She’s gotta read Valley of the Dolls. It’s a classic of trashy mid-’60s literature. She’ll wanna run out and buy false eyelashes and a leopard-print jacket.

AG

Agreed. And then she should rent the movie, starring Patty Duke. “NEELEY O’HAAAAAARRRRAAAAAA!!”

Other reading suggestions appear below. Suggestions I got more than once are asterisked.

BOOKS
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman*
Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys
Cause Celeb, Helen Fielding
Trading Up, Candace Bushnell
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore*
The Secret History of the Pink Carnation, Lauren Willig
The Giver, Lois Lowry
Tokyo Suckerpunch, Isaac Adamson
Elements of Style, Wendy Wasserstein
This Must Be Love, Tui Sutherland
The Eyre Affair, Jasper Fforde*
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, Susanna Clarke*
Rebecca, Daphne DuMaurier*
I Capture the Castle, Dodie Smith
Dead Witch Walking, Kim Harrison
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
The Time Traveler’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger*
Time at the Top, Edward Ormondroyd
Salamander, Thomas Wharton
Cat’s Eye, Margaret Atwood
Innocence, Kathleen Tessaro
The Mangler of Malibu Canyon, Jennifer Colt
Alanna: The First Adventure, Tamora Pierce*
The Sparrow, Mary Doria Russell
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, Michael Chabon
Who Will Run The Frog Hospital?, Lorrie Moore
The Blue Castle, L.M. Montgomery
Like Water for Chocolate, Laura Esquivel
The Devil Wears Prada, Lauren Weisberger
The Crimson Petal and the White, Michel Faber
How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater, Marc Acito
Little Bitty Lies: A Novel, Mary Kay Andrews
The Brothers K, David James Duncan
Ralph’s Party, Lisa Jewell
The Red Tent, Anita Diamant
The Passion of Artemisia, Susan Vreeland
Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress, Susan Jane Gilman
The Stand, Stephen King*
The Fionavar Tapestry, Guy Gavriel Kay
Empire of Bones, Liz Williams
The Dirty Girls Social Club, Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez
To Say Nothing of the Dog, Connie Willis
Getting Over It, Anna Maxted
A Girl Named Zippy, Haven Kimmel
The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, Laurie King
God-Shaped Hole, Tiffanie DeBartolo
The Life of Pi, Yann Martel
Catch-22, Joseph Heller
Memoirs of a Geisha, Arthur Golden

SERIESES(ESESES)
Stephanie Plum/Janet Evanovich*
Outlander/Diana Gabaldon*
Kushiel trilogy/Jacqueline Carey
Dark Is Rising/Susan Cooper
Goldie Bear mysteries/Diane Mott Davidson*
Into the Wilderness/Sara Donati
Marcus Didius Falco/Lindsay Davis
Aunt Dimity/Nancy Atherton
Amelia Peabody/Elizabeth Peters*
Vlad Toltos/Steven Brust*
Shopaholic/Sophie Kinsella*
Undead and…/MaryJanice Davidson
Heaven/V.C. Andrews
Prey/John Sandford
Anita Blake/Laurell K. Hamilton*
Wheel of Time/Robert Jordan
Sabriel/Garth Nix*
Bernie the Burglar/Lawrence Block
Bailey Weggins/Kate White
Lens of the World/R.A. MacAvoy
No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency/Alexander McCall Smith*
Narnia/C.S. Lewis
Harry Potter/some lady*
Thomas and Charlotte Pitt/Anne Perry
Sookie Stackhouse/Charlaine Harris
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants/Ann Brashares*
Nero Wolfe/Rex Stout*
Miles Vorkosigan/Lois McMaster Bujold
Bridgerton/Julia Quinn
Cynster/Stephanie Laurens
Enchanted Forest Chronicles/Patricia C. Wrede
Keeper Chronicles/Tanya Huff
Lily Pascale/Scarlett Thomas
Monsieur Pamplemousse/Michael Bond
Tamir Trilogy/Lynn Flewelling
Discworld/Terry Pratchett*
Earthsea/Ursula K. LeGuin

AUTHORS
Jane Austen
Robin Hobb
William Gibson
Kate Atkinson
Ali Smith
Louise Rennison*
Christopher Brookmyre
Agatha Christie
Megan McCafferty*
Meg Cabot*
Robin McKinley
Jennifer Belle
Joanne Fluke
Adriana Trigiani
Mercedes Lackey
Carole Nelson Douglas
Alice Munro*
Jane Smiley
Susan Wittig Albert
Marian Keyes*
Jonathan Carroll*
Lani Diane Rich
Judith Krantz*
Arthur Ransome
P.G. Wodehouse*
Jonathan Kellerman
Augusten Burroughs*
Laurie Notaro
Charles deLint*
Maeve Binchy
Philippa Gregory*
Tony Hillerman
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Anne Tyler
Jilly Cooper
Donna Andrews
Sheila O’Flanagan
Cathy Kelly
Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus*
Jennifer Weiner
Lauren Henderson
Alisa Kwitney
David Sedaris
Kerry Greenwood
Nick Hornby*
Jennifer Crusie*
Libba Bray
Mary Roach
Jane Green
Angela Carter
Melissa Bank*
Curtis Sittenfeld
Fannie Flagg

