The Vine: January 3, 2001
Dear Sarah,I have a feeling this is something I have to decide for myself, but I’m
definitely torn on what to do.
I’m currently enrolled in a master’s degree program here in New York.
Due to money issues, I can only go part-time while working full-time. I
hate it (not the program, the working/schooling simultaneously
thing – the program is fine). I really want to move back to VA, which is
where my family lives, and go to school there. It’s significantly
cheaper, so I can afford to go full-time and work part-time, which is
what I’d rather do. The problem? The school here in NY is
significantly more prestigious than the one in VA, and my parents think
it would really be helpful for my career to just stick it out here, then
move back after graduation. They’re definitely right, but it’s going to
take much longer here due to the part-time thing, and it upsets me to
know I’m missing out on more regular interaction with my family. I
think about things like my sister’s engagement and get upset that I’ll
miss out on most of the wedding planning.
So, logically I feel like I should stay here, because that’s what’s best
for my career in the long run, but emotionally I feel like I want to be
there. Advice?
Between a rock and a hard place
Dear Between,
Go back to Virginia.
Yes, a prestigious program is a powerful blandishment, but prestige schooling doesn’t mean jack in the outside world, as my Ivy League degree and the $7-an-hour bookstore job it got me after graduation can tell you.
But that’s the only pro, and you’ve listed half a dozen perfectly reasonable cons. If you move back to Virginia, you’ll finish the program faster, you’ll do it for less money, and you’ll spend valuable time with your family that you know you’d regret missing.
Transfer to the Virginia program and don’t look back. Your parents will get over it.
Tags: the fam
