I’m sixteen, and have zero business experience. A few months ago, I applied to be on the school newspaper, and made it. Then they gave us a letter saying that we have to sell $300 dollars worth of ads a year to keep the paper running, or else we’re kicked off. $150 of that is due in a couple of weeks (I KNOW!). I’m not thrilled about pimping myself all over town, but I figured I can do it.

Here’s the question(s): I finally got my nerve up a little under three weeks ago, and hit the streets asking about seven independent stores and restaurants if they were interested. I put together a packet of the information the school gave us to hand out that contains all the needed information (price, issues, et cetera), my number, and an envelope addressed to myself, in case they just wanted to go ahead and mail the forms back to me. I also put together a friendly routine of “Hi, I’m from such-and-such high school, we’re putting together our advertising list for the next school year, would you be interested?” complete with hand shake and a big smile.

Three weeks passed, and here I am, with nary a reply. I figured you have to deal with advertisers all the time, so you might be able to help me out. Is it rude for me to call the businesses back after I visit them and ask if they’re still interested, considering they said they’d get back to me? Should I take the hint? When I visit a business, should I not leave until I’ve made a sale, or give them time to think it over? Is there anything else I should tell them when I first visit them? Should I just keep asking for the owner or manager when I first walk in, or is that rude? Am I right in assuming to not even try chains of businesses because they wouldn’t be interested? Help!! Any tips of the trade you can offer, I’d be most eternally grateful.

Signed,
Refuses to say, “But it’s for a good cause!”

I’ve wanted to write you with this very problem quite a few times, but then things always seem to get “better” for just long enough to lull me into thinking everyone involved is sane. Unfortunately, my best friend doesn’t currently (and maybe never will) belong to the sane camp. Oh, where to begin…

We met in high school, when I was 17 and she was 15. At the time, the age gap seemed small. Maybe she was mature for her age, maybe I was immature for mine — it doesn’t matter. She’s always been a little self-centered, but for a long time the great things about the friendship outweighed the little sacrifices I made to avoid her tantrums. Over time, though, maybe I made one too many little sacrifices, and her pouting and narcissism began to grate. By the time I was 20 and she 18, I was ready to take a break from her, and it was made easy for me because that spring she graduated high school, I finished at my junior college, and we both went away to universities on separate coasts. I breathed a sigh of relief — no more naggy ME-ME-ME all the time. We still communicated, mostly via AIM, and she really seemed to be growing up. That first year apart it was like the distance brought us closer together. But this past year…it’s been hell time after time, and I’m not sure how to handle it.

The best way to describe it (and her) is just plain selfish. Without getting into seriously petty backstory, she has flipped out on me on three different occasions in the past year for three utterly stupid reasons. Once a year ago, because I couldn’t afford to visit her east coast summer internship (I’d just visited her in April, and I had to spend the summer working). The second, just before Christmas, was because I had a boyfriend, and she wanted us to be cool and single like the girls on Sex and the City, but I was ruining it by having a boyfriend I was serious about (I’m not kidding — almost verbatim). The last, about a month ago, was because I was entertaining my boyfriend at my parent’s house while on vacation, and our other plans prevented us from attending a last-minute taco dinner at her mom’s (which are great — I was bummed to miss it myself, but they’ve always been an informal “come if you’re not busy” kind of deal). She’s said approximately three words to me since I called to tell her I couldn’t make it to dinner: “Okay, goodbye” as I was leaving town.

I suppose that somehow I still believe that she really will grow up one of these days, but I’m guessing you’re going to tell me I’m wrong. I know that I’m wrong. As bitchy as she can be, though, she’s been my best friend for a number of years, and it hurts to realize that we’ve grown apart to the point that I don’t really want her in my life anymore. I’m certain that such a realization would hurt her, too, which I don’t want to do. I know she probably expects that she’ll show up at the party I’m having next weekend, not be a bitch, and we’ll be friends again (when we’re friends, she calls almost every day).

So my question is — how do I start cutting her out gently? If she’s at the party, if she starts calling? Do just stop answering? That seems harsh. Do I sit her down and “break up” with her? That seems silly and overly dramatic. Really, any tips on how to walk away as painlessly as possible would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Done with the Drama

I’ve never been socially outgoing, but more of a shy and quiet type. That said, I think I may be pushing the definition of “just shy” a little bit. I’m starting my second year of college with an extremely small dorm room all to myself. Last year, I had a roommate picked for me at random, and we just weren’t meant to be friends. We were civil, and never fought, but just had nothing in common at all and weren’t even in the room at the same time very much. During that year, I made one good friend, and a wonderful boyfriend. But that’s all, out of the thousands of people on campus.

This year, I resolved to be more outgoing, to meet people and not just wait to be met. It hasn’t worked. At all. I don’t even see my “good friend” very often, and have talked to maybe half a dozen people who talked to me first. The one incident that prompted this letter, however, was last night, when I was sitting in my room with the door closed, just chilling, and heard some guys in the hall knocking on every door in the hall to get to know everyone. What did I do? I shut off my computer, turned off the light and hid behind the door so as to make absolutely sure they couldn’t see me through the peephole. After they had left, I felt relieved but guilty about hiding. I felt guilty because I should have just set aside my anxiety, put on a happy face, and met the guys. But I did feel kind of relieved that I’d avoided the situation and succeeded in being left alone.

Do I need help? Am I being too tough on myself? Is this something I can fix on my own? Please help, Sars!

Anxiously wondering if she’s too anxious

I was taught in seventh grade that the only time you use a postfix
apostrophe instead of the full “‘s” is when you have a plural noun ending in
“s.” So you would add an ‘s to “Hobey,” “mice,” and “Sars,” but not to
“cats.” Based on my experience, it should have been “Her Holiness’s.” The
response was that you wouldn’t use it for things like “Jesus’ disciples.”
Google tends to support that, yielding 39,000 matches with the postfix, and
only 1300 matches with the full “‘s.” My office mate suggested that I try
Microsoft Word’s grammar checker, but it accepted both alternatives. I’ve
had this argument in the past and never reached a conclusion, so I thought
I’d ask an expert and get peace of mind about it. I suspect I’m wrong, it
would make me feel better to know it, rather than simply suspect it.

Which is it? Is it both? Does it matter whether it is a proper noun or
not? And, finally, if postfix is correct, how would you pronounce it? I
tend to pronounce them as “catses toys,” which is part of the reason I feel
it should be the full “‘s.”

Thank you for helping me out here.
Possessed of a confusion about possession

Can you stand another questions about cats? My story: I recently moved into a small one-bedroom condo and was considering getting a cat from the local animal shelter. I am only allowed one, according to my landlady, and was a little concerned about leaving it alone for long periods of time. I know cats sleep a lot, and are pretty self-sufficent, but at least one day a week I have a class after work and am gone from 6 AM to about 10 PM.

I grew up with cats, but we always had at least two at a time. Any suggestions? Are my fears groundless? I really love cats and would welcome the company.

Thanks,
Cat-mom wannabe