The Vine: August 22, 2008
Dear Sars,
You’ve helped me with some Procrastination Issues that I wrote about, about two years ago — thank you very much. I have another issue that I hope you can deal with better than I…
‘Cause it’s a biggie. Just like me. Yes, I really want to lose a decent amount of weight (that’s been creeping up on me since I was 16 years old), but I can’t seem to get off my ass and do it. It’s the most horrid thing, to feel mired in my own sullen indifference. I know it’s my health at stake, I know that I want to do this to feel better about myself, I know that a nice side benefit might be that guys would look twice at me and that my mom and brothers would stop ragging on me behind my back, but I just don’t. know. where. to start.
I was reflecting rather depressedly on this block for a while, recently. Some responses to myself included:
1) You’re lazy. (To which I replied: I might be anemic! and I’m really busy…)
2) You’re greedy. (To which I responded: emotional eating and learned habits going way back to high school cannot be overcome in a week, or even a month…)
3) Exercise is boring. (Which is true. Treadmills are dull, and I get seasick when I try to read, and then I think of all the time just circling the drain while I’m running like a hamster on a wheel, and I could be getting some work done.)
4) Could this be a form of twisted empowerment? (i.e.: guess what, Mom, this is my body, just like it’s my life, and I can do whatever I want with it, and if that includes running it into the ground, then you can suck it.)
5) I am a bit paranoid. (I don’t know whether or not this is normal, but I feel horribly self-conscious about going to the gym, eating in front of people, et cetera. And now that I know what my brothers have been saying, I feel even worse — and self-consciously furious, at that. I mean, what the hell? Brothers aren’t supposed to really look at your body, are they? The thought of them evaluating me like a slab of meat makes my skin crawl.)
Hmm. In sum, I guess I’m asking whether 1) you can administer a benignly phrased kick in the pants, and/or 2) whether your readers have had any experience on this short-of-breath-on-the-stairs section of Life’s Journey.
Sincerely,
Get your eyes off me
(PS Ix-nay on the eight-Watchers-way. I tried them twice, and I couldn’t get past the whole weigh-in thing; it made me feel like a steer in a high-density feed lot. Next stop, Bovine University!)
Dear Get,
You could probably benefit from some counseling, long-term, to deal with the situation with your brothers, which is sort of beyond the scope of the main question, so you might consider that.
But honestly, the laziness, greediness, and aversion to conventional exercise you describe are not unique to you.I would rather lie around watching baseball than cue up a Firm DVD; I would rather eat cheese than salad; I would rather do almost anything than go to a gym.I think you have to accept that these things are your nature, that you like to lounge and you like to eat, and while there is nothing at all wrong with that per se, it may be at odds with a weight-loss goal.
So, you make some changes — little ones that you can actually keep doing, so that they stick.It’s the principle as not procrastinating: break a big job down into lots of little jobs, and start crossing shit off the list, because “clean the house” is too large to manage; “dust bookshelves / clean stovetop / take out recycling” is probably the same end result, but in a more manageable form.
I lost fifteen pounds in the spring to get into a bridesmaid’s dress.I eat like a farmhand; I also drink beer.It is doable.My recommendations are these:
1. Reconsider Weight Watchers.I don’t go to the meetings either; some people are more motivated by that, but I am not.You can join online.The real use in WW, for me, is realizing just how much I eat at one sitting, and trying to control my portions; the points system helped me a lot with that.Another positive is that, for a lot of people, you see results in one week.You drink all the water, you go for a few walks, you rein in your salad-dressing consumption, and when it’s time for you to check in, you’ve often lost at least two pounds.
And the best part of the program is that it builds in some fuck-up points, so if you drink a couple of glasses of wine and it impairs your choices at dinnertime, you don’t go over your weekly budget.
It’s not for everyone, Weight Watchers, but even if you don’t stick to the plan forever (I went off the rez the instant Bean was safely married), it can give you useful tools for eating more healthily and recognizing certain negative eating tendencies you might have.
2. Do not weigh yourself more than once a week.This is why so many of my health regimes in the past failed; I am suuuuuper-impatient and want results yesterday or I’ll just give up and eat a sleeve of Chips Ahoy.You gotta think long-term.
Whatever your reasons for not wanting to stick with it — and “but I want to eat two bagels!” is perfectly valid, in my view — give it enough time to work.Two weeks, a month, whatever.Get a friend, make a plan, and cross off the days; if you’re miserable at the end of the month, quit, or try something else, but I am telling you, even if all you do is cut out eating after dinnertime and add two aerobic sessions a week for a month, you will see a difference.
3. The gym is not the be-all.Here’s why a gym membership doesn’t work for me: it’s a whole thing, with the going to the gym, the changing, the scheduling of the classes, the waiting for the machines…it’s an ass-tear, to me.I have a range of different DVDs at home, or I use Time Warner Cable’s Exercise On Demand to switch it up (the Biggest Loser workouts are killer).Or I ride my bike, or I walk to the park and back.
Find some way to get into working out.Yoga counts.Running stairs counts.Again, give it a week or two to get past the muscle pains and the “I wish I were dead” feeling; you have to get used to doing it, and then your body starts feeling more attracted to water and fruits and veggies.It helps your energy, you sleep better, you’re more regular…I still don’t like exercising for its own sake, but I like the results.
Privation and punishment don’t work.Don’t eat nothing but sunflower seeds and force yourself to run five miles the first day; that will doom you. Go on the Weight Watchers site, see what you think.Look at your daily routine; write down everything you eat and everything you do, and see if you can’t fine-tune it — cut a couple of regular Cokes and swap in a brisk 15-minute walk or something.
But make little changes, slowly, that you can keep doing without praying for the day when you can stop doing them, and set the system up so that the mistakes you make, which will be many and which do not mean you’re a piece of shit but a human being who likes sticky buns (I may be projecting here), let you continue instead of giving up.And after you’ve given it a few weeks or a month, and you see some results, let that inspire you to keep going.
Don’t think it’s only hard for you, though, is a key thing.Not only can I eat a whole pizza, I would rather.But I like sprinting for a bus without a ten-minute recovery time more, so: there it is.
(On a side note: it’s time to use the famous “…Why would you say something like that to me?” response on your family. They’re out of line.)
Readers: any tips?Favored workouts, eating tips, motivational tools?Try not to ramble on as long as I did, please (not much of a challenge, I realize).
Tags: Ask The Readers health and beauty the fam
Exercising can be boring, God knows, and a treadmill is possibly the worst. I bought a bike, not a stationary bike, mind you, but the kind that you actually have to take outside. It changed everything. Being outdoors reminds me of when I was a kid and I rode my bike everywhere, and the freedom of gliding along like the wind is awesome. Yes, it can be rough going uphill, but it’s soooo much better than exercising indoors. I ride almost every day now, and I lost 24 pounds in 3 1/2 months.
