I have a feeling this might be The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin.The
version I had as a child had a lot of red on the cover, the stock market
does figure prominently in one of the character’s storylines, and they all
certainly spend a fair amount of time in the Westing mansion.

M

Dear M,

The overwhelming majority of readers agreed with you that it’s The Westing Game, and many mentioned that, while current editions don’t have a red cover, the older ones they read as kids did.

I did get a handful of other suggestions, including The Mysterious Disappearance of Leon (I Mean Noel), by the same author; The Egypt Game, by Zilpha K. Snyder; A Billion for Boris, by Mary Rodgers (who also wrote Freaky Friday); The Toothpaste Millionaire, by Jean Morrill; and Go Jump in the Pool, by Gordon Kormon.

Readers also suggested that Swear try community.livejournal.com/whatwasthatbook and www.loganberrybooks.com/stump.html for this and other book mysteries.

Dear Sars:

The time has come, the walrus said, for me to stop reading your judicious responses to other people’s problems and present one of my own.

I have a very good girlfriend, K. Last year, I was invited to a wedding, and since I was single and I knew K had not been invited, I asked K to be my date. She accepted, I RSVPed and all was well.

So, last week, three days before the wedding, K phoned to cancel, citing various excuses: she was broke, she was unwell, she couldn’t take the time off work, she wasn’t sure the bride would want her there, and so on. We both live in a mountainous region that is a 12-hour drive from where the wedding was taking place. Originally, knowing we could split the gas and entertain each other, I had planned to drive. After her abrupt and ill-timed cop-out, I was forced to rethink my plan and fly instead. The difference in cost was fairly significant and also extremely annoying (and will become more relevant as the story continues).

During the litany of lame excuses, I was irritated with K’s decision to ditch me for a number of reasons (i.e. K seemed to have enough money and time off work to fly across the country to see her boyfriend on a whim last month, she had known about the wedding for many moons and the whole bride thing just seemed like an excuse) but the greatest irritant of all was the fact that there is a massive music festival happening on the weekend following the wedding, which I know K wants to go to.

So, I asked K directly if I was being ditched in favour of the festival. She adamantly denied this, stating she wasn’t even sure if she was going and that it was the last thing on her mind.

I bought it, and went to the wedding solo, which was not ideal, but it was a wedding and eventually everyone intermingled and it wasn’t a big deal.About two hours after I returned, K called me to see how the shindig had gone. We chatted for a while, then I asked her how her weekend went. Turns out she spent the weekend setting up her campsite on the festival grounds and getting ready for the event. I was choked when I heard that, and still am. I ended the conversation shortly after, but not before she had a chance to urge me to come to the festival.

So. How do I proceed? She has sent me an email asking why I got off the phone so quickly and whether or not I am going to come to the festival, and I have not yet replied. There is no question as to whether or not this will be discussed between us, but I am reluctant to bombard her with my resentment and anger right before she goes to this (cursed) festival. Even though I am angry with her, I don’t want to ruin her days there…but her insensitivity towards my lack of funds, which have been drained largely because of her actions, combined with her seeking out answers from me may prompt a freak-out on my part.

How can I hold my temper until after the music stops? Or should I even bother?

Signed,
Festival hater

Dear Hater,

I don’t understand why you’d want to wait to tell her how you feel; if it ruins her “time” at the festival, that’s kind of her problem.If you’re holding off because you don’t want to lose your temper and scream at her, okay, take a few days, but given that your issue with her seems to boil down to the fact that she’s inconsiderate and doesn’t honor commitments, I’m not sure I see why you want to honor her commitment to go to the festival.

I think you should tell her everything you just told me — that you didn’t appreciate the last-minute flake; that you feel like she was making things up so she wouldn’t have to go and that, furthermore, it didn’t matter enough to her to suck it up, when it should have; that you don’t appreciate feeling like her set-up for the festival is more important to her than doing what she said she’d do.She behaved inconsiderately and cost you money, and you’ll get over it, but you’re angry and you don’t want to pretend otherwise.

I mean, maybe she really didn’t feel well, but if she’s going to play the broke card…festivals cost money to attend.I’m just saying.And if she was too sick to travel, it’s…interesting that she felt well enough to set up a campsite.Yeah, sometimes we make plans and then, when they roll around, we’re not psyched about them, but that’s tough.Tell her so.Rehearse it if you have to, so that you can remain calm, not yell, and not be tempted to apologize for bringing it up or to qualify your statements/back down.But…she’s full of shit, I think, and you don’t have to end the friendship over this kind of thing, but she probably does need to know that it won’t fly.

Dear Sars,

I occasionally travel for business with a coworker, “Fred.”When we stop and eat at restaurants, Fred does not tip.Another coworker asked him about it, and Fred said that he’s just cheap.He gets reimbursed for meals, so the money would not come out of his pocket — unless he’s padding his wallet by claiming tips on his expense report.I was a server throughout college, so I know how hard it is to put effort into giving good service, just to be rewarded with…nada.We are often in rural towns with few dining options, so take-out and fast food aren’t always an option.

I know he has the right to leave whatever he wants, but it embarrasses me so much that I end up tipping for him, discreetly.Any suggestions?

Thanks,
Tipsy

Dear Tipsy,

Suggestions as to…what?Getting him to see that he needs to tip?Or covering for him because he doesn’t?

In my experience, people who don’t tip won’t learn.You can ask Fred yourself what’s up with that, and tell him you think he should leave a gratuity, and share your experience as a server, but based on the non-tippers I’ve run across, it’s not going to do any good — he really doesn’t care.There’s a very strong social code regarding tipping, and if he’s already chosen not to observe it, he’s not going to be shamed into it by a plea from you.Feel free to take a run at it, but…won’t work.

After that, it’s up to you, and you have two choices: let him keep shorting the server, and let him then live with the consequences; or cover the tip for him (and claim it on your own expense report, if you can).But he doesn’t care about the consequences, like I said, so if I were you, I’d cover it, especially if it’s a place we’re likely to eat in again — or I’d just grab the bill and handle it myself each time, especially if I’m getting reimbursed.

[12/19/06]

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