Just quick recommendations from someone who has read these books, and oh, too many others:

Terry Eagleton’s Literary Theory: An Introduction is short and engaging. It provides a quick overview of many schools of thought and, though he uses some intellectual mumbo-jumbo, it’s more than readable. He is a Marxist, and it’s obvious, but his own bias doesn’t prevent him from giving excellent synopses of other schools. It’s cheap, too.

David Lodge’s Modern Criticism and Theory: A Reader covers pretty much everything and collects many seminal essays by major thinkers. It’s, in my mind, one of the essential first books for a budding literary critic who doesn’t want to invest in a huge library before she knows what she likes. A great reference tool and sampler, though probably not something someone would sit down and read cover-to-cover, like Eagleton’s book. It does have the advantage of starting you out actually reading the critics and thinkers, rather than reading someone else’s view of what the movement is. It’s not as cheap as the Eagleton, but not nearly as spendy as the Norton.

Just my two cents. Haven’t read the Culler, but I fear the Norton, while comprehensive, would be overwhelming.

Thanks,
Can’t Keep My Trap Shut When It Comes To Books

I have a dilemma. My boyfriend and I have been living together about two months now. He basically moved across the country to be with me and to this point, things have been good. But yesterday, while trying to hunt down an address among his things, I came across a pile of photos. Since I had already seen most of his pictures before, I was flipping through, laughing at his former hairstyles, et cetera. But then I came across something that stopped me cold: pornographic Polaroids of him with another woman, coupled with many naked photos of this woman. While I know the woman in the picture was a former girlfriend, I was very upset that these pictures would be here in our home, in his nightstand table no less.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude. If that’s what they were into, more power to them. The part that bothers me is that these shots are in my house, and now, in my mind. Plus, our sex life has slowed waaaaay down since he moved here.

I confronted him about it, as I knew I would go nuts if I didn’t. His response was that she still had some shots too, and he wanted to keep these as a warped kind of “insurance.” He also said that since they were buried among other things in his drawer, he didn’t think they would cause any problems. He was very dismissive about it and we basically moved on to other conversation shortly thereafter.

But this morning, he was cold and distant, and I now don’t know how to act. I did apologize for what he may perceive as an invasion of his privacy, but honestly, I haven’t brought anything to our home that I would worry about him looking at, so I assumed the same of him. My question now is, do I broach the topic again and risk driving a deeper wedge between us, or do I just need to get over it?

Sign me,
Torn apart

I’ve got a bit of a stupid problem and I was hoping you could help me out.

First off, I’m an 18-year-old university student, living on my own in a pretty big city. I was very excited about moving here, after growing up in a pretty dead sort of town where I didn’t have many friends and with a family that was fairly…dysfunctional, to say the least. In school, I was pretty much okay on a social level up until I was 14, when, for some reason, I started to become plagued with these crazy little doubts and gradually found it harder and harder to be with new people or in new situations. Around my close friends and family, I was comfortable, but outside of that, I was just completely inept.

I promised myself when I moved here, though, that I would make a clean start, become a social butterfly or something, but it’s been a year and I haven’t made a single friend. I just can’t seem to handle any types of situations at college that involve talking to people, as much as I want to. I failed my Russian class last semester because it involved a lot of reading aloud in Russian, and for the first few classes, I would just sit there paralysed with my head down, praying that the tutor wouldn’t call on me to read or ask me a question, until I finally just stopped going. I knew the material because I practiced at home and really loved learning the language, but every time I was called upon, I could feel everyone looking at me, waiting for me to make a mistake, and I just wanted to be anywhere but there.

My other classes were okay because they involved larger groups, but this semester, I’ve had three classes that I think I’m going to fail because of similar reasons to the Russian course, or because of a string of other silly excuses. For example, I missed my first English tute of the semester because I got the times confused; the next week, I stood outside the door for about 20 minutes trying to work up the nerve to just walk in. Eventually I just went home because I was afraid I’d be asked to explain why I’d missed the first tute, and that I’d missed a lot of pivotal stuff and would have to ask for extra help. The same thing happened the next two weeks until eventually I just stopped trying because after missing four tutes, there was pretty much no point any more anyway.

I mean, this is the most stupid thing ever, I know. What kind of an idiot fails a class because they’re afraid to go in? I tried to talk to my best friend back home about it, and she told me I was just being lazy as usual. Which is true, I am lazy, but…I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t want to do the work or that I’m not interested in the class, it’s just that, well, I don’t know what it is. I was so excited about going to this great school, but most of the time, I just want to stay hidden in my room with my Buffy tapes and my computer.

