While reading Alone and Misunderstood’s problem, I had a flash of compassion for her. I recently went through the same thing with my steady boy, and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I decided that I had spent enough time waitressing in bars, and that it was time for me to go back to school, so that I could follow my dream. Just because I haven’t figured out my dream yet has nothing to do with it, or at least not in this argument. I told him that I was going back to school, and that I was planning on studying the basics, and hoping to find inspiration once I had finished them. My boy disagreed, and we fought constantly.

I finally made an executive decision and told him that unless he supported me (emotionally) in my studies, that our relationship was toast. I moved out the next day, after a terrible fight. That night, I came over to the apartment to get a few more things, and we had the most wonderful conversation ever. He realized that he was trying to make me conform to his parents’ attitudes about school, and that he didn’t want to lose me. Our relationship has blossomed, and I just have one thing to say to Alone. If he really loves you, he will support your dreams, even if they are not his dreams. If he cannot support them, then he doesn’t love you. It’s that simple. Anyway, thanks for the great column, and I hope that this helps.

Happy Student in Texas

I’ve been kind of seeing this guy, “Mark,” for a while now. We aren’t officially together, because he lives four hours away, neither one of us drives, and there’s a pretty big age difference between the two of us. Anyways, a few months ago, when he first moved, we decided to leave our relationship up in the air. We agreed to wait and see until summer, when we’ll be living within a few blocks of one another, before we try anything. Anyways, we’ve been in that stage where we’re very much emotionally involved with each other, but nothing’s official for about two months. Yesterday he called me and told me that he slept with his ex-girlfriend, “Tina.” I know that we’re not really exclusive, but I was still really upset by this.

I guess my question is, should I accept that if I wasn’t ready to make any kind of commitment before he left, then this is what was coming to me, or do I have a right to be really hurt by this?

Upset