The Vine: April 27, 2005
Dear Sars,
I work in academic research, and recently, to my pleasure, my boss has started relying more heavily on me to edit her writing for journals, grant proposals, and reviews. I’ve used a couple of your columns for clarification on some points, because you explain grammar and punctuation so well, and I hoped you could help me tease out another one.
All of my department’s projects are focused on HIV-positive individuals, and thus our writing as well. I know (I think) that in some cases, hyphenation is appropriate when using a phrase such as “HIV positive,” and sometimes it isn’t. I think I did it correctly in the last two sentences, but (if I did) I’m not sure why. I’d be grateful if you could explain so that I have something to point to when I’m correcting others’ writing (in which it really seems to be arbitrary choice if anything). And of course, if I’m wrong, I’d like to know that as well, because I have to do this on a daily basis, and I can’t stand being wrong.
Thanks,
Hunched Over the Keyboard
Dear Hunch,
It’s my instinct to say that the term “HIV-positive” should always be hyphenated, because even if the noun it’s modifying isn’t present, it’s implied. With that said, neither the 11C nor the Garner has a usage note on it one way or the other.
Still, the object of the hyphen is to tie the two parts of the phrase clearly together (and to prevent either one from wandering off with another modifier), so I would use the hyphen at all times.
Dear Cat Slave,
Out of interest in providing a break from the typical boy-drama of The Vine,
I thought I would present my problem to challenge your skills.
I live in a very old house that seems to have a slight ghost problem. When
present, the ghost is always in the same spot in my living room. It returns
night after night, becoming increasingly agitated, until the atmosphere
becomes too oppressive to deal with and I tell it to go away. It will leave
for a week and the cycle repeats itself.
Yes, I’m serious — I wish I wasn’t. Guests see/feel the ghost as well.
The bigger problem is the ghost talks to the cat and teases him. It leaves
my normally lovable slug of a cat agitated and in a foul mood.
I’ve tried telling the cat that he doesn’t have to listen to the ghost’s
woes, but even though he is listening to the ghost, it’s not like he is going
to listen to me. He is a cat.
I suspect that the ghost gets mad when the cat doesn’t address his concerns,
and lashes out. This results in an upset kitty, which in turn results in an
upset owner.
Preferably, I’d like to chase the ghost from my house, but at a minimum,
stop the ghost and cat from interacting (keeping the cat out of that room is
not an option).
Short of enrolling my cat in a degree program for paranormal psychology, do
you have any ideas?
The ‘nip doesn’t work
Dear Nip,
Well, this is a new one.
I lived in a haunted apartment once, back in the day, and based on my admittedly limited experience, you can speak to ghosts and get results. “The girls” did not tend to manifest visually, but the cold patches and sensations of being stared at in the kitchen could get kind of annoying after a while, so finally I just sacked up and asked them please to stop hovering while I was doing the dishes…and it stopped.
Getting rid of the ghost is a whole other matter in which I have no experience, so I would advise you to get a medium in there to do some trance writing or something — once you figure out what the ghost wants, sometimes you can tell it that it’s looking in the wrong place and it’s okay to move on to the next phase. But I would just tell it in a firm tone to stop pestering the cat. Hobey and the girls didn’t have a problem, as far as I know, except that from time to time he’d run into the hall and “point” at them, and I can tell you that that whole thing where you look through an animal’s ears and you can see the ghost? Not true.
Anyway. You might consider befriending the spirit, or at least addressing it on the subject of the fact that, you know, you have to live together, so let’s all try to get along — cat included. You could try burning some sage, I guess, to get the ghost out, but on the other hand, a bored haint is a real help when you’re running late and you can’t find that other earring. Generally speaking, though, ghosts, like pets, tend to pick up on your stress, so just keep it calm and ask him nicely to leave the cat alone.
So, what do grownups call one another when they’re “going together” (shades of sixth grade)? He’s not really the “significant other” yet, “boyfriend” is ridiculous to apply to a 54-year-old man, “lover” is smarmy and suggests “fuck buddy,” which is really no better and I like him better than that, “friend” is just too coy. “Man friend” just doesn’t have that user-friendly sound. Please, I need something pithy by which to refer to — dare I call him? — Mike? I mean I could refer to him by his actual name, but then what would I have to write to you?
Grownup in the Dating World
Dear Grown,
I think grownups just accept that the language is imperfect in that regard, and default to “boyfriend,” although if you want to go a little retro with it, I’ve always liked “gentleman friend.” Your other choice is “the man I’m seeing,” although that’s a little long, and also a little…I don’t know. Arid, I guess.
But I think “boyfriend” is okay, because the thing is, everyone else knows there’s really no other word for it too. It’s not like anyone’s going to be all, “But he’s not a boy!” They know what you mean, basically.
Tags: boys (and girls) cats grammar rando
