The Vine: January 17, 2007
Hi Sars,
I’m a chronic nailbiter as well, and the following has helped me manage it:
1. Getting acrylic nails.
2. Twice-monthly manicure/pedicures.
It sounds silly, but when I know I’ve spent a certain amount of money on my nails, I’m reluctant to chew them! It’s not a 100% cure, because I have nibbled at the end of my manicure’s “lifespan” when a nail splits. (I don’t chew at all with acrylics.) But the money factor keeps me from gnawing a good long while…and they look much nicer, too.
In this case, my inherent cheapness works to my advantage. Good luck to “Cool.”
Always love your site,
SP
Dear SP,
Thanks for the suggestions, which many other readers agreed with; other ideas appear below. As always, I’ve asterisked those I received more than once.
Keep lotion/salve handy; moisturize instead of nibbling *
Ditto nail clippers and a file — trim and even up immediately, then there’s nothing to bite *
Keep your nails super-short
Coat fingers in something nasty-tasting or super-spicy, like Tabasco, raw chili, or Thum/Bitrex *
Put a rubber band around your wrist(s); snap it, hard, whenever you put your fingers in/near your mouth *
Find a reason to type a lot
Reapply polish every night — the act distracts you, the polish itself deters you *
Put on a bunch of coats of polish, so you can pick at it/peel it off instead of biting your nails *
Clear medical tape or Band-Aids on the fingertips *
Hypnotism
Chewing gum/lollipops *
Chew pen caps instead
Think about all the germs that might get into your mouth *
Tips and wraps
Sit on your hands when you feel the urge
Do piano-fingering exercises instead
Wear gloves all the time *
Quit gradually, one finger at a time *
Wear bracelets with moving parts, the better to fidget with instead
Start knitting/doing something crafty *
Squeezing one of those stress-ball toys
Figure out what your triggers are, and try to avoid/manage them
for the damaged cuticles — Healthy Hoof
…or Burt’s Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream *
Don’t Shoot the Dog: The New Art of Teaching and Training, by Karen Pryor
Hiya Sars!
My one-year-plus boyfriend was out of town this past weekend. I had won tickets (lucky me!) to a big race. I HATE going to events by myself, so asked every person in my home group and at worship practise to go with me, with negative results. The last person I asked (out of about 25) was a guy, one of the only two single males my age (late 20s) that attend my church. He said he liked racing as well, so we went, and my boyfriend was fine with that (though a tad jealous that he didn’t get to go, as that’s one of our shared hobbies).
However, I was looked at askance by some church members, mainly women, when they found out who I was going with, and was pointedly asked, “Does [my boyfriend] know?” as though I was sneaking around behind his back.
How should I phrase a response to these people (one of whom was the pastor’s wife) in a kind and loving way, without verbally bristling and making them assume even more? I have zero romantic interest in the guy that I went to the race with, though we did chat and had a fairly good time. Also, we are part of the same worship team, so hanging out ought not be an issue, in my mind. Apparently, I am in the minority.
Just looking for a little guidance.
Thanks!
Platonics And Apologetics Ought To Mix!
Dear And To Keep Their Traps Shut,
“…Why do you ask?” You can say it pleasantly — quizzically, in fact, as though you really don’t get it, because…well, you don’t. What’s it to them who you attend social functions with? Why do they care?
Your other option is “No, he doesn’t — [other guy] and I are trying to keep our torrid affair a secret. Thanks for understanding.” Kind of bitchy, granted, but I don’t think I see how these people have earned a “kind and loving” response from you when it’s evidently their assumption that, if not attended by your boyfriend, you’ll trip and fall onto this other dude’s dick.
It’s not really their business; your response should be phrased accordingly, in my view.
Hi Sars,
My boyfriend and I are having a little debate. In what I believe is an attempt to cover up his poor spelling, he claims that the second “o” in “too” has largely been dropped in modern vernacular. Preliminary Google searches turn up nothing to confirm or deny his theory. I’ve also scanned many, many articles on the Boston Globe website and, while I can’t find an instance of “too,” I also can’t find an instance where “to” is used in its place.
Please let me know if you’ve come across this language shift. We’ll be taking cheap shots at each other about this until we can find a definitive answer.
Thanks,
TWO Os!
Dear Two,
The prevalence of ignorant or lazy usage does not make said usage black-letter law. Your boyfriend is full of shit.
Tags: Ask The Readers etiquette grammar
