I love, love, love George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series.
It’s very addictive and I think he is the best author I have ever read.

AR

Dear AR,

Thanks — I got lots and lots of recs for Martin, plus the ones that appear below.If I received a suggestion more than once, as always, it’s asterisked.

Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker’s Guide
Lloyd Alexander, The Prydain Chronicles *
Mark Anthony, The Last Rune
Piers Anthony, Incarnations of Immortality or Apprentice Adept *
Kelley Armstrong, Women of the Otherworld
Robert Asprin, Myth
Jean Auel, Earth’s Children *
Kage Baker, the Company series
M.G. Belanger, Drayenmark Saga
Anne Bishop *
Marion Zimmer Bradley (ed.), Sword and Sorcoress
Terry Brooks, Magic Kingdom of Landover *
Steven Brust *
Lois McMaster Bujold, Miles Vorkosigan Adventures *
Jim Butcher, The Dresden Files *
Orson Scott Card, Ender’s Game et al. *
Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel’s Legacy *
C.J. Cherryh, Faded Sun
Glen Cook, Black Company
Susan Cooper, Dark Is Rising *
Peter David, Sir Apropos of Nothing
MaryJanice Davidson, The Undead
Charles DeLint
Stephen R. Donaldson, Mordant’s Need and/or Chronicles of Thomas Covenant *
Sara Douglass, The Troy Game
Dragonlance *
Diane Duane, Young Wizards
Dave Duncan, A Man of His Word and/or A Handful of Men
Dorothy Dunnett, Lymond Chronicles
David Eddings *
Kate Elliot, A Crown of Stars
Steven Erikson, The Malazan Book of the Fallen
Raymond E. Feist, Magician: Apprentice et al. *
Jasper Fforde, Thursday Next
Jack Finney, Time and Again et al.
Lynn Flewelling, Tamir Trilogy *
Alan Dean Foster, Flinx *
C.S. Friedman, Cold Fire *
Cornelia Funke, Inkheart *
Neil Gaiman, Sandman *
Terry Goodkind, Sword of Truth *
Simon Green, Deathstalker
Barbara Hambly *
Kim Harrison
Elizabeth Haydon, The Symphony of Ages
Robert Heinlein, the Lazarus Long books
Mark Helprin
Frank Herbert, Dune
Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis, The Death Gate Cycle *
Robin Hobb *
Tanya Huff, Blood Trail et al.
Diana Wynne Jones, Dalemark Quartet
Robert Jordan, The Wheel of Time *
Daniel Heath Justice, The Way of Thorn & Thunder
Guy Gavriel Kay, Fionavar Tapestry *
Katharine Kerr, Deverry
Greg Keyes, Kingdoms of Thorn and Bone
Katherine Kurtz, Deryni
Mercedes Lackey, Valdemar *
Stephen Lawhead, The Song of Albion
Ursula K. LeGuin, Earthsea *
Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle in Time
C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia or the Space Trilogy *
Juliet Marillier, The Sevenwaters Trilogy
Julian May, Saga of the Pliocene Exiles
Anne McCaffrey, Dragonflight et al. *
Dennis L. McKiernan, Mithgar
Patricia McKillip, Riddle-Master *
China Mieville, New Crobuzon *
L.E. Modesitt Jr. *
Elizabeth Moon, The Deed of Paksennarion *
Christine Morgan
Garth Nix, Abhorsen Trilogy *
Naomi Novik, Temeraire *
Christopher Paolini, Inheritance *
Mervyn Peake, Gormenghast
Tamora Pierce *
Terry Pratchett, Discworld *
Philip Pullman, His Dark Materials *
Melanie Rawn *
Mickey Zucker Reichert, Renshai Chronicles
Mary Doria Russell
R.A. Salvatore, Forgotten Realm
Sharon Shinn, Samaria
Robert Silverberg (ed.), Legends
S.M. Stirling, Dies the Fire
Judith Tarr, The Hound and the Falcon
Sheri Tepper
Martha Wells, Ile-Rien *
Michelle Sagara West, Sun Sword
Tad Williams, The Dragonbone Chair et al. *
Gene Wolfe, Book of the New Sun
Patricia C. Wrede, Enchanted Forest
Janny Wurts, The Wars of Light and Shadow
Roger Zelazny, Amber *

www.sfsite.com
www.literature-map.com
www.librarything.com/users.php *
www.paperbackswap.com
The fantasy thread on the Chicklit.com forums

Dear Sars:

I’ve got a particularly tricky issue and I’m hoping
you and your readers can help.Recently, my brother’s
best friend and wife gave birth to premature twins.
Really premature — 22 weeks to be precise.While both
of them were past the critical two-pound stage, it was
just barely.

I’ve sent a gift to the new mom that was intended to
be a pick-me-up (she’s having a hard time dealing with
all this).But I want to send a gift to acknowledge
the birth of the new additions.But there’s this big
“what if” when you’re dealing with preemies that
small.

What do you think?Is it appropriate to send a gift?
Is it better form to wait until they are in the clear?
Any thoughts would be most appreciated.

Many thanks!

The preemies’ godfather’s sister

Dear Godauntie,

Ooh, tough one.I’m a superstitious person, so in your situation, I’d be afraid to jinx things, but on the other hand, the new parents are probably not super-concerned with protocol at this point given everything else that’s going on.

