The Vine: January 16, 2001
Hi!
I need some advice — do you think there is something wrong with an older woman/younger man relationship? There is a seven-year age difference between us — I really like him a lot, we have fun, get along well, et cetera. My friends say that a younger man is unstable, will use me, and that it simply will not work and that the man should be older. I don’t like the feeling that I am doing something wrong either.
Could you give me some advice — thanks.
Michelle
Dear Michelle,
Well, a lot depends on your actual ages. There’s a world of difference between the average eighteen-year-old man and the average twenty-five-year-old woman, and I wouldn’t give a relationship between a guy in late adolescence and a girl in her mid-twenties good odds of surviving.
If you’re both a bit older than that, though — if he’s twenty-five, say, and you’re thirty-two — it works a bit better. He’s a little closer to your maturity level, he’s lived in the world a little while, and he’s more likely to know what he wants.
I know it’s annoying when your friends get all judgy about your love life, but if the guy in question is younger than twenty-five, I have to agree with them. A man younger than twenty-five isn’t settled in himself, usually, and while there’s always an exception, it doesn’t bear counting on. If he’s that much younger than you, have fun, but don’t make any big future plans with him in them.
Tags: boys (and girls)