I did make somewhat of a friend a couple of months ago — this guy, “Daniel.” We hung out after classes quite a few times, just in the library or on the front lawns, but one time after English, he touched me on the shoulder. And here’s the other thing. I just can’t stand to have people touching me. It made me so uncomfortable, even though he was just patting my shoulder in a friendly sort of way, and it’s not just him. In general, I hate it, from guys and other girls alike. Yet at the same time, I crave that kind of affection from people, and want nothing more than a boyfriend to hold me, but when I actually get it, it gives me the wig. I can’t really explain the feeling, but I just start to panic and feel like I can’t breathe and all I want is to be curled up in my room hugging something…inanimate. Pathetic, I know. Even worse, I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid Daniel ever since, i.e. not going to our shared classes anymore, et cetera, even though I miss his company. At first, I only had a problem with the physical contact with strangers, but now if even a family member touches me, I tense up and try to back away.

I don’t know. I just feel like such a failure and I know it’s all my own fault for being so stupid about these little things, but it’s just, like, I can’t help it as much as I try. Even if I just have to make a phone call, I rehearse what I’m going to say five million times so I won’t make a fool of myself and usually end up backing out anyway. Again, pathetic. I don’t really feel like I’m just being lazy, but maybe I am. If I wanted friends and a boyfriend bad enough, I could probably get them if I just tried harder. I’m constantly wracked with guilt about all the classes I’ve missed, and I’ve had to lie to my parents about my grades so as not to disappoint them. I went home for one week this past month and felt better, but now I’m back here and it doesn’t feel like much has changed. My parents can’t afford to fly me home for Christmas, so I’m pretty much stuck here and the only thing that ever seems to make me feel any better is curling up in bed under the covers, putting some classic Buffy on, hugging my pillow, and cutting myself.

Basically, I don’t even really know what I’m asking you, but I just need an honest opinion about these ridiculous little freak-outs of mine and some advice. Am I just an unmotivated schmuck? I want do well in school; I’ve always been pretty studious and love writing, but I just let all these other silly excuses get in the way. Anything you could offer me would be ace.

Thanks heaps,
C

I have a huge problem and I was very much wondering if you could help me out.

I am sixteen years old. My sister is twenty, and I’ve always felt comfortable hanging out with the people she does. She has an acquaintance by the name of Todd. Todd is also twenty, and had a girlfriend. For reasons I don’t know, I became completely attracted to him. I developed a serious crush on this boy. He found out my feelings, and thought it was cute. We began talking and hanging out.

I was in a state of bliss, getting to see the guy of my dreams so often. My sister repeatedly warned me against him, saying how he wasn’t right for me, and he was too much for me to handle. I simply ignored her. His relationship to his girlfriend began to sour, and he broke up with her. The very same day he came to me, and asked me out. This is the crazy part: I didn’t want to go out with him. But I said yes. He was upset over his break-up, he wanted someone to talk to, and he came to me. How could I have said no?

We spent a day together, and he told me we could take things slow. I didn’t want to do ANYTHING, but I kissed him. It was really bad. It was my first kiss, so I don’t know if it was my fault or his. He has become totally clingy, wants to do things with me all the time, and I feel so pressured into moving into a sexual relationship with him. He said we could take things slow, but I don’t think he understands how slow I need to take things.

Confrontation has always frightened me. I wanted the fantasy of Todd, not the reality. He IS twenty, a junior in college, and I’m a sophomore in high school. I think this is too much too fast. But you see, he JUST broke up with his girlfriend, he is a very depressed guy, and seems suicidal. And all this time I’ve been acting like I would be so happy if I could have him. But I NEVER thought it would happen — EVER! He seemed so happy with his girlfriend; it seemed like a safe bet to say those things. But then they came true, and this is way too much for me to handle. He asked me if I needed time, and I said no, because I’m an idiot.

What can I do? We’ve been going out for so little time, and already I feel like I’m drowning. Please, please, please help me.

Smothered

Here’s a little background: Until I was 21 years old,
I was one of those perpetually single girls, and I
wasn’t all that unhappy about it. Then, bam! I dated
Boy #1 for about three and a half years. That relationship ended
as amicably as can be expected. Immediately
afterwards, I started dating Boy #2. This relationship
progressed over the course of two years from cheap sex
to casual dating to me falling hopelessly in love with
him. It ended with Boy #2 breaking my heart into
little pieces, which I am still in the process of
collecting.

So here’s the problem. I feel like I need to be single
for a little while, to get over Boy #2 and get my head
on straight about what I want out of life,
relationships, et cetera. I’m considering therapy. My
problem is this: I’m really scared of entangling
myself in another relationship before I’m ready. See,
most of my friends are guys, and I naturally get along
better with men than with women, at least initially.
What to do if I meet some dude who’s really awesome?
(This may have already happened.)

I don’t want to lead
anyone on, but I feel like getting into another
relationship now would be disastrous. There’s no good
way to say, “I just want to be friends.” Even if it’s
true, it sounds awful! Is there a better way to
approach this? How do you conduct a platonic
friendship with someone that you’re attracted to?
Should I only associate with women or attached men?
Help!

Trying to stay single