I was catching up with some of the Vines I missed over the holidays and attempting to get my mind off this problem that has been plaguing me for a few days, when I realized I should put the two together and just send you an e-mail about it.

My boyfriend and I enjoy a fairly happy relationship when the two of us are alone. But if anyone else is around, he drives me crazy. He comes from this hysterically conservative family, and he claims to hate that aspect of his family. However, if we pass by anyone with a trendy, frat-boy haircut and a nice car, he calls him a drunk and then goes off on a random tirade about the evils of alcohol (personally, I have no problem with drinking, and I had been known to get quite sloshed before we hooked up). He freaks out if I, or any of my friends, swear at all (obviously this isn’t a problem for me either). The thing is, he has absolutely no problem having sex all of the time, and I find it completely hypocritical of him to call me “unchristian” when muttering “damn” under my breath in traffic.

Also, if there is no possibility that we could possibly have sex, he will find something to do besides hanging out with me. It is really depressing and confusing when he goes on one of his religious jags and I am left with unanswered e-mails and voice-mail until he decides he is tired of being crazy-religious boy.

He is also positive that we are going to get married. I think this is a combination of this being the longest relationship he has ever had, and his justification of the sex stuff. And I have to admit that I haven’t exactly been innocent in his daydream-ish plans, because I really enjoy him when he isn’t being such a freak. But since his last bout of ignoring me unless he was sure there was sex to be had, I am starting to feel a bit trapped when he starts conversations with “So, do you think you want to have babies as soon as we get married or what?”

I realize that by not telling him about this immediately I am also somewhat hypocritical, but I am really worried about how he will react. Obviously, I haven’t made the good things about this relationship as clear as the bad things, but he (however sad this may sound) is the nicest guy I have ever dated. We have also been friends since we were twelve, and if I break his heart, I think our eight-year friendship will be over completely.

My question is — should I try to talk to him about this? Or should I just break up with him and run for my life?

Rilo