Hi Sars —

This doesn’t necessarily address the alarm part, but Seriously
Sleepless in Seattle mentioned her earplugs falling out — she might
want to consider custom earplugs.I have mine made at the annual
motorcycle show (I’m a biker), but I believe most audiologists will
make them as well.Since they’re silicon and custom-made, they won’t
fall out of your ears at night and are very comfortable. Mine were
about $40/pair and they last for years if you clean the wax off
regularly (eww).

I’m also a light sleeper, and my fiance goes to bed about four hours
after I do at night, and the custom earplugs have really saved our
relationship (no exaggeration).I have my own alarm clock by my
side of the bed and have never slept through it, even with the
earplugs.

C

Dear C,

Thanks for the tip!Other suggestions appear below, with multiples asterisked.

Have husband set his cell phone to vibrate, set the alarm on it, and put it under his pillow*
Same as above, but put cell phone in his underwear
The Moonbeam clock from L.L. Bean*
Set the alarm clock radio to really annoying station that will get husband up
Husband should go to doctor to test for sleep apnea/adenoid problems/et cetera*
Get a clock radio with a CD player so each can choose different sounds to wake up to
Set a timer to turn a light on a few minutes before the alarm goes off
The Sleeptracker Wake-Up Monitor*
The Serenity Alarm Clock
A zen alarm clock from www.now-zen.com
Shove husband out of bed after second snooze
Sleep in separate rooms
Foam earplugs

Hey, Sars!

These are far from earth-shattering questions. Simple curiosity on my part. I’ve been reading your site while at work, because I have so very, very little to do. How little, you ask? I’ve read through your entire archives. Actually, I polished off the archives a while back, and am now reading old Vines. (Not all of them — I usually don’t remember where I leave off from day to day. But…a lot.) Anyways, two questions arose while reading through your wisdom and wit:

1) You refer to the 11C in many of your grammar question responses. I feel kinda silly asking, but…what’s the 11C? I like writing and editing, and I own Garner, but I’m quite curious about this other reference you keep using.

2) Does it weird you out when people begin their letters to you “Divine Sars,” “O Wise One,” et cetera? It just seems like the kinda thing that would bother me a bit. You don’t have to answer this question if you don’t want to, I’m just curious.

Anyways, thanks for your wonderfully entertaining website! It’s made my excruciatingly boring job a little less boring.

Sincerely,
Curious TN Fan

Dear Curious,

The 11C is the Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition.It’s my default dictionary.I still have my 9C and 10C shelved near my desk, because I am a nerd.

I don’t really notice the “O Wise Sars” stuff at this point.My deal with editing the letters for upload is that I try to make them physically easy to read, but I don’t really monkey with them otherwise, because I want my answers to make sense.If there’s effusion up top, I generally cut it so the letter gets to its point faster, but after six years, I’ve kind of tuned out the salutations unless they’re creating a formatting issue.

Dear Sars,

I have a hostess question for you.In a few days, I will be visiting family in D.C. for a week.Since flights were cheaper to Baltimore rather than Dulles, I elected to fly into Baltimore.One of my friends from college lives outside Baltimore and offered to pick me up from the airport, show me around the city, let me crash on her couch and then deposit me at the metro station the next day so I can metro into D.C. to meet my family.My problem involves the hostess gift.

I know etiquette states that I should give her a gift of appreciation, but more than that, I am genuinely thankful that she’s picking me up and showing me around, so I want to get her something nice.However, I’m completely stumped on what to get my friend.Jane is a really fun, very cool girl who majored in environmental science in college, loved to hang out at the coffeehouse, and could care less about hair, makeup or fashion.Normally, for a hostess gift, I’d give a pretty candle or some bath salts, or the old standby — a bottle of red wine.But Jane isn’t the candle/bath salts type and doesn’t drink alcohol, so the wine’s out too.I’ve been thinking about this for days, and I just can’t think of anything, and I really want to tell her I’m grateful.Thanks for any help you can provide!

Sincerely,
Would gourmet coffee and an Annie Dillard book be tacky?

Dear I Don’t See Why,

I’d love to get coffee and a book from an out-of-town guest; I love coffee and I love to read.The point of a hostess gift is to show appreciation for your host’s thoughtfulness with a thoughtful gesture of your own, so you don’t have to stick to hidebound stuff like soap or booze; it should be something tailored to the host/ess in question, so if Jane likes Annie Dillard and Starbucks, that’s a perfect gift.

A nice dinner, a shirt from a designer she likes, a museum membership she wouldn’t ordinarily spend money on herself — go with stuff she enjoys.The specifics aren’t that important.

[12/5/06]

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