Been a long, long while since I visited your site. It has really blossomed. Glad to see things haven’t changed all that much, content-wise.

Here is one for you.

After a quick courtship and an unplanned little one, I married the man I know I am suppose to spend the rest of my life with. However, as you can imagine, we are still learning things about each other.

We grew up about 20-30 miles away from each other and he is five years older then me. He was out of the Navy before I even graduated from high school.

Due to my inability to “leave my mothers womb,” I convinced him to move to my side of town, where all my friends and family reside. As a result, the probability of running into ex-boyfriends is high. Here is where the problem comes in. My husband has “THE RULE,” which in fact is not something made up, as I have asked several of his high-school friends about it and they all concur. When in a situation where an ex shows up, his “ass must be beaten, unless he backs down.” I don’t have a problem with the asses of my exes being kicked; however, I do have a problem with my husband looking like an ass in front of my friends. See, my group of friends and the people associated with them include several men I have dated, had sex with, or have had long-term relationships with. I have had to avoid social gatherings, not attended parties, et cetera because of my husband’s “rule.” One particular situation was my best friend’s birthday party that I didn’t attend because my best friend refused to not ask my ex of four years not to show. (He is one of those exes that doesn’t deserve the friendship of my friends, but her lack of loyalty is a whole different issue.)

So, my question is this — do I forge ahead with my husband and leave my past in my past and miss out on all the social gatherings? Or is there some way to convince my husband that he is a boob and that his barbarian attitude may have worked in the fifties, but in the new millennium, we are all striving for peace. Mind you, my husband is the type of guy who has no desire to know any part of my sexual history and feels there is no need to divulge his. (I have no idea how many sexual partners he has had, though I have asked and asked…)

I know a lot of this is background, which I think is important information, because it is more than just “my husband is an ass.” I understand that he doesn’t feel comfortable being buddies with someone who has been intimate with his wife. However, I haven’t been to a party with “all the people I know” since I have been with my husband, and have basically cut my socialization down to movies and dinner with the girls, while my husband’s life has been business as usual. Granted most of his friends are married, while mine are single.

Any ideas? Have you even heard of such a “rule”? I mean in my hood, girls hook up with their exes’ best friends and vice versa all the time and it really isn’t a big deal.

Thanks for reading, anyway.
Mrs. Missing Out