I can’t agree more with the daily tracking suggestion. I think awareness is the most important thing. You have no idea how many overweight people I have heard say: “I don’t even eat that much!” They just have no idea what “that much” means. My biggest advices is that for one week you should write down every single thing you put in your mouth (including portion size, even stuff like a handful of chips or a couple of crackers) and add up how many calories you eat each day (calorieking.com is a great site for finding that info). The shock of that alone will be a great motivator to make changes. I have lost about 90 pounds over the last 2.5 years, and I am probably the laziest, greediest, porkiest, weak-williest, procrastenatiest mofo you will ever meet. I love eating only slightly more than I love napping. However, once you open the awareness door it’s so hard to close. It helps you make better choices without thinking about it too much. It’s the best place to start. Good luck. I will not lie and say it will be easy, but I promise you that once you start it will get easier every day.
Sounds drastic at first, but what I did was I halved my portions. When I was teaching abroad, I’d cook a pot of rice, then have only one bowl with dinner, and save the rest for lunch the next day. Before, I was eating two bowls of rice (if you want a size reference, maybe about 8 ounces or so) at dinner. I still do every now and then, though. Cooking for yourself is good too: saves money and you’re more conscientious about what you’re eating.
I also had to bike to work every day, and even though it was only 10-15 minutes, that went quite a ways too. Granted, I was doing kendo, so that may have been the real reason, but when I got back to the U.S. I tried to find ways to keep moving around (really hard in law school!).
Recruiting a friend to exercise with you is huge. Set a doable schedule (my BF and I make sure we get a jog in Mon./Wed./Fri. evenings. It takes about 20-30 minutes and we feel great afterwards).
Exercising in bits and pieces within the day is helpful. I get impatient with a single workout, which leads to frustration. I don’t have that aversion to the gym, and I’ve got a free membership through work, so I go over my lunch break. With changing and showering, I only have half an hour, so I ride the bike or climb the stairs or do whatever, and it’s 30 minutes of exercise right there (my gym lets you plug in and watch tv, too, which I imagine is available at other places). Plus, with the lunch break already occupied with exercise, it makes me pack something healthy for lunch instead of caving in to a Checkers burger at 11:30. If not the gym, then try to keep in mind that a 30 minute stroll counts, too.
Then when I get home at night, any other exercise I do–playing catch or mowing the lawn or riding my bike–is a bonus.
I actually just got to interview Martina Navratilova, AARP’s fitness ambassador (or some such), for an article on, conveniently, her fitness recommendations. In addition to getting a buddy, she talked about finding active things from your childhood that you still enjoy. You don’t have to have an exercise “regime,” so long as you’re moving around and having fun, the exercise part just…happens.
I hate gyms too – I’ve joined a few times and usually give up after a few months. I hate the whole scene. I found a fitness studio that works better for me. There’s a small staff of trainers – maybe five in all – and the studio is really a gym: no treadmills, no machines at all. They do offer some classes but mostly it’s personal training. Yes it’s expensive, but because the workouts I’m learning are so bare bones, I can do them at home or at the park with a friend. I find the personal relationship with s trainer I trust and the small number of members (strangers tostare while I work out) makes it the best option for me. Maybe Get can find a more personal fitness studio nearby – a good trainer will be able to help with nutrition stuff too. Good luck!
I’m on a “look cute in bridesmaid’s dress” slim-down at the moment and I’ve been doing the Self Challenge. It’s all about balance, which is key – I’m not going to do anything that involves me cutting out entire food groups. (The bride is on a no-carb diet and I was like, “Pfft, fuck that mess.”) And it has treats built in, which is also key for me because I likes my sweets and my booze. I don’t own a scale so I only weigh myself at the gym weekly, or less, because it’s really easy to give the number too much power if you weigh yourself daily.
I really like to exercise (the Self Challenge exercises are actually less than I do in a given week so I’ve just kept my regular exercise schedule); I’m going through a tough time right now and exercise has helped me tremendously. Gets the endorphins going, helps clear my head, all that. I went to a high school where we were required to play at least two seasons of sports until junior year, and I wasn’t that good at field hockey because I just didn’t care and didn’t like it that much. But I AM good at spinning and yoga and swimming and walking 40 blocks to the movie theater because I do care and like those things a whole lot, so the key is to find something you like. Doesn’t have to be at a gym, doesn’t have to be doing crunches – there are a million ways to exercise.
Two get-started workouts I’d recommend: Pilates and taking walks. Both are low-impact, and with walking, it’s easy not to think of that as exercise (the weather has been nice in NYC lately, so it makes you WANT to walk the 40 blocks to the movie theater), but it totally is. Good luck!
You don’t give any indication of what you generally eat, but I find that cooking at home helps me a lot. The visual of putting the full stick of butter into the recipe keeps me from loading my home-cooked food up with as much oil, butter and salt as the restaurants do. You can also start slowly working in more veggies and whole grains, which are filling but have more fiber and protein than a lot of restaurant stuff. Setting a goal of eating a reasonably healthy home-cooked meal x times per week (or taking a lunch to work) might be another way to track progress without a weekly weigh-in.
Also, check out the book Mindless Eating by Brian Wansink. He’s a psychologist with a lot of great tips on portion control.
Totally with Sars on WW online. Best thing I ever did — after nearly a year I’m down 36 pounds, and have about 8 pounds left to goal. (And I don’t exercise much…) I’ve never gone to a meeting.
I recently took a week and a half off from counting points (it’s tough to do that when you’re travelling internationally, and visiting family), and I was happy to see when I came back I’d lost another pound. The lessons in making healthy choices can stick!
When I gained some weight my first year of graduate school (curse you, dining hall dessert buffet!), the calorie diary at Fitday.com really helped me figure out how to eat things I liked while sticking to a reasonable number of calories per day. I lost the weight, but I still return to Fitday occasionally when I know I haven’t been eating well. Weirdly, the prospect of having to record what I eat — even if no one sees it but me — helps me decide if I *really* want this stale chocolate-chip cookie or if I’m just eating it ’cause it’s there.
Also: if you hate the gym, an exercise class might be for you. I avoid the ones where ultra-perky women yell things at me, but I love my yoga and pilates classes, and I took a great class called “Women and Weights” that involved a personal trainer taking us around the gym and showing us how to build an effective workout using the equipment there. (That may sound elementary to some of you, but I’d never set foot in a gym before in my life, and it helped a lot.)
For me, the trick with exercise is “find things you don’t hate.” Running? Hate it. 30 minutes on the elliptical machine while reading People magazine? I can do that. Jumping up and down on a step to the beat of really loud techno? Hate it. Pilates? Works for me. Don’t force yourself to do something that you dread — if you’re like me you’ll just come up with excuses not to do it. Look for things that you don’t loathe doing. Exercise still isn’t the most fun I have all week, but I don’t hate it anymore and I can motivate myself to do it.
I second the pedometer suggestion. I’ve managed to stick with it for more than 2 years, which is a world record for me. I did also find a class I van live with twice a week, though I’m up to TWO buddies for that one, because two people can still convince each other to flake.
What helps me is to try to make incremental changes that I can live with for the rest of my life. That way, I don’t feel as much like I’m depriving or punishing myself. Good luck! You can do it. Just get out today for a walk or a class or put in a DVD.
