The Vine: January 9, 2001
Sarah,
I’m dating a guy whom I’d been friends with for over a year before we got together. I enjoy his company on a level that has previously been unknown to me. He’s an amazing guy: Intelligent, funny, sweet, talented, et cetera. We have recently crossed into the relationship stage. There’s just one problem. My boy has some funky b.o.
And I don’t mean after a hard day’s work. I mean like he’ll shower every day, even more than once a day, but he throws on the same funky clothes and NEVER uses deodorant. I don’t know how I never noticed this while we were just friends. But then again, I wasn’t getting naked with him then either.
I don’t want to hurt his feelings. He’s very sensitive, and is hurt easily (which in anyone else I’d find annoying, but this is love), so I have to find the most tactful way to tell him he’s got to clean up his act. I HAVE to tell him, and soon. I can’t have him walking around, meeting my friends and family, all funky. Can I? What would you do? How do you tell your boyfriend his hygiene is suspect?
Pal to Pigpen
Dear Pal,
There’s two ways to handle this: the wimpy way, and the direct way.
If you want to go the wimpy route, head over to Gentlehints.com and order him up the “body odor” package. The folks at Gentlehints.com will then send him a stick of deodorant and a note suggesting that “a person who cares” wants him to know that he smells. It sounds like a tempting solution, but he’ll find out eventually that it’s you who sent it, and it won’t end well for anyone.
So you’ll have to tell him yourself, directly, and hope he can handle it. Tell him you adore him, and what you’re about to say doesn’t change that, but he’s got to make with the Right Guard or a crystal or something, and to start doing laundry so that he has clean shirts. I know you dread saying it, but he does need to hear it.
Tags: boys (and girls) etiquette
