go to bed at night? They really do work! After a couple days’ practice, you’ll figure out the right place to put them on your nose and it will cut down on that “lie down-stuff up” problem. In my experience, the brand-name Breathe-Right strips work much better than the generic drugstore brand. Also, even though you don’t have health insurance, do you have a flexible spending account (FSA)? Because those strips are reimbursable.
Good luck, and happy breathing!
Based on my own personal research, the word “cum” didn’t even appear in the vernacular until the 21st century.
And, frankly, spelling it “cum” looks like something that you’d expect from a high-school girl who’s not really mature enough to be encountering the substance in question.
Absent, I have baby hair that’s fine and limp & will not do as its told, so my hair’s been to my waist since 6th grade…it’s the only style I can manage. I use Pantene shampoos and conditioners, and before I brush my hair I run the brush under a running faucet for a sec. That seems to help me brush without creating more static. Also, I try to buy scarves that don’t have a lot of cool wooly textures but instead are smooth and silky and unsnarly. I have rubbed the back of my coats with dryer sheets.(I tried that Static Guard spray, but the stench is more than I can bear – what is IN that stuff? Pressurized evil?) I can still build up enough static charge to electrocute a full grown man, but no snarls.
Emily, I thought of Dan Savage too. You must have a very awesome job! “running around asking nitpicky, jizz-related questions all the time.” cracked me up.
CC, I’d bet you have a deviated septum. However, I am not a doctor, I don’t even play one on television…but that was something my BFF complained about & she no longer has the trouble since she had the surgery done. Her recovery was gross, she says, but worth it!
Congested: Once you’re re-insured, get thee to an otorhinolaryngologist! That sounds an awful lot like you might have a deviated septum or other excess tissue growth in the sinus cavity. Your friendly neighborhood ear-nose-and-throat specialist can get you an accurate diagnosis and recommend a course of treatment. Which, to be honest, is probably surgery. (I probably have to go this route next year. Joy.)
In the meantime, try using a couple of those Breathe Right nasal strips. I find if I have one in the recommended location and another just above it, it opens my nasal passages enough that I can sleep.
I usually have long hair and I don’t use product on it normally. In the bad static of winter, I’ll put some lotion on it. Frankly, I think I run my fingers through the nape of my hair (does that make sense) to keep the back of the head rat’s nest under control. I don’t stand around all dreamy finger combing, but I do (and I think its habit, so maybe I do it more than I think) finger comb throughout the day. Especially when I’ve been in/out and the hair gone through a messier situation. Also, how are your ends? I usually only end up getting a trim every 3-6 months months (yeah, it varies widely), but I think hair is easier to brush if the ends are neat. Even if you’re growing it out (or continually growing it out), trimming the ends keeps its manageable (in my opinion).
@Congested, welcome to my world. I am “mildly” allergic to dust. My sister, who has congestion to rival…I don’t even know what congestion would rival, but maybe the Lincoln Tunnel…had no allergies and a deviated septum. So, off I went to the allergist because surely the congestion we experience is NOT. NORMAL. Ahh says he, its “non-allergic rhinitis.” He prescribed a nasal mist, not Flonase or Nasonex, but something called Astelin (comes in a better tasting version called Aste-pro). Snort it couple times a day, and after a couple days, congestion much improved. In short, you might look into getting a doc to give you a ‘scrip for it.
I’m with Leah: tube mascara. (I use Blinc Kiss Me.) I have contact lenses, and also have a Makeup-Eating Crease under my eyes, to which almost anything I put into my eyesockets will migrate by lunchtime. Tube mascara is the ONLY thing (including some other recs I see here on the thread, and anything I’ve tried that was allegedly “waterproof”) that doesn’t end up giving me eyes like a football player’s. It will very occasionally flake off the lashes, if I forget and rub my eyes hard, but other than that, it doesn’t budge until you get it wet – at which time, it comes off with great ease, and no need for extra makeup remover. (I’ve never liked the oily feeling of makeup remover.)
@Absent: I may not know whereof I speak because my hair only gets to mid-back length before I commence with a reduction in force. BUT, my hair is color-treated, and I live in bone-dry Utah, so I’m no stranger to the snarls. (I also have nerve damage in my scalp that makes de-ratting hurt like a MELON-FARMER.)
You know Johnson & Johnson’s No More Tangles? The spray-in conditioner for little kids? Usually you find it in the baby aisle; these days it’s in kind of a teal-ish plastic bottle. I’m still using it at age 28. OK, actually I’m using the Walgreens knockoff, which works equally well. (White bottle.)
Worst case scenario, you’re out four bucks and the salesclerk looks at you funny. Good luck.
@Absent: In case you are really, really opposed to a haircut here is a quick suggestion for dodging static-y hair – dryer sheets. Sounds crazy and yet still logical, right? You run it over the strands and it helps keep them from going nuts. Maybe just do a quick swipe at lunch to keep the worst offenders in line.