I, too, would rather lounge and eat. In fact, I LOVE lounging and eating and I hate working out. The key for me was to change habits. I tracked my eating habits for 2 weeks and realized that every day, I came home from work tired, irritable, and starving, and devoured a thousand calories. A bag of chips, two pieces of cake, sandwiches…whatever was in the house, I ate. So, I keep a bag of healthy snacks at work in the fridge, I eat right before I leave so I’m not ravenous, and I don’t go straight home. I run an errand, I pick my husband up at work, I go for a walk. Anything to break the habit of come home, take shoes off, stand in front of fridge, and stuff face. The best thing I can suggest is to keep track of everything for a week or two and then figure out where you can cut out a little food or sneak in a walk.
I second the finding of an activity that helps you exercise. Cycling, skating, hiking, all burn calories and get you out of the gym. And if it’s a club, they’ll be on regular nights so you will feel obligated to go.
If you do want to continue with the gym, I recommend classes, since it again makes it an obligation to go. I personally love spin classes, and with a little trial and error you can find instructors that jibe with your view of the world. (It is not yoga on a bike. If I wanted to take yoga, I would have taken a yoga class.) You can also dial classes up or down depending on how you feel, can sit in the back where no one bothers you, and usually they turn the lights off/low so you won’t feel self conscious.
I would also recommend doing some sort of strength training; you’ll usually see visible results faster, it helps with bone density issues in the future, there is more thought involved and you’ll burn more calories just sitting there during the day. I have a desk job, and it is comforting to know that! A good personal trainer rocks in this department – although I would ask for recommendations from others as there can be some crappy ones out there.
Exercise is the key to jump start your confidence, but if your confidence is low the gym could make you feel worse. If you start small, at home, you will begin to feel a sense of accomplishment when you stick to your “routine” and then up the ante with more exercise or a gym membership once your confidence level is up. Buy some of those exercise videos that are 10 minutes long and use light weights (usually focused on one body part) and rotate them. You might think that ten minutes isn’t going to do anything for you, but it will if you commit to the 10 minutes every day (mixing up the parts of the body you work) as many days of the week as you can stand, but not less than three. For me, it took about three weeks and I started seeing muscle (albeit flab covered) where before there was only flab, and that motivated me to keep going. I put my exercise shorts and shoes right next to the TV so whenever the ten minutes frees up I can drop trou and get going. You might be surprised (I know I was) when the day comes that your ten minutes is over and you decide to pop in another DVD to get another ten minutes in.
Once I got my muscles going, the rest (cardio and diet) was easier, because I could *see* good things happening to my body and I wanted those things to continue.
Psst…start wth your arms and shoulders. They’re the quickest to show results, and strong shoulders and arms (strong, not bulky) balance out any “problem” areas down below. And be kind to yourself.
Book recommendation for Get: The Four Day Win, by Martha Beck. (This is NOT a “four day” diet, despite what the title implies.) I recommend it because it’s starts from your head, not from your mouth so to speak. Also, it’s kind.
Also, can’t say enough about Losing the Cow. Start here:
http://www.frolicanddetour.com/losingthecow/archives/2004/06/moooooooo_not.html
Just know yourself. You’re already being honest with yourself, but of course there’s a fine line between honest and defeatist. If you’re creative, you can come up with a plan that will work for your strengths.
The pedometer is a great example. I am a big nerd, and when my old job gave us all pedometers left over from some promotional whatever, we joked that they wanted us geeks to battle for the high score. Funny, right? But we sort of got into it, and as it happens, it really is fun to try to beat your high score.
The On-Demand workouts Sars mentioned are great too. So is the Nike+iPod Sport Kit, if you already own an iPod nano. Take the stairs. (I hate elevators anyway; perfect!) Try some push-ups, it’s fun to try to beat your high score there too. Obviously, I am a giant dork for the data tracking. Hmmm, maybe I should be graphing this stuff…
Since I don’t like gyms either, the only thing — swear to God, the only thing — that has worked for me has been dancing. I used to take Scottish dancing classes (and I need to get back to them), but in recent years it’s been all Dance Dance Revolution, all the time. Granted, I have a higher-than-average tolerance for Japanese pop, but there’s a calorie tracker, a “Workout Mode” that can be customized, and new goals to meet — this is especially true for the later games, which were designed to accommodate a wider range of skill levels. Running is awful and makes me cramp; dancing is fun. So, endorsing MCB on the “find things you don’t hate” point.
Walking kept me in shape all through college – it is great exercise that doesn’t FEEL like exercise – trust me I HATE the gym. I just strap on my iPod and go. I eventually got myself up to a 30 – 45 minute walk a day, and man, did it work! I can’t go as often now, but I still try to walk to the grocery store and back rather than driving (a little over a mile). Plus, carrying the stuff back is a workout for your arms – bonus!
I agree with Sars: there is literally almost anything I would rather do than workout. I will never be one of those sickos that spends 4 hours a day, 6 days week at the gym and complains about how disgusting they feel if they miss a session. I’ve lost about 100 lbs since 2004 so I know what you’re going through and here are my tips:
1) find something you like. If you hate the gym, forget the freaking thing. For me, personally, I’ve really enjoyed yoga and cardio kickboxing. In kickboxing I get to beat the crap out of a bag and in yoga I get to slow down and diffuse.
2) try all kinds of diets to find the one that fits. I’ve done no carb, Slimfast, and calorie counting (limiting myself to 1500 calories a day during the week). I’ve lost weight on all of them but I think for me, the 1500 calorie diet is the easiest to stick with. I’ve never tried WW but I know people that have been successful and I like the idea of the cushion of points the program provides. But, like you, going to a meeting would never be something I would want to do. So don’t. Do it online.
3) don’t beat yourself up. Just don’t. Be kind to yourself. If you fuck up, you fuck up. The great thing about today is there’s always tomorrow.
4) Like Sars said, start small. Leave the cheese off your burger. Put mustard on bread instead of mayo. Try to limit sugar to the weekends (so, so hard). Another thing that helps me control myself is reading labels. There is just some stuff I never eat anymore because it’s so ridiculously bad for me (see: Krispy Kremes). Knowing what you’re eating can be a wake up call.
Anyway, there’s my 4 cents. Good luck to you.
“I love Sars’ advice columns, but I have to disagree about weighing every day.”
As you get more attuned to whatever system you pick and how your body reacts to salt, your period, blah dee blah, I don’t think it’s *evil* to weigh every day. But in the beginning, I think it’s a bad idea; you can pop up two pounds on a given day and get discouraged/derailed right when you’re just starting out, and people often forget that muscle weighs more than fat — when my body was in the middle of really converting that the last time, I plateaued for two weeks, but I just had to keep reminding myself that that was a lat muscle I hadn’t had before.
The actual weight is kind of an arbitrary measure anyway. I weigh 155 or thereabouts right now; that’s not an ideal weight for 5’2″, or for everyone my height. How your pants are fitting (or not) is a better gauge.
Over 20 years ago (yes, I’m old) I lost 20 pounds using the Firm videos, and I still recommend them. Now I like running, cycling, etc., but back then I hated exercise. Using the videos helped me get fit enough (in the privacy of my living room) and confident enough to start trying and enjoying other activities.