OTHER
www.literature-map.com*
chicklit.com
allconsuming.net
bookobsessiongpl.blogspot.com
The Fiction Connection computer program

Hi Sars,

Here’s an etiquette question that Emily Post can’t help with. I’m expecting my first baby in a few months, and am preparing my invite list for the baby shower next month. My office is small and mostly male. There are some other women, and I get along with most of them reasonably well, with varying degrees of closeness. There is one exception, and she and I pretty much hate each other. We handle it like big girls and it’s not a problem for work, but it’s also pretty deep-seated and not likely to go away.

The question is this: Who should I invite to the shower? Do I include only the people I’m closer to, and risk hurting feelings, or do I include pretty much everyone that I’m friendly with, and risk imposing on people/looking like a gift hog? There are people there that I’m not close to, but they’ve been super-supportive of the pregnancy, and I don’t want to seem rude. Also, if I do go with a larger circle, I end up inviting pretty much everyone except the girl I hate? I doubt she’d care, but my mom taught me in the third grade or so that that sort of thing was just unspeakably rude. Several people have already said they want invitations, so just not inviting work people is not an option. And the hostess is cool with any size guest list, so I can’t blame it on her.

Thanks for your help!

Signed,
We’re Naming the Baby Sarah

---

Dear Good Choice,

You have to decide which perception of your behavior is preferable to you, I guess — that you’re not a gift hog (don’t invite everyone) or that you’re eager to include as many people as possible so that feelings don’t get hurt (invite everyone).

But you also have to realize that, when it comes to baby showers (and weddings, and just about any other invitation event), someone will find a reason to be unhappy or offended, no matter what you do, so you need to just go ahead with the event you want in spite of that.

If the event you want, then, is one where you don’t have to deal with the hassle of office politics, and if your host is cool with that, just invite everyone. The woman you don’t like probably won’t come, and you can certainly ask the host to phrase the invitations so that it’s more like a lunch celebrating the baby’s impending arrival and less of a “sit around and open compulsory gifts” kind of thing — that’s more fun anyway, and you’ll feel less gift-grabby.

But if there are people you don’t want there, don’t invite them. Yes, they make take offense. That’s baseball. You can throw parties you want, or you can throw parties other people want; they aren’t always mutually inclusive.

---

Dear Sarah,

I have a problem that I don’t think you’ve addressed in The Vine yet. It may be more of an “Ethicist” question, but…you’re so much more approachable than Randy Cohen.

The only negative thing about my otherwise great job is managing my first real direct report, “Claire.” Claire and I are the same age and, when I was hired, she was initially bitter that she was never a candidate for promotion to my job. I soon found out why. Claire is hard worker, but I find her unprofessional, immature and disrespectful to my boss and other coworkers. Recently, my boss and I made the decision to begin the process for termination. I can’t wait to be rid of her, but of course, I have to give appropriate documented disciplinary warnings and generally wade through red tape.

This week, a friend who works at a peer organization discovered that Claire had been interviewed for a job at her organization. I’m delighted that Claire is looking for a new job (she must know things aren’t working in her current job). However, my friend has heard many, many happy hour diatribes about how difficult Claire is to work with, and she mentioned this to the hiring manager at her organization (who I am also acquainted with through social gatherings involving our mutual friend/coworker). The hiring manager had otherwised liked Claire and considered her a good candidate, but contacted me and asked my opinion.

I’m not quite sure what to do. On one hand, I have a very strong opinion about Claire, and she is definitely not someone I want to work for me. On the other, I feel guilty about giving an opinion about her without her knowledge or consent. After all, Claire provided the manager with references who, I imagine, will highlight her more positive skills. And I am a social acquaintance of the hiring manager; she doesn’t know me in a professional context. How much (and what) information should I disclose in this situation?

Thanks!
Boss Lady

---

Dear Boss,

Tell the hiring manager what you just told me — that you’d prefer it if she contact the references Claire listed, because she has this negative information as a result of a social relationship, and therefore you don’t feel entirely comfortable with her basing her decision on that information. Then just decline to comment further.

Your friend wasn’t entirely wrong to pass along the dirt on Claire; she’s looking out for her organization. And the hiring manager isn’t wrong to follow up on it, either; you don’t have to ask them to disregard anything they’ve heard. But it sounds to me like your workplace has fairly official procedures that have to be followed in the case of a prospective termination — and if this could cause you to fall afoul of them (i.e. Claire gets wind of the fact that your poor reference, which was not solicited formally), you’re better off just explaining to the hiring manager that you really aren’t in a position to say anything else.

Claire didn’t list you as a reference. Unless she’s done something unethical, which in turn would be unethical for you to keep silent about, she’s someone else’s problem soon enough. Keep it that way.

[8/1/06]

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Tags:   Ask The Readers   etiquette   popcult   workplace