Absent – if you do cut your hair, consider donating. I used to get horrible rat’s nests at the nape when I wore headbands, I guess from the friction of the headband pulling up a little all the time. I never solved that problem, just quit wearing headbands, which doesn’t help you at all, does it? I just donated so my hair is short right now, but I’ll keep the answers you get in mind for when it gets long again.
Congested – I have the same thing, but do have allergies. I also have a deviated septum which I suspect could be your issue as well (perhaps what your doctor was refering to). My husband had his deviated septum “fixed” and the surgery and recovery is bearable if extremely uncomfortable.
@Absent – I have long, thick, unruly hair that tangles easily, and is prone to the rat’s nests you’re referring to.
To alleviate these things, I use a very thick conditioner in the shower, and I always use a liberal amount of leave-in conditioner afterwards. Of course, my hair is also very dry, so if you tend more to the oily, you might want to use the deep conditioner once or twice a week instead of every day.
I’d recommend the brand called “It’s a 10” – stupid name, but they have great leave-in and deep conditioners. You can usually find them at places that sell salon brands like Trade Secret. The combo really helps, but if you want to just pick one (they’re expensive), go with the leave-in.
Sorry, it was a commenter that had seen a doctor, not Congested.
Continually Congested (and others): very likely, it’s acid reflux (GERD). Even a mild case can produce sinus congestion (your sinuses overproduce mucus to counteract the acid that’s coming back up into the sinuses when you lay down flat). I had the same problem for 3 years before I was correctly diagnosed (including multiple MRIs of my sinuses and lungs). I never had heartburn or any of the other symptoms typically associated with acid reflux. Just chronic congestion, and then later, a persistent, nagging cough at night.
Rather than go on Prevacid or any other Rx, my doctor suggested the following things:
— I raised just the head of my bed up on blocks ( http://www.amazon.com/Wood-Bed-Lifters-Mahogany-4-5/dp/B000L3OHRS/ref=pd_bxgy_k_img_b )
— I lost 20 pounds (over the course of six months).
— I followed the basic recommended dietary changes my doctor suggested, and very rarely (if ever) eat tomatoes, citrus, pineapple, mint, chocolate, dairy, caffeine, alcohol). This is not to say that I NEVER eat/drink these things, because sometimes I do. But never more than one at a time, and always in very small quantities. But I went six months completely eliminating them to get my body back to normal and it was well worth the effort.
Getting that diagnosis completely changed my life. I had no idea the impact the nighttime congestion was having on my sleep and overall well being until it wasn’t there anymore. Energy levels changed for the better, my next physical was markedly better in the bloodwork department, and life was pretty freakin’ good. I didn’t miss those foods at all after about a month, because my body changed what it craved. I love science. :)
There’s more info about acid reflux here:
http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/gerd/
Hope that helps!
Absent–seconding the recommendation to try something silicon-based. You could try some pretty heavy use on the underside without getting much of a collapsed effect, I think.
Congested–I too would suggest you not write off the allergy theory. A mild reaction can remain unnoticeable until you lie down, and it certainly doesn’t have to be related to what you’re lying down on. Things you might try just for the hell of it: OTC medication such as Clairitin; Nasalcrom (also OTC, intranasal squirty stuff); nasal saline rinses. The last is painless, but it does suck the glamour out of your life for a few moments; however, it may solve the problem for you after that, so you could find it a fair trade.
Absentminded – tried anything besides just a hair elastic? a clip might do wonders.
Congested – You might have some allergies, I’ve been on a prescrip nasal steroid like fluticasone for years that seems to help with that sort of thing. Have you asked a doctor at all?
Absent –
I, too, have the magic kink-holding hair. Is your coat/scarf/sweater wool? That will always make my hair tangle. You don’t say how long your hair is, but if your coat is wool, a silk scarf over your shoulders might be enough to separate your hair from the wool. Also, it helps if I pull my hair over my shoulder to the front when I drive or sit in a high-backed chair, so it’s not being rubbed between my back and the seat.
@NE Winters: I have a pair of silk long johns from LL Bean. You might be able to find a good price this time of year too. The waistband is elastic, but seems loose. I wear a size smaller in those than I do in normal pants.
Congested, have you tried sticking an extra pillow under your head to prop it up a little more? I usually do that when I have a cold just to keep everything from settling in my head. Also, I second the idea for the Breathe-Right strips–those things are pretty cool.
NE Winters: Here are the silk long johns from REI: http://www.rei.com/product/739023 and they have that nice, wide, fabric-covered/shirred waistband rather than the rubbery, clingy kind. I wore these when I was ski racing as a teen and they are seriously warm. Patagonia also makes a nice silk longjohn, but their waistbands tend to be more tightly elasticized.
Continually Congested: I have the same problem (or what sounds like the same problem), and it’s caused by nasal polyps (ew), coupled with seasonal allergies. I agree with one of the other commenters that you may have mild seasonal or environmental allergies that are exacerbating the issue, but I’d bet polyps are the primary culprit.
The bad news: Getting them removed sucks hardcore (from what I’ve heard/read, recovery is a beeyotch) and, unfortunately, doesn’t at all guarantee that they won’t come right back. I’ve retrained myself to sleep on my back during the last year (after being a lifelong side-sleeper/flipper), and it makes a huge difference.