I also wonder if part of your resistance is because you don’t want to feel like you’re doing it to meet your neanderthal brothers’ standards. Focus on what you want for yourself, and try to forget about them.
A couple things:
To echo some other commenters, if there’s a type of exercise you actually enjoy, try to make it work as a regular thing. I do water aerobics, as I love the water but hate the monotony of laps. There’s also the benefit of not feeling all sweaty and gross despite working hard. I pay for classes that are held at specific times, so my cheap self feels required to show up.
Secondly, a general thought on weigh-ins. When I’m trying to lose a bit of weight, I do weigh myself every day or so. It functions as a reminder in the morning to eat well for that day. This started a few years back, when a friend of mine told me she did it this way and I thought she was insane, but I gave it a go and it really does work better than weekly weigh-ins for me. YMMV.
I have just started weight loss program… I am rediculously out of shape and overweight. I dont want to go to the gym because to be honest its embarrassing, so this is what Im doing.
1. I dont weigh myself AT ALL. I go based solely on how far I can pull my skinny jeans up my thighs. I can almost get them over my butt Whoohoo!
2. I use dailyplate.com and write down EVERYTHING i eat. Its making me realize that snaking out of boredum or lonleyness is what was killing me. So instead of getting rid of that behavior I eat cucuber sticks with that spray dressing instead. I also got rid of all cookies and assorted bad things out of my house. Now thats not to say I dont eat them, OH I do… but I dont eat them when Im alone. And If I freak out and HAVE TO HAVE my choclate covered oreos RIGHT NOW… I make myself walk the mile to teh grocery store to get them. (I live in Boston not the burbs)
3. Working out, I take the stairs instead of the escalator in the subway station. (with the excption of one station taht is 7 stories down but I will take the stairs down at that station). I also take a walk at work with one of my coworkers who also HATES working out. I signed up for tango class. Hey I know its not rockclimbing or boot camp but ti still burns more calories than sitting on my ass at home watching tv. I also 2 times a week use the excersise tv On Demand feature with my cable. I cant finish some of the work outs, but you know what? thats ok, I have a 4 inch rebok step there just in case so if I Just cant do the balance on one foot bouncing on a trampoline abs of steel move I just walk up and down that little step until they do something I can do.
4. Its hard. I like being sloth like. I like deep friend cheesecake. But its helping just doing little things and hopefully I wont be so embarraced to join a gym soon. I really want to swim. My doctor recomends it since its so easy on my joints.
5. remeber the first month is SO HARD. You are out of breath and sweaty and feel like dying. its ok though cuz your not dying. And Just remember a bigger girl running up stairs is way harder than a thin little thing running up stairs, just immagine that thin little thing that makes you feel bad for being all sweaty carrying a 70 lbs back pack. yeah! she’d be all sweaty too!
6. basically small changes. And now I have to do my sort of pushups off my desk now… hope that helps!
I hate gyms, but I also live in Texas, which means the entire summer is not conducive to outdoor exercise. I also live in a tiny 2nd floor apt with floors made of ?tissue paper, so any kind of exercise machine or good bouncy aerobics workout at home is impossible.
Its not cheap, but I joined Curves. Everyone there is a woman, half the people are huge, and its much more of a workout than it looks like it would be. Its like going to a sewing circle more than a gym…there is a small group, you just walk in whenever and jump in the circuit, there is no pressure. They do weigh and measure you once a month, but they don’t tell you the numbers unless you ask. Its very gentle and very supportive and warm… Curves also has a website you can join, like weight watchers, that will help with portion control and food balancing…for a fee of course. I haven’t tried it but some of the FIT women at Curves swear by it.
Another idea – volunteer to do something exercisey. I first got involved with a small Habitat for Humanity affiliate in 2003 – in addition to all its other awesomeness, with all the bending and lifting and schlepping and climbing and tool-wielding, it was the best damn workout I have ever found. I spent a month working with them two days per week and lost a visible amount of weight.
With Habitat, of course, it depends very much on the affiliate – some of the larger ones have more help than they can really use – but there are other venues that will get you moving. Dog-walking…foot patrol of local park…I know these are options available in my area. I’m sure if you look into it you could find something.
I will add: if you can’t find a buddy, don’t despair. Some of us don’t have one to work out with, and that’s OK.
I found it oddly liberating the day I realized that I don’t have to feel like doing something in order to do it. Yup, I could drag off to the gym, even not feeling like it. If you go to the gym, if you work out at home, try to do it in the morning, even if you’re not a morning person. It gets harder through the day to get to the gym – you find yourself working through lunch, then late at work, and who wants to go to the gym late at night? And if you work out early, it wakes you up and burns calories faster all day long. If you build muscle, your clothes may loosen before your weight goes down, so don’t panic if the scale doesn’t show anything right away; OTO, it usually takes 6 weeks to build visible muscle. Write down what you eat, and I suggest that you don’t give up anything “forever;” it cuts down on the panicky, resentful need to cheat. If you have to, start with eating half a sub on Fridays, instead of a whole one every day; a couple of cookies at a meal, not a bag. You’re not giving up anything, you’re doing this foryourself.
Try to start small with little steps on both the food and exercise fronts. I’m not a calorie or points counter (though it works for a lot of people). For food, I started writing down everything I put in my mouth, then I met with a nutritionist who reviewed it and gave me very practical suggestions like, when you have a snack, combine a starch (fruit/veg) with protein (almonds/string cheese), so you stay fuller longer. Eat more fiber (veg/beans/whole grains), more protein, less processed crapola, drink more water, plan your meals so you don’t have a chance to go off the rails. Trying to get in fruits/veg at every meal and filling in the rest from there made for much healthier eating generally.
For exercise, maybe skip the gym and find an activity you look forward to that meets on a schedule so you’ll be less inclined to fink out. Martial arts classes, yoga, step aerobics, kickboxing, group cycling, line dancing, roller derby, tai chi, hiking, swimming, soccer league, whatever is more appealing than the gym. While it’s expensive, an awesome personal trainer is worth her weight in gold. I was meeting with one twice a week and saw real results in strength (muscle burns calories while you’re sitting there lounging) and basically remade my body so that I’m way fitter at 34 than I was at 24. Took a while. I have felt what you’re feeling and being at the other end, the improvement in how I feel now versus a year and a half ago is indescribable — I feel comfortable in my own skin and way more confident. (P.S. to the brothers: f-ck straight off, seriously). This is something you can do, just start right away (like, tomorrow, go for a walk and eat two more servings of fruit/veggies than you normally would).
I just started with one thing and once that felt do-able, I added another. Making it about health and feeling better, rather than weight loss, may take you out of the I-suck cycle. It also takes the pressure off because you’re making a lifestyle change rather than going on a diet. I wouldn’t focus overly on pounds, because if you’re really building muscle and reshaping your body, it may not appear on the scale as quickly as you would like. Good luck. It’s going to be awesome.
uh, what was that about not rambling?
I, too, love the lounge and eat routine, the more the better. But alas, with age comes wisdom.
