I greatly admire your writing, and since you attended Princeton, I believe, perhaps you could quell my fears.

I am having a pre-college crisis. Moreover, I’m having a pre-application crisis. I’m a senior in high school, getting ready to send out applications this fall. I’m fucking terrified. I have been waiting for college practically since I started kindergarten. I’m pretty sure that I can handle the work at the Ivy League level; I did very well on my AP exams, I have an excellent work ethic, and a high tolerance for stress. But I’m worried I can’t even get past the admission offices.

I have worked my ass off in high school, to put it rather bluntly. The homework alone takes up almost all of my time. But, because of some physical limitations that were rather bothersome during my freshman and sophomore years (namely, struggling with depression which I’ve dealt with since I was thirteen, and the early stages of what was last year diagnosed as fibromyalgia, which is sort of akin to chronic fatigue syndrome), I concentrated solely on school and had to work really hard to keep my A’s. I can’t participate in any sports, and I never did anything but excel in school until last year. I was involved with several terrific activities last year, though, and I’m increasing both my academic load and extracurricular involvement in my senior year.

Unfortunately, only the prestigious colleges have the resources, quality education, and additional factors that I want. It appears that at these schools, I would be among an intellectual peer group, and wouldn’t have to worry about holding back or getting teased for not being satisfied with a certain quality of work. I intend to apply to a college on every tier, to ensure that I get in somewhere, but if I am only accepted into the dilapidated state schools, or even those ranked slightly above, I sure it’s going to be just like high school again. Even worse, I’d feel like I’m missing out on vital opportunities that will help me in my vocational life, and I’d be kicking myself for not having done enough to get in where I wanted to go.

But I just don’t know what I am up against. My school is less than encouraging to college-bound students, especially those with high aspirations. They’re more concerned with keeping the drop-out rate as low as possible. I talked to my counselor, who was not exactly supportive. Nobody around here gets into colleges of a quality within punting distance of the top tier.

I just have no idea what my chances are, especially when I hear all the time about how three-sport captains/valedictorians get rejected from lesser colleges all the time. I know that it shouldn’t feel like the end of the world if I don’t get into the better colleges…but it does. I certainly wouldn’t have worked so hard if I knew I was going to end up in the state system, especially when many times it was a struggle just to get through the school day.

I’ve researched quite a bit about the colleges I’m interested in, but the statistics only tell me what the average test scores or class ranks of the enrolled are. Are there any resources that either you are your readers are aware of that might help me to determine the probabilities involved? Am I freaking out for nothing? What can I do so that I don’t have to spend my entire senior year in a relentlessly panicked state? If I could determine that it’s pointless to apply to the Ivies or certain other institutions, I can grieve and then set my sights on more practical universities, thus saving myself a lot of time, money, and worrying.

Thanks!
Hopefully Not Doomed To Attend A Community College

I don’t know how much I can help you here; they don’t even use the same SAT now that they did when I went through this. I’ve never worked in admissions, and I only applied to the one school. But I do have a few pieces of advice.

First of all, panic is normal. The process is scary, and the results are important to you. Don’t feel bad about freaking. Everyone freaks with this stuff.

Second of all, there’s really no telling what the admissions office is going to look for in a given year, from whom, or why. I’ve seen my admissions file, and from what I can gather, my essays put me over the top. Would I have gotten into Princeton anyway? Couldn’t tell. How much weight did they give my SATs, which didn’t exactly cover me with glory? Don’t know. How about my APs, which did cover me with glory? Can’t say. All you can do is turn in your strongest application and hope it works.

And last, but certainly not least, repeat to yourself until it sinks in that an Ivy League acceptance is not the be-all end-all of the application process, and that an Ivy League degree and a buck fifty will get you a cup of coffee. Yeah, that’s easy for me to say; I’ve got the Ivy League degree. But I work on the internet, so…so much for the buck fifty, if you see what I mean. Sure, it’s a great ego boost to get into an Ivy, but you get out of a college education what you put into it. Stanford, Williams, Amherst, McGill, Oberlin, Bowdoin, NYU, Lafayette, Carleton — I could go on and on, but I can think of dozens of schools that don’t belong to the Ivy League, but will still give you a top-flight education you can take pride in.

The Ivy League is, in the end, just a football association. Remember that, and try to broaden your thinking to include other schools that suit you as a person, because four years is a long time to spend in a place on the strength of its name.

[8/27/02]

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