I would send a gift — not clothes, but maybe a monogrammed picture frame or rattles or something, something to save versus something “practical” — but I don’t know if that’s the “right” thing to do.It’s the thought that counts, of course, but with that said, you could always wait a little longer before you decide.

The readership is welcome to weigh in on this.

Hi Sars,

One of my truest, bestest BFFs got married approximately a year ago.At her wedding I spoke/made out with her oldest brother.Not a big deal in the slightest (I had a crush on him but I’m also in my late 20s and am over the obsessive hair-doll voodoo love chanting of my youth).Cut to one year one month later and we’re all at BFF’s sister’s wedding.The brother and I talk/make out again and this time he wants to stay in touch and talk or whatever. We live 2000 miles away but what the hell, sounds good.

Well, things have been going well, I like him, he’s coming to visit, I call BFF to talk to her about it and ask her how she feels (weird). I tell her that we’ll always be friends and this doesn’t change anything, worst case scenario and we break up –- I’d never blame HER or make her uncomfortable talking about her evvvvil brother ya know (see older/wiser from paragraph 1).While I always had a secret wish one of my friends would marry my younger bro so we could all live happily ever after in one giant Frarority House, I do get that it’s weird and it may take time for her to come around. I’m also careful about making sure to call/email/see ALL my friends and not fall off the face of the planet just because of a booooy. But THAT’S a topic you’ve covered many a time.

When we first had our “talk” her reaction was less than ecstatic and her words were something to the effect of “I guess this is something I’ll have to accept. You’re both adults.” –- said in the tone of voice you might use if you stepped in dog poo.In bare feet.I let that one slide because that was early on.She hasn’t addressed the topic at all…well, not to me, she and her mom/other sister apparently are on the phone about it all the time. It bothers me, but I’m patient.Then her brother called her a few days ago to talk to her and see how she’s feeling and she told him she doesn’t see our relationship going anywhere and she still doesn’t like it.

At this point I’ve scheduled a call with he to discuss her attitude (I feel like my dad…”You need an attitude adjustment!”).Essentially I see three courses of action:

1. She gets over it and is genuinely happy for me.

2. She is still weirded out but fakes enthusiasm and asks about it on occasion.

3. We don’t discuss it all, with the stated understanding she is choosing to exclude herself from a big part of my life –- this also means no snarky comments or doomsday predictions.

Now I will attempt to put these options more delicately, but those are my bullet points.Is that at all appropriate? Is her reaction that weird?Would you have been so negative if your brother dated a friend of yours? Am I taking crazy pills?

Signed,
Too early in the relationship for this kind of family drama

Dear Then Don’t Perpetuate It With Bullet Points,

In order: not really; not really; not really; not really.

I don’t know how much insight I can provide into the sisterly perspective, given that my brother is younger by a good chunk; that relationship tends to be different than the one between an older brother and younger sister.But regardless, I think there’s an I Don’t Want To Know Line that you have to observe no matter what your prior relationship with your honey’s sibling.I mean, if Mr. S started going out with Bean, it’s…like crossing the streams.Not that they can’t know each other, obviously; they do know each other, but it’s like that line from My So-Called Life, where Angela says that when two people from different parts of your life come together, you have to “make up this combination ‘you,’ like, on the spot.”It’s doable, but for awhile, it’s awkward, because BFF is at the center of a Venn diagram that she didn’t have a say in drawing, and there are things she doesn’t want to know about her brother’s sex life, and there are different parts of her emotional life that each of you sees and now you’ll both see both…you know what I’m saying?She feels a little exposed, I imagine.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to confront her, not yet.It’s not Not Done or anything, but I think you’re better off leaving it lie; in her position, I’d have been more tactful in my remarks, and in the brother’s position, I’d have not repeated those remarks to you, and you can’t unknow that she said those things, but I really don’t see the up side of putting her on the spot about them at this point.Like you said yourself, it’s too early in the relationship for this kind of family drama — and that includes becoming a bone of contention between the siblings when 1) you don’t know what the future holds for the relationship, if anything, and 2) if it does hold long-term prospects, she’ll probably come to terms with it in her own time anyway.Give her a bit more time to get used to the idea before you call a come-to-Jesus meeting; it’s only going to make her more defensive.

Her reaction isn’t that weird; again, it’s more unvarnished than mine would have been, but I would be a little ooked out myself.And no, I wouldn’t have been that negative out loud, to Mr. S, but if I really didn’t think it was going to work out, better to just let that happen and not cause any bad feelings unnecessarily.I question her decision to go that route, but I do think that calling her on it at this point is going to inflame the situation.

Leave her out of it, is what I’d do.Talk to her about other stuff; if she asks about the brother, don’t lie, but don’t bring it up or make it into A Whole Family Issue, because she’s going to take that as proof that she’s right to react ungraciously.And tell her bro not to tell you shit she says, either, because you’re really better off not knowing.If a year goes by and she hasn’t come around, okay, change the plan, but for now, deal with the two of them separately and don’t be taking the temperature of her opinion all the time.Deal with the relationship on its own terms and let her deal with it on her own terms, but right now, she’s not your job, and shouldn’t be.

[12/12/06]

Share!