My suggestions:
1) Cut your sodium. I went to the doctor for my swollen ankles and legs (think Auntie Faye at Coney Island with her stockings rolled down) and was told to go low sodium immediately. That eliminated most processed foods and all soda. You would not believe how much sodium is in the average diet. You will eat a lot better, learn to cook more recipes, and cutting the soda takes pounds off like nobody’s business. I never bought the “they’re like liquid candy bars” until I went to one Coke a week. You;ll probably drop a good ten pounds of water weight. Added benefit–after only a week or so, most snacks you’re used to will be unbearably salty tasting, thus paving the way for fruit and veggies.
2) No matter what activity you choose, get the right shoes. I have terrible foot problems and exercise is torture unless I wear my inserts or Fitflops (those really do work on eliminating foot, knee and back pain.) Don’t be afraid to spend some money–your entire skeletal system will thank you.
3) If you have a significant other, do NOT, repeat, NOT try to turn him or her into your food policeperson. Support is fine, but projecting your food/control issues onto a loved one will only make you a) resent that person and b) sneak food. So many candy bars and secret lunches have I devoured in “defiance” of someone who was not aware that they were supposed to be running my self-imposed prison cafeteria in the first place.
4) Tell your family to get bent. Okay, you can’t really do that–or can you? It’s kinda what you’re doing right now, right? With the food and the revenge snacking when you come home from Sunday dinner and all those little jabs from Mom, or tearing into those Mint Milanos after hearing your brothers evaluate your ass. Just say it out loud already and enjoy your life.
Well, so much for the not rambling rule–rambling burns calories, right?
Just wanted to leap in to say that I bought myself the 10-minute Trainer dvd set in June and have lost 15 pounds. And this without even doing the routines everyday. I injured my knee in early June, and so was unable to work out every day. But I have to say this about the dvd: I am a HUUUUGE procrastinator, but the 10 minute sessions go by in a flash. I’ve made a routine that as soon as I get home from work, I put on shorts and a tshirt, put in the dvd, do the workout and then I’m done. And trust me, these are a workout. And having the dvd means you can pause it if you need extra time to get into position, as I do. And now that my knee is finally almost healed. I’ll be able to start working out every day, if I want to. I’ve seen enough results that I’m excited to see what else will happen. So, Eyes, whatever way you decide to go, you’ll feel better immediately in ways that you don’t even realize now.
use a dressmaker’s cloth tape measure instead of or in addition to a scale.
measure and record your upper thighs, the widest part of your hips, your waist, your upper arms.
remeasure every couple of weeks.
if you still have any jeans from your thinner days, start to try them on once in a while as you lose a fraction of an inch/a pound or two.
I absolutely second Isabel’s “Health at Every Size” recommendation.
I know the writer is specifically looking for weight-loss advice, but I’d actually advise forgetting about the weight loss altogether. Instead, work on feeling good and feeling good about yourself. Find some form of exercise you enjoy (biking, yoga, weekend softball, whatever), take the stairs at work, try to swap out Cheetos for spinach a few times a week if applicable, and definitely, definitely get counseling to help with the emotional eating and low self-esteem. You may find, in six months or a year, that you’ve dropped a lot of weight, or you may find that you look exactly the same but you can suddenly lift your couch to vacuum without a problem or climb that big hill in your neighborhood without getting winded. You’ll be healthier, is my point, even if you don’t look different, and if you’re also happier and more confident, that’ll bring all the boys to the yard way better than drinking fewer milkshakes.
Also, keep in mind two things: First, that if you make any changes that lead to weight loss, you’re going to have to keep doing them for the rest of your life if you want to keep the weight off (90% of dieters regain the weight within 5 years), so only make sustainable changes. Second, people’s bodies are different. I drink and eat junk food and occasionally take a cab to save myself a ten-minute walk, while a friend of mine eats a lot of well-balanced, fresh-cooked meals and goes to the gym a few times a week. I’m a size 8, she’s a size 18. She’ll never be a size 8, I’ll never be a size 18. It’s the way we’re built. So stop beating yourself up over your size — it just leads to depression, anyway, which keeps you on the couch, which leads to more beating yourself up.
I’m back on the WW Online plan again – lost 20 lbs about 6 years ago, but 2 babies later it’s back. I know exactly how it got there…the plan really teaches you how to eat correctly (or recognize when you’re NOT.) It was a huge revelation to me the first go-round…I had no idea what to eat before.
I’m with you on the weigh-in and boo-hoo-fest that is a WW Meeting…I’m not going to feel motivated by hearing people whine about the donut they ate, etc. Not to mention it’s just one more thing to do, which I don’t need. And this is between me, my scale, and my pants…nobody else needs to be involved, thankyouverymuch. But the online tools are excellent and the points system is incredibly practical…
Good luck. Losing weight is hard, but so’s being overweight. It’s as mental as physical…
As Susie said: Know yourself. Do what works for you. For instance: Sars and others have said not to weigh more than once a week. Weighing once a week is a guaranteed way for me to lose control instead of lose weight. If I weigh every day, sometimes more than once or twice a day, I can keep an eye on things. I have a digital scale: If I see that I’ve “gained” 0.2 lbs since breakfast – even though I know it’s likely just a fluid fluctuation, it still makes me more aware and less likely to put that piece of cake in my mouth. If I see that I’ve “lost” 0.2 pounds, it psyches me up and makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something – even though I still know that it’s still just a fluid fluctuation.
When I diet and try to weigh myself only once a week, what USUALLY happens is that I find, at the end of the week, “Huh. I *gained* four pounds? How the…” (I have practically zero willpower and as soon as the thought enters my head, “Okay, no more cake or pie for me until I lose 20 pounds,” my brain goes, “Oooooh, cake! PIE!” and nothing will suffice until I’ve had some. So my diets usually end up with me gaining weight.)
At the same time, do not put too much stock in the numbers. At nearly 6′ tall, the weight where I look best is a number that would make most “average sized” women shudder in horror; when I weighed 15 pounds more than what the doctors’ charts say is my ideal, I looked frightening and skeletal. Whether you weigh 105 or 305, keep it about how you feel instead of a number. Let the numbers be a way to track your progress (up or down) instead of the be-all and end-all themselves.
Listen to all the suggestions but do not feel that you are required to follow this one or that one. There is nothing that works for EVERYONE, so you have to know yourself and what is likely to work – or not work – for you.
Krista: Thanks for your comment. I’ve been thinking about martial arts for a while now; your comment is very inspiring.
Here are some super-easy little eating tips that help me keep weight off with absolutely no effort from me. Some of them are very brief and simple, while others are more like attitudinal shifts:
1) Drink nothing but water or skim milk. Drink as much of those as you like, but don’t drink other beverages, especially not sodas, which are just empty calories with no nutritional value. Diet soda is apparently just as bad (or possibly worse) than regular soda when it comes to helping you gain weight, according to the most recent studies
(http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/Story?id=4271246&page=1) (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/05/health/nutrition/05symp.html).
2) Don’t go to fast food restaurants. If you live in an area with enough local restaurant selection or variety to make it possible, don’t go to any national chain restaurants at all. Recently revealed calorie counts for many of the national “casual dining” restaurants like T.G.I. Friday’s or Outback prove that they are just as bad as or worse than many fast food places (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25464987/)–even their salads.
3) Never eat at buffet restaurants.
4) Portion control at meals: if it is not easy for you just to stop eating once you get full, learn to control your meal portions before meals start instead. The easiest way to do this is at a restaurant: when you order your food, ask for a takeout container at the same time, and before you start to eat, put half of the meal into the takeout container. Eat the leftovers for lunch the next day.
5) Enjoy what you eat, but don’t think of any single meal as supremely important. Most of the many people I know with chronic weight problems have a great deal of anxiety about where their next meal will be coming from (even though none of them have ever been in actual poverty or homelessness situations). They tend to overeat because of their fears that they might not know when and where they will be eating again.
6) On a related note, don’t think of being a little hungry from time to time as scary or dangerous–it’s not. In fact, it is important to learn to recognize when you are actually hungry as opposed to when you just feel like eating or you think something might taste good. If you are always hungry again an hour after a meal, that probably means that you are not eating enough healthy food to begin with. Of course, carrying hunger to the extreme is just as dangerous as overeating (if not more so).
7) Don’t eat any white or pink salad dressings.
8) Try to avoid buying all products that list “corn syrup” or “high fructose corn syrup” as an ingredient.
9) If you must drink beverages other than water or skim milk, instead of buying “light” juices (which are just watered-down and then sweetened with Splenda or Nutrasweet), buy regular, unsweetened juice and cut it yourself with seltzer water.
10) In fact, avoid altogether most packaged “diet” foods, which tend to be packed with sodium and artificial sweeteners and preservatives.
12) Instead, cook at home more, and eat low on the food chain (more vegetables, fruits, and whole grains; fewer dairy products, and even fewer meats). Avoid unnecessary processing–the closer what you eat is to what it started out as, the better for you it probably is.
Can’t agree more with finding something that works for you — that’s the way to stick with it. I will not got to a gym, but I have a library of exercise tapes and DVDs, to which I add every couple of months, whenever I need a boost or have a couple extra splurge bucks. I have easy, short workouts and amazingly tough long workouts and everything in between, so I always have an option to try, on days when I’m feeling great and on days when I can barely pry myself off the couch. If videos might work for you, even a day or two a week, a good place to start is http://www.collagevideo.com. They have beginner through advanced videos, preview clips of everything, a very flexible return policy, and excellent customer service. (You can also get REALLY cheap used exercise videos through amazon — some of my favorites are 50-cent bargains I found there.)
I love to eat. I love to eat rich food in large quantities. Almost all of my hated foods are vegetables. Right now I’m working on losing the 70 lbs. I gained, cumulatively, over two pregnancies. I hate most exercise, but for whatever reason, I like dancing and swimming, not that I’ve ever had training in either.
For the past two months, I’ve watched “Shimmy” (beginner-level belly dance) on FitTV whenever it’s on, and have ordered the DVDs and a hip scarf. I have always been very shy and inhibited (physically) and this is the first time ever, in my entire life, that I have ever felt graceful or physically competent. My posture and muscle tone have already improved noticeably, I’ve lost 3 lbs. in the first six weeks, and I ENJOY the exercise, all of which make it more likely that I’ll keep going. Belly dance was originally for and by rather Zaftig types, so doing this doesn’t necessarily involve shifting a paradigm without the clutch.
I’ve also sort of half-assedly and unofficially gone back to WW (on my own, not in a group), so with luck and persistence, I may reach some sort of sustainable goal within the next year.
I didn’t put on this weight within a two- or three-month period, and neither did you, Get. Like Sars said, we do have to think long-term. The more slowly it comes off, the more likely it is to stay off longer. As for your family…they sound like mine, sort of. And I’m sorry; I know how it feels when one of your own parents cuts the legs out from under you that way.
Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to let Get know that yet another TN reader sympathizes. Kudoes to everybody who’s doing something about their weight misery, and I hope you meet with trim, toned and HAPPY success.
I am the laziest, justifying-no-exercise poutine lover you’ll ever hope to meet. And I hate the gym. But guess what I apparently don’t hate?
Trapeze. Yep, like, the flying trapeze in the circus.
Here’s why it’s awesome. Like, 16 people in the world already know how to do this – the rest of us are total beginners, so you’re on an even playing field.
It’s easier for women, because there’s no upper-body strength involved – despite what it might look like. It’s all momentum and that’s easier for women than men.
It is a huge, giant, amazing adrenaline rush without sweating for the 45 minutes it takes when you’re running or whatever, BUT – the next day your entire body is like “Sweet JESUS, what did you DO?”
I realize there still should be cardio for our hearts but trapeze was a wackily unexpected step to realizing not all moving sucks.
Hi there.
I lost a fair amount of weight and you know how I did it? Yes, I got more active and went outside to hang out with friends, but I also started a daily journal where I forced myself to write every day. Sometimes about the good and the bad of what was going on. Somehow knowing I could dump what I was feeling, the anger, the frustration, the abject laziness as well as the trimph of climbing that first mountain or fitting into those pair of jeans that haven’t seen the ligth of day in three years helped.
I alsok found when I started reading into losing weight, I had a place to go back and really delve into an idea I had without the voices of judgement (all those people including myself) telling me I was just being silly.
I’ve lost and kept off a moderate amount of weight in the last two years, and I did it mostly by gradually introducing changes one at a time. I did it by attacking my bad habits one at a time, bit by bit. It’s not fast, but it really has worked for me.
One thing that has worked really well is attacking bad habits not just from the “don’t” point of view, but from the “do” point of view – “eat more fruit” rather than “don’t eat all those chips.” Working in four-five servings of fresh fruits and veggies a day has actually been one of the best changes I’ve made; it helps control the other snacking impulses quite a bit, because if you’re really trying to get as many nutrients as you can from food, you end up eating a lot of stuff that’s good for you, which in turn, makes you feel like you’re eating a lot.
The key to making the fruit and veggies thing work for me has been focusing on seasonal produce – in the summer, I gorge myself on berries, in the fall, I enjoy all the crazy kinds of squash you only see September-December, in the winter, I go for citrus and roasted root veggies. That way you minimize the amount of bland or overpriced produce you’re eating.
My other approach more recently has been what I call “The Sephora Diet.” When I’m tempted to grab a bottle of wine or bag of chips from Trader Joe’s, I remind myself that I’d really like to get some of that fancy philosophy bath soap. I also use the same thinking to trade tri-tip roast for veggie burgers or tofu.
And finally, I’ve been scaling back on animal flesh because of the whole overheating planet thing, and it really is true that if you shift your diet toward plant-based foods, it’s easier to maintain a healthy weight. Can I talk myself out of breakfast sausage on the grounds that it’s not good for me? No. On the grounds that it’s bad for the planet? Apparently, yes.
The bottom line is that you need to find your own motivators, and if self-denial doesn’t work for me, thinking in terms of tradeoffs might help.
Finally, as the great and wise Sars notes, portion control is key. I usually have two or three kinds of exotic chocolate bars in the house, but I eat 1-3 squares a day. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.
Running did it for me. Or, rather, walking/running that evolved into running. I started out at the run a block/walk a block/run a block stage for a just a mile or two three times a week. The running part wasn’t all that much fun but I enjoyed being outside and it provided a short break from work (I’m a grad student). After a few months I could run much of the way and slowly started increasing my distance. Getting to the point of being able to run the first three to five miles (the first year) were the hardest but once I could accomplish that base distance it was no longer difficult to increase distance and I found that I liked it. Five years later I’ve lost 30lbs, kept it off, and run three marathons. My advice would be to start slowly by alternating running and walking and to slowly increase your distance rather than worrying about how you look, whether you move slowly, etc. I still turn bright red and sweat like a pig, I run slowly, and all sorts of people pass me, but I find it clears my mind and relaxes me, which I never would have expected.
On the weighing yourself thing – I read a study recently that one thing people who have kept weight off for years and years consistently do is weigh themselves once a week at least. I lost 20lbs 7 years ago, and have kept it off (I started exercising! I still exercise! I drink water instead of soda all day! I eat less than I did and more of things like fruit and veggies and less of chips and ice cream – it’s really that exciting, heh) and yeah, I do weigh myself twice a week. I do it at the same time each day – in the morning after working out before breakfast so it’s a guide for me. Just you know – “maybe not so much having two slices of going away party cake next week. One will do.”
But I think the best advice is finding what works for you. I will say, getting in shape has all sorts of rewards you will totally come to appreciate. For me – I get sick less than anyone I work with. A tiny cold every year, max, and sometimes not even that. It was not like that in my 20s when I didn’t work out and ate more. Everyone’s mileage varies, of course.
GOOD LUCK!!!
I think everyone’s had great suggestions. I was in your position 6 months ago and one morning. I thought, Oh, I am not one of those people who goes to the gym every day and eats well and stuff. When I was a kid, my brother was the athletic one and I was the bookish one, and that’s how it was. Like, I tried running once when I was 10 and my dad and brother made fun of how I held my arms. Thanks a lot. I dated a guy who would make these subtle crappy comments about my weight, such as “You know, if you worked hard, you could probably be a size 8.” The smallest I’ve ever been was ten years ago, when I was in college and so stressed out I was anemic from not eating — and back then, I was a 10! I always thought of myself as just being big, not athletic, not active…that was just not how it was. Then one day in March, I woke up and thought, Hey, maybe I am. And now I am.
The thing that made the most difference is the people I know. 99% of the people in my life have been totally supportive about my new goals — lots of them are running races with me now, coming to my races, asking about my workouts, and just generally being awesome. The people who are not awesome? Get the boot. Surround yourself with people who believe you can win, and you can’t lose. I am planning to do a half marathon next year, and I have no doubt that it will happen.
Another thing that helped me was signing up for a race — in my case, it was a little bitty triathlon (don’t be impressed — we are talking tiny). So I knew that I had to be in shape for that by the day of the race. I started working out this past March. I lost 20 pounds before I even noticed, because I was thinking so much about getting ready for the triathlon that I didn’t notice I was getting smaller. I know this sounds unbelievable, but it is true. I completed the triathlon in the time I was aiming for, and I am hooked. The key is to find something you love doing; set a goal that’s attainable; and only associate with people who believe in you.
End of sunshine and rainbows for today…I know it sounds hokey, but it really did work for me. I wish you all the best in your quest.
I also hate the gym. I feel like I’m being judged. I don’t have a workout buddy, but one of my big things is sparkpeople.com. Great community, lots of resources. Join some of their message boards or don’t join and just use the food/exercise resources (great for learning calories in vs. calories out).
I also have a lot of dvds, taught myself to run (look for the Couch to 5K program – great for lazy folks), and bought a heart rate monitor to sort of encourage myself to keep going even for just a few more minutes.
(Apologies for the rambling, but there’s just so much stuff that’s so interconnected in issues like weight loss).
I screwed up my foot a couple years ago, and I was still having a lot of trouble with it after lots of Physical Therapy. My orthopedist sat me down and put it to me as, “Your f’d up tendon is designed to hold this much weight. You weigh (100 lbs more). Subtract, or it’s going to hurt like hell for the rest of your life.”
Now, having this kind of motivation has definitely been helpful, but having tried many diets, I was a little skeptical. Atkins had garnered the best results, but as soon as I went back to a normal diet, the pounds always came back (with a serious vengeance after Atkins). This was the key, I realized: Changes that were permanent, and ones I could actually maintain.
You don’t have to start out with anything totally drastic. I started by cutting my portions 25%. Ate the same crap, just ate physically less of it. Once I saw how full I was eating 3/4 of what I’d been eating before, I was slightly aghast. Being really broke has also helped, since I have seriously restricted how much I eat out and for me, eating out is a black hole of calories. I’ve also mostly cut out appetizers and desserts when I do eat out, and focus on the entree. This brings me to the next bit…
This may seem really obvious advice, but it sure as hell wasn’t for me: When you’re full, STOP EATING. I was a charter member of the clean plate club, and it still pains me to leave food on my plate. It still requires every ounce of willpower I have to skip a really, really delicious-looking dessert. But I’ve slooooowly learned to listen to my stomach instead of my taste buds, and while I’ve also switched to some healthier foods, the simple volume of what I consume has decreased significantly.
The other key is exercise: I have tried exercising without adjusting my diet, and I have tried dieting without doing much exercise. Neither is really that effective, and certainly not on a permanent basis. As much as the gym sucks, it is a necessary evil. The hardest part of the gym is always the first month or two, because it’s boring and hard and you sometimes feel like you’re not getting any results. However, if you keep going for a couple months and actually keep an eye on your diet, you not only lose weight, but you improve your cardiovascular health and feel WAY better. Feeling better is a remarkable motivator to keep you going back.
As for self-esteem issues about going to the gym: Remember that all the hardbodies there did not necessarily start out as hardbodies. Most of them started out mild to moderately overweight, and some even grossly overweight. Most of them will have quite a bit of respect for you for actually making an effort, and the others are too busy worrying about their own bodies to have any kind of concern about yours.
Although you say you get a bit nauseous if you read at the gym, does the same thing happen if you watch TV? I rip TV DVDs to my iPod to watch while I’m ellipticalling in place (still no treadmill for Mr. Cranky Ankle). Find yourself some kind of really addictive series and say “I will only watch this while exercising,” in order to give yourself motivation to exercise. I recall reading of a guy who did this with the first couple of seasons of 24 on his portable DVD player and had great results.
If you can’t watch anything without getting seasick, consider downloading some podcasts or audiobooks. Something interesting to listen to so you can focus on anything other than the fact that you’re just running in place. You will notice that very, very few gym rats don’t have some sort of secondary thing they’re doing while on a treadmill/bike/elliptical/other repetitive cardio machine, because you’re dead right: it’s boring as hell.
One thing I would recommend reading if you have some time is the Hacker’s Diet. It’s available free here. Basically, it boils weight loss down to a math problem: You need to burn 3500 more calories a week than you consume in order to lose one pound. You also need to realize how much comes in and out of you every day, and that your weight will fluctuate on a daily basis, and you simply need to make sure that the overall trend is downward. I found reading this incredibly helpful in understanding some of the weird fluctuations I was having.
