Sars,

This is a genius idea.I’d like to ask Keckler a simple question: How do I
cook chicken breasts in the oven so that they aren’t too dry, or so pink that
my small intestine cramps just looking at it?All I want is some tender
chicken that I can use in salads or quesadillas, et cetera.I always marinade and, for
the life of me, I cannot get this right on a regular basis.

Thanks,
Picky Chick

Dear Picky:

Nothing could be easier once you have a thermometer to poke the little suckers with. If you don’t have one yet, go now and without delay to get one. Seriously. Without delay. Do you have it now? Okay, good. Safe chicken is 160 º chicken.

I’m not sure what you prefer, but I go for both boneless and skinless breasts. The skin-on breasts just present all kinds of problems that I don’t like to deal with, and the bones are pointless if you’re just going to hack up the breast for salad or sandwiches. Now, for maximum juicy tenderness I always bake my breasts in a 375 º oven for 12 to 17 minutes. Do a temperature check around minute 12 to see how far your oven thinks you are. Covering the breasts with foil will speed cooking time slightly and it will also keep them moist. You’ll end up piercing the breasts when you temperature test them, and if the juices run clear and without blood, they are definitely done.

An alternative and faster way to cook those babies is it to shove them under the broiler. Put your rack six inches from the broiler and turn it on. Spray broiler-pan top with vegetable cooking spray; place chicken breasts on top and broil chicken until lightly browned, 4 to 8 minutes. Using tongs, flip the breasts over and continue to broil until thickest part is no longer pink when cut into (about 6 to 8 minutes) and registers 160 º on your handy-dandy, brand-spankin’ new thermometer that you ran out and got before you finished reading this.

If you cook a flock of breasts at once and want to save them in the fridge, wrapping them tightly in plastic will keep them from drying out too much. Also, not slicing them up until you are ready to use them is another way to seal in juiciness.

Dear Sars:

So, it’s like this. My husband and I are considering buying a house
in approximately a year, when our current lease is up. We both agree on
the neighborhood we like, the kind of house we want, et cetera.

The only problem is this: he’s a computer programmer, and in the
city where we live there are very few tech companies (the one he
currently works for is almost literally the only one). My job alone
cannot support us, if he gets laid off, and in this economy, that’s a
definite possibility.

Therefore, if he loses this job, we would definitely have to move
to another city, probably in another state, and the delay involved in
getting rid of a house would be an immense strain on us, mostly
financially. However, the same shitty economy that would make it so hard
to sell a house also means that now is a terrific time to buy one:
mortgage rates are low, people will bend over backwards to help you, and
so on.

So, what would you do? Go ahead and buy the house while the buyin’
is good and hope for the best? Or play it safe and stay out of the real
estate market until things seem more stable?

Footloose, For Now

Dear Foot,

I would go ahead and buy the house.A lot of things that seem like an immense strain are the very things worth going ahead and doing, and you can and will handle the hassle of selling the house if the need arises.

But if you’re worried about it, hold off and put some savings aside before you buy — and when you do buy, don’t buy out of your price range simply because interest rates are favorable.Stick to your budget and don’t settle.

It’s a big investment, but that doesn’t change much no matter what economy you find yourself in.If you think you’re ready, go for it.

Love your work, too bad that’s not the only reason I’m writing.I’ll try and keep this is brief as I can.

The day before my wedding, I was killing time on my computer, deleting cookies, old files, et cetera.I happened across a folder where instant messenger has been saving conversations.I was going to just delete them but one caught my eye — between my (then) fiance (“Hubby”) and his ex-girlfriend.Yeah, I shouldn’t have snooped and read it, but I’m only human and I did.It starts out normal enough, them talking about the wedding, but progresses into heavy flirting — specifically, he called her “princess,” they talked of seeing each other over the holidays, she joked they’d end up together someday, and he ended with an “I love you.”This conversation took place days before the wedding.

So, I freaked out, fessed up to reading it, and confronted Hubby about it.He explains that the conversation was all a joke, mostly written by his best friend.Apparently their idea of a good time is to mess with Hubby’s exes’ minds in that manner.Sick and twisted, but Hubby and Best Friend can be like that.I’m pissed that Hubby did something that sick and inapporpriate, especially just before our wedding.He apologizes, emails the ex to say it was a joke and there is nothing between them.We get married the next day, I do my best to believe and forget.

So, time passes, and this morning I am innocently going to empty the trash on the computer.What do I find?A shortcut for a singles/swingers site in my state.Suspicious, I check the history…yep, someone’s been to that website, specifically, the registration page.Same routine, tell Hubby what I found, ask what’s up.Once again, it’s Best Friend’s fault, he signed Hubby up for the service as a joke.

I had infinite faith in Hubby before these incidents, but as you can tell, it’s waning.Yes, Best Friend is the type of guy to play a joke like this, and yes, it would make him happy if Hubby dumped me.But on the other hand, the coincidence that both times it looks as if Hubby is straying it’s this guy’s fault is a little hard to swallow.So, Sars, I need help.Is his friend a dick, or am I in denial and married to scum?And of course, it’s not as simple as just that, because I’m pregnant.Do I stay with Hubby regardless for the baby?Do I get out as soon as I can?Do I just need to learn to trust Hubby?

Thanks,
I Wouldn’t Have This Ulcer If I Stopped Snooping Around The Computer

Dear Ulcer,

The whole story sounds hinky to me; yeah, maybe Hubby’s telling the truth, but if he is, he has questionable taste in friends, or questionable judgment, or both.

And yeah, you shouldn’t have snooped, but he shouldn’t have left the stuff for you to find…and he did, which suggests to me, along with the fact that his best friend is apparently trying to get him in trouble with you, that he’s probably telling the truth.And is kind of stupid about this sort of thing.

Talk to him about both incidents and tell him that if it happens again, it’s going to call the marriage into serious question, because either he’s cheating and lying about it, or he’s not respectful enough of your feelings to tell his friend to knock it off with that shit.Don’t let him give you that “oh, have a sense of humor” business, either, because it’s not really that funny — what is he, ten years old?He needs to pick a side, and unless his weirdo juvenile friend wants to come over and change diapers, it had better be yours.

[12/2/03]

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