My doctor also prescribed me Astelin, a prescription-strength antihistamine nasal spray. I use it every night about an hour before I go to bed. If I do that and then sleep on my back, I’m good about 99 percent of the time.
Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer. I hope you can find a way to deal with the annoyance!
@Absent – I have the same problem and my usual solution is to put my hair up but without a rubber band. I just twist it up with a wooden comb (like hair sticks but one piece) and then I don’t get any of the kink sorts of things. I take it back down once I’m inside without the scarf and the wool coat that cause the tangles, and can put it up fairly quickly and easily when I want to wrap up again.
The other thing I do is, as previous commenters have mentioned, keep a brush handy and just brush often — whenever I’m about to step out of the car or whenever I stop at a restroom, something like that.
Regarding the mascara question, I just had this same conversation with a woman at the Benefit counter while getting my eyebrows done. On her recommendation (which I obviously take with a slight grain of salt) I picked up their Bad Gal Lash Waterproof Mascara, and I’ve been using it for about a week with good results. I had been using Great Lash for ages, and always had the same smudging problem. So I recommend the Benefit stuff myself.
@ Emily,
I think you should ask nitpicky questions about jizz and then post the conversations to Overheard in the Office. I think there would be a lot of comedy waiting to discovered at an alt-weekly.
Congested, the problem might be anatomical — you might have a deviated septum or two. As long as I’m upright, no congestion. Go prone, and it’s not too long before I’m stuffed. Any ENT can diagnose you, and the procedure to fix it is out-patient (uncomfortable for a few days thereafter). Both I and my sibling have the condition (Thanks mom!). Sib opted for the surgery, and has been pleased. Since I sing, I fuss over whether changing the shape of my instrument will change its output*, so I’ve not had the procedure. I cope by taking a swallow of Children’s Dimetapp before bed. The decongestant in it is weak, but enough to allow me to fall asleep.
*This may well be an unreasonable concern. But since I am still getting relief with a non-surgical approach, I’m willing to be unreasonable.
To add: on those occasions when I have a cold and need extra effort to open the sinuses up, Breathe Right strips are gold.
I’ll second Carolyn’s suggestion of L’Oreal Double Extend mascara. It’s totally different from other mascaras. It creates little tubes on each lash, and they will NOT come off until you get your eyes wet and then sort of slide them off. You end up with little bitty black tubes on your washcloth or your fingers. It sounds weird, and it is, but there is NO smudging whatsoever, and I have even slept with this mascara on and taken it off the next day without any issues.
@Congested: I second the nasal saline rinses. Get yourself a Neti pot and use that sucker every day- in the shower is good, or over the sink just before bed. It’s kind of gross, but damn, does it ever clear out the sinuses. My friend’s dad has been using a Neti for like 40 years and to my knowledge has never had a cold. I use mine about 4 times a week and notice when I don’t. Good luck- chronic congestion sucks major arse.
Absent here – just wanted to say thanks! All of these suggestions sound great. The best part is that since I have two small kids, I can walk into the store and get No More Tangles without any funny looks at all. I’ll definitely try out some of the mascaras, too. You guys are great!
Hah, funny thing about “cum”–at the publication I work for, I recently encountered it in a proof for a section that was supposed to be written in texting-type language. They did not mean it in the sexual way. I advised them to use the traditional spelling.
It was almost as good as the time a columnist tried describing an influx of tourists as an economic “golden shower.” We eventually convinced her to make the change, but, being unfamiliar with the phrase, she put up more of a fight than she should have.
@NE winters, I’ll build off cayenne’s comment and suggest an outdoor outfitter, but suggest that you might have good luck at an REI, if one is close to you (or a local variant). My REI had a ton of long john styles, in different fabrics and cuts, and other kinds of pants designed to layer and be warm. Best part is you can try them on to see how you like the fit. Now might not be the best time of year to find a good selection, though I’m hoping you don’t actually need them this time of year either. Good luck!
@nsfinch – sadly, thanks to health care reform, the nose strips (and pretty much anything else over the counter) won’t be reimburseable through an FSA much longer. Effective 1/1/11, only stuff purchased with a prescription and insulin will be reimburseable. just a heads up.
To Congested – If you live in a dry climate and/or take any herbals that thin the blood like ginseng, you want to be really careful with using anything like a neti pot or a saline nasal rinse because it could lead to some pretty heavy and chronic nosebleeds. My father found this out the hard way – after several emergency room visits where he lost about a pint of blood!
For now, I echo the sentiments of the nasal strip people. If you can’t go to the doctor at the moment, you don’t want to create another problem by opening yourself up to nosebleeds or the possibility of an infection.
Absent – similar to the silicone options, try an oil. If you want fancy salon stuff, Moroccan oil is great, just a little. Almond oil works wonders too, I mostly use it once I’m in for the night, I’ll coat the ends and then put it up in a clip. It really doesn’t make your hair feel greasy but it helps hold in the moisture. It’s my favorite hair stylist tip.