And since I’ve rambled on this long, I’m guessing you’re probably wondering exactly how well this has all worked for me: 67 pounds gone in the last 16 months. Obviously, I’m very happy with where I am vs. where I was. I’m not where the doctor told me I needed to be quite yet, but weight loss is a slooooow process if you want it to be sustainable. Good luck, and remember that while getting healthy is not easy, it is definitely worth it.
The only time I’ve been able to lose any significant amount of weight, and keep it off for more than a few days, was to eat more often, and just take the stairs at work instead of the elevator (only 3 stories, so it’s doable for me.)
So, when I am on track with this, I buy a lot of string cheese, a lot of apples, a lot of pears, and a lot of carrott sticks. I eat a small “meal” at 8am, 11am, 1:30pm, 4pm, 6pm, and 9pm. And I try to do some -at-least-half-assed calorie counting and keep it below 2000 a day.
Oh, and I also give myself one cheat meal per week and one cheat day per month.
P.S. That sounded wrong… I do not ONLY eat string cheese, apples, pears, and carrott sticks. LOL I just add those as snack-meals throughout the day.
I love how the comments here reflect that different things have worked for different people, but everyone is supportive. Part of the trick is to keep an open mind and be patient. The whole “Rome wasn’t built in a day” attitude. :)
Now, I’m wondering if there shouldn’t be a Tomato Nation SparkPeople team!
The best thing is to stop talking to yourself like a drill sergeant, and start talking to yourself as if you were your own friend, or kid or something. Like if your daughter was crying that she was so horrible and lazy and hated the way she looked, you wouldn’t be like, “THAT’S RIGHT, YOU COW!” You’d tell her all the ways in which she’s already beautiful, and gently point out that she’s being counterproductive.
When you can change how you view food, not just how you eat it, that makes all the difference. Stop looking at it as something that makes you “bad,” and try not to use that language (“Oh, I’m so bad; I had cake.”). Try and understand why you crave things, what it is that your body and/or psyche need. Sometimes my body really needs chocolate, and once I get it, voila! Instant happy. It’s learning that you can get those positive emotional responses without binging.
Practically speaking, if you can cut out soda, that is HUGE. And reducing your intake of packaged foods also yields really quick result.
Fat in every meal is good, and drastically reduces cravings for sweets, because it helps keep your blood sugar level stable.
Water, water, water. Don’t worry if you don’t like it. Part of successfully changing your relationship with food is learning to intake things that are good for you. Then your body gets better about what kind of signals it sends, and you will crave less junk.
The Carmen Electra Striptease DVDs are absolutely phenomenal — super-fast results, and you really can just start with like 10 minutes a day and it doesn’t feel that hard to do, but the results are really very impressive, and the workout is fun.
No matter what, just know you can do it! And be prepared for some obstacles, because it’s amazing how few people are really happy for you when you lose weight. Be prepared to feel vulnerable in your increasingly smaller body. But know that you will get past that, and come out of this much stronger, if you just work hard, but be gentle with yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Good luck!!!
Thirding (I think) fitday.com
I lost 50 pounds in 51 weeks by using a combination of fitday.com, Curves, and common sense. I did NOT give up dessert; I just factored it into my calorie count for the day. I never felt deprived. I started eating less more often–so I was eating five times a day, not two or three, but eating portioned amounts. Curves was great because of the age range (youngest member was ten, the oldest was in her 70s) and the lack of pressure. Also, who doesn’t have a half-hour a day? It was hard to make an argument against finding the time. I loved the mid-day energy boost, the people–30 minutes can feel like 10 when you’re having a great conversation with the people around you.
If you DO have a treadmill at home, put on your favorite DVD. My one friend suggested fifteen years ago doing situps during the commercials when you’re watching TV and I think that’s still think that’s a pretty good idea.
I did weigh every day but it’s not a great idea because the number goes up and down depending on when you’ve eaten last, the time of day, muscle vs. fat, etc. Now I’m just happy to be down from a size 20 to a size 12.
Before you decide you need to try to lose weight, please:
Head on over to Shapely Prose, kateharding.net
http://kateharding.net/2007/11/27/the-fantasy-of-being-thin/
http://kateharding.net/but-dont-you-realize-fat-is-unhealthy/
Try to practice “demand feeding” — for more info see http://ccafeteria.blogspot.com/2007/08/demand-feeding.html
http://ccafeteria.blogspot.com/2007/07/panic.html
Read When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies.
90-95 percent of people who lose weight (through dieting, through “lifestyle changes,” on Weight Watchers, whatever — and despite WW’s new adds, it IS a diet) will gain it all back and then some within 5 years. Your body wants to be a certain weight, give or take a few pounds, regardless of how much you do or do not eat or exercise. Whatever you try to convince yourself, you are problably not the exception in that 5-10 percent.
It sounds like you have body issues and also food issues. I think you need to work on separating those two things. Work on accepting your body the way it is and treating yourself well (and exercise you enjoy can be a part of this — it will probably make you feel better, and make you healthier, even if you don’t lose any weight). Work on getting rid of your food issues. Fight the belief that if you can rid yourself of your food issues you will then eat “the right way” and lose weight. You probably won’t, at least not permanently. But you will be a lot, lot happier, I can promise you that.
Wow, been there and am working my way out of it. It’s a long journey but an important one. I wish you success! So much to say, I’ll try to condense.
Reject “ALL or NOTHING” thinking. The advice about courage being the ability to forgive yourself and try again is golden.
Counseling. Group or individual, when you can stop using food as self-medication for the emotions, you can keep the weight off.
Start a food journal to figure out where the “hidden/empty” calories are and how to remove them. Keeping a journal of feelings (especially binge triggers and non-hunger eating) is very effective, if you can do it.
NO DEPRIVATION! Ask how you can ADD healthy food & drink (and fiber) to your daily intake: e.g., you can have whatever you want, PROVIDED you eat a piece of fruit/salad first or alongside. Or that you have to drink 4 ounces of water and wait 10 minutes first. Eat more PROTEIN, especially when you crave sugar. Want cake? Fine, just eat the 3 oz. of steak and small side salad first. (Protein sticks with you longer, and frequently removes sugar cravings.) DO NOT IGNORE HUNGER. Know you won’t eat carrot sticks but will eat peanut butter crackers? Then carry the PBCs for emergency snacks!
Try to eat ONLY when hungry. If you fear that the birthday cake at work will be gone before you actually want some, set a slice aside for when you are actually hungry. Or better yet, tell yourself that if it is gone by the time you want some, you will stop at the store on the way home and buy some cake (if you still want it). Having “permission” often removes binge urges.
Apply the same attitude towards more exercise in your life: no deprivation and not All or Nothing. It doesn’t HAVE to be cardio. First figure out what you currently enjoy (or might enjoy) then try it out. Take baby steps — set low goals so you enjoy success without muscle pain and are eager to do more. Try to do a little more each time. The pedometer and 10,000 steps a day goal is a really good plan to “sneak” in exercise. Hate outdoors? Go to the mall and windowshop. Love animals? Offer yourself to the neighbors as a dogwalker or dog frisbee player. Like water but hate laps? Go to the pool with the intention of